When other people disapprove

When people disapprove, take you the wrong way, think you’re inappropriate or just plain old don’t get you … Other people, huh?

Unfortunately you can never make them see you as you would like to be seen. That would certainly be nice though wouldn’t it?

It is something that has really dogged me my whole life, what other people say, what other people think of me, what I think other people think of me ... all of that stuff … and it has led to such self-doubt and self-editing. Not being free to be seen in public, as it were.

Ever have that yourself? It’s one of the reasons why I learnt the Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension meditation. Because it gives me the ability to just not care. To go “Meh!” To see what I can control and what I can’t, and to focus on what I can do rather than worry about what I cannot.

(Above is a picture of you, when you do that. You shine you see, just like a lightbulb. The perfect picture, yet again!)

Beyond that the only thing that seems to "work" is the realisation that I don't want to not be seen, not be me any more. That it's too much hard work to try and guess what other people might misconstrue or find appropriate, and just to get used to being taken the wrong way from time to time.

It takes courage, but it gets easier the more I do it ... just "putting myself out there" as it were.

The biggest fear, I believe, is not failure, but failing, looking stupid in public. And yet on the other side of that fear is such relief and freedom.

I don’t have any real fix, no magic pill to make fear go away and never come back — just that I know from personal experience that it gets easier to deal with the more you deal with it. Being present helps enormously, for sure.

So, I don't know if that helps any this fine day, but I certainly hope so!

You are amazing, get going on this life of yours. Don't wait for approval from no one! And certainly try not to waste your time wondering what other people think.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Life is too short to worry about what other people think, don’t you think?

Good luck - soldier forth, and if I can assist? Please just ask

PPS. If you’d like to learn the means to reset all your worries about other people, and bolster your “Meh!” muscle leaving you free to care about the important things in your life, here’s some excellent ways, for free:

Why you should be kind to yourself first

(<--- Here's a picture of how being kind to yourself which allows you to be awesome might look) Last blog I talked about President Obama and how he constantly taught his daughters to “be kind, be helpful”.

But how can you be kind and be helpful to others unless you also are kind and helpful to yourself?

I feel like I talk about this a lot, but it’s such a big thing.

It really IS a big thing - honestly - the voice in your head is so unforgiving about you and your mistakes. You will drive yourself into the ground trying to prove all manner of things to that voice and what you believe the people around you want you to be.

Being kind and being helpful to everyone begins within you.

Understanding that the voice of harshness and criticism doesn’t need to be listened to is a great start. Being aware of it but not following it (the half-step back) is super kind and helpful - to you.

Then it can run out of steam, run out of momentum - no longer are you swimming in negativity and you can also shift to appreciation. You can celebrate what you have done, what you have achieved, how great you actually are. You can understand that you’re doing your best and tomorrow you’ll do better.

When you do master that voice, you are truly able to be kind to anyone and everyone. Without mastering that voice? You cannot be truly kind, not fully.

Any worth while project in life always has its foundation within.

Mastering the inner game means you master the outer game. Take the time to come to grips with all your learned and limited beliefs and habits and you’ll be able to live as the very best version of you.

Alrighty? You’re awesome.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Mastering the inner game … being able to be kind even to that voice of harshness and doubt and criticism and negativity? Here's a free guide to doing just that:

Usain Bolt and all About Arrogance, Humility, Confidence, Doubt

I don’t know if you saw the documentary about Usain Bolt the other night on BBC1?

I didn’t.

ha - so much for that story.

No, there’s more than that.

Today is the day after Señor Bolt’s last 100m race, ever.

World Champs are on, and since I’m writing this early we don’t know if he will go out on top like he’s done for so long,

Or not quite make the great finish he wants.

His form this season hasn’t been world beating …

But I hope he gets that gold, that would make a nice fairy tale ending, wouldn’t it?

The reason I talk about him - and I am excited about watching the documentary is this:

He has a unique mixture of showy “I’m the greatest” without ever coming across as arrogant.

I saw a preview of the documentary,

The interviewer was rightly saying if anyone else did what he did, they would get slammed as being up themselves.

When Usain does his thing, the world laps it up and wants more.

That is fascinating to me, as well as the whole area of confidence and doubt and all that.

I’ve experienced the whole range from being completely arrogant to feeling like I am the lowest of the low, completely useless.

I know arrogance is awful, because it’s just low self-esteem in disguise.

It’s true what they say about the greatest people being willing to be the stupidest person in the room.

But that takes a lot of courage to step into a situation and show everyone that you don’t know.

Doesn’t it?

I know I’ve simply not done things because I didn’t want to appear as the slow one.

Not asked the questions that were burning in my head,

Not asked for help,

Sometimes simply stayed at home - even though I really wanted to get better at that thing.

Do you know that?

Being willing to put that self-doubt and image to one side and get a little uncomfortable is a magic thing.

In any sphere of life you can’t move forward without doing it.

I know it’s not easy, but you know what?

Being a teacher of some things, I LOVE it when people ask questions.

Simply because it makes my job so much easier.

I’ve learnt that I need to anticipate what people’s questions will be -

So I can help the shy ones.

However, it’s not so easy being a mind reader!

If you can jump up, it makes both our lives super simple.

Ascension meditation wise - the same thing occurs.

The same thing stops people showing up.

They really want to do it, but they’re nervous about it all.

They really want to ask a question, but don't want to seem stupid.

And rightly so - I still remember those teachers that slammed me in front of everyone at school.


Decades later and I still remember that!

That’s why I love our Ascension community.

It has so much support, you feel super comfortable, super quick.

It’s full of people who aren’t interested in pretending to be someone,

Or full of arrogance and bravado,

Just truly genuine, fun people wanting an end to stress, struggle and negativity,

And to step into what it’s like to be truly Alive,

All the time.

If you’d like to join us, you’d be so welcome.

Because it’s free to repeat the First Sphere course as many times as you like, you’ll meet them.

And if you are shy, no worries because they’ll probably ask the questions -

Or help you out themselves, if you get chatting.

If you'd like to know more, the best thing I personally would do is get on my email list.

It's full of emails like this one, so if you enjoyed this, you'll probably enjoy the rest.

To sign up, head this way:

Go well!



Oh - I have a FREE (in capitals!) guide - 108 ways of being mindful and present and living a truly Alive life.

Head the same way to get a copy,

(You can always unsubscribe after you get it)


I look at bubba - all 5 months of her,

And there’s zero self-doubt

It doesn’t exist.

She hasn’t learned it yet.

If you’ve learned it?

It can be unlearned.

It can.