Can you be completely free of stress and overwhelm and still get things done?
Can you enjoy every single moment, living a truly peaceful, alive and fulfilling life, no matter how busy you are or what’s happening around you?
Why, yes. Yes, you can.
Living this way can certainly be done. It’s rare, I’ll give you that, but can certainly be done if you want it.
You need give nothing up. You see, life is supposed to be lived at 200%.
200% is the experience of everything. It is complete fullness in both "spheres" of life.
It is a fulfilled, content, present and profoundly unshakeable inner connection and a complete, effective, exciting and totally enjoyable outer life.
Success, being busy and getting things done without contentment and peace is half a life. Being all "Zen" without the good things of life is only half the picture. You can have both; you deserve both.
You deserve to live 200% of life.
How?
It's about changing a few habits, it's about choosing to see your life in a different light, it's about being more present and mindful.
Sometimes it's about doing different things;
other times it's about doing the same things, differently.
In this, a small amount of practice goes a very long way. Why not set aside some of your day, every day, to remind yourself of some of the below?
There’s nothing you have to lose, and everything to gain. Make the time, it’s so worth it.
Just re-reading what follows may be enough to keep things in perspective.
OK! Let’s begin:
Money, health, love, sex, family, careers, possessions, travel = all great things. Enjoy them.
Yet your peace is the most important thing you can possess. Prioritise it and protect it.
Don’t wait for peace to be given to you, choose it. Not in some moment in the future, choose it now.
See when your peace and your happiness depend on someone or something. Disconnect the two. Choose to have peace and happiness that is uncaused, independent of the ups and downs of life.
Life happens while you are making other plans. Life is happening right in front of you – don’t miss out. Be alive to this moment.
The past is completely gone and the future is beyond your control. Stop regretting the past and trying to predict and control the future. It’s futile. Get present.
Stress, overwhelm, worry, anxiety, struggle, self-sabotage, reacting: ALL of them are caused by a problem being made a million times worse by your own mind obsessing and over thinking. Don’t let it control you.
Learn to see your thoughts and emotions as an option. Not the truth, but an interpretation. Examine them closely – are they useful in this moment? Learn to let go and ignore unhelpful thought patterns.
You have thoughts but you are not them. See the difference, be the difference.
Stopping over thinking, detaching from your head, being present; these are the keys to dealing with (and mastering) your stressed mind and difficult situations.
Basing your life in the here and now is the end of all regret, the end of stress, the end of fear. The end of all of it. Seriously.
You become calm, centred, clear and content. This allows you to live a vastly different life than one with stress, struggle, reaction, and confusion. Vastly. Like night and day different.
Learning to ignore thoughts and being present needs to develop some momentum, you need to practice it.
Learn and practice meditation. As little as 10–15 minutes a day will make a significant difference in your life.
During your day, when you realise you’re getting negative or reacting or stressed – take some full deep breaths as soon as you notice.
Your mind is not only based on past and future problems, it is negative and judgemental. Because it has this tendency, get positive. Glass half full all of life.
Appreciate and be grateful. Actively and constantly – speak it. Also write down at least five things you’re grateful for, five “wins” you had or lessons you learnt today.
Appreciation and gratitude isn’t sticking your head in the sand. It’s not about ignoring your problems – it’s about putting them in perspective. Perspective = clarity = simple way forward.
Choose your attitude. You can't control ALL the circumstances of your life, but you can always – ALWAYS – change how you respond to these circumstances. You are in control of this one thing. Choose how you react.
Take time for you, just you. Recharge, meditate, do nothing – even if it’s a few minutes, do it regularly throughout your day. It gives you more space in your head. More space = less stress and reaction.
Taking time for you is like putting on your own oxygen mask first – then you can really help others.
It’s not selfish, not selfish at all. It is the opposite.
When you are 100% everyone wins. When you’re not, no one does.
You are the source of all your problems and you are also the solution. Take responsibility. Make different choices.
Mobile phones – turn off all beeps and buzzing notification sounds. Don’t be like a monkey on a chain being pulled by your phone. Check in when YOU are ready.
Leave your mobile phone alone when someone else is in the room, when you’re at the dinner table, when you’re in bed, and especially when you’re in the shower.
Oh, and when you’re asleep too. DO NOT DISTURB mode it.
30 minutes (at least) before you go to bed? No screens. They mess up the quality of your sleep. They do, trust me.
If you need to, read something light in bed. Light! Not anything needing too much brains.
All this talk about rest and sleep? You’re highly likely to be exhausted and this makes you more likely to be stressed and reactive. The hours before midnight give you way more rest. Head to bed earlier.
Meditate. I’m repeating myself, but it’s so important – it helps you get some serious rest and recovery, both on a physical and mental level.
I’m serious about sleep and rest! You know how insane kids get when they're tired? You are the same and you don’t even realise it.
Caffeine? Makes your mind faster and more jittery, more likely to run to worry, less present and doing things too fast with poorer sleep. A few cups in the morning, awesome. Afternoon drinking? Be careful. Evening? Stop that craziness.
Coffee is a great drug, don’t get me wrong. It is a power of good. But respect the power.
Take Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and all that easy. It’s fun, but monitor your time. Unaware and you’ll waste your life on it. You’re busy so why not do something productive, truly educational and/or rewarding?
Be careful of trashy magazines, trashy TV, trashy internet, trashy anything. They all seem SO appealing, but it sucks the life from you leaving you a hollow shell, tarnished and dirty. Kinda fun though, ain’t they?
You have one life. What do you want to fill it with?
What you focus on, grows. What you reap, so will you sow.
“Comparison is the thief of joy” – Theodore Roosevelt
Don’t gossip.
Don’t blame or complain. Unless it’s to the person who needs to hear it.
And when you do, make sure the complaint is productive. Do you want to build or destroy? Help them be better.
Find a way to be of service to others. Studies have shown that time and time again the happiest, healthiest and most present people are those who have an attitude of giving.
Your best relationships? The ones where both people give, a lot. You start.
Surround yourself with good, inspiring, fun people.
Call your mum.
Menial or repetitive task? Bored? Get present. Be in your body. Focus on your movements, feel the flow, spread your feet and your toes, widen your perspective, breathe, do it with love and as an act of service.
Notice that this moment is happening. Experience what it’s like.
Don’t think, immerse yourself in what is in front of you. All your greatest moments? You were completely absorbed in the experience.
The experience of this moment is far greater than any thought about any other moment. Consider: would you rather have the taste of your most favourite thing, or a thought about it?
The experience is at the heart of fulfilment. The thought will make you wish for some other time, some other place, some other person.
Enjoy the journey. You may never get there, but you’ll certainly have a good time along the way. And you may even learn a thing or two.
Get rid of perfection, get rid of right and wrong. Go for constant learning and getting better.
Do one thing at a time.
Slow down. Breathe.
Stop trying to multi-task.
No matter how big or urgent your to do list, do ONE thing.
Take some time to plan, to order your to do list. Essentials, things that could wait, total bonuses if they get done.
After all, someone’s Nan once said “A stitch in time saves nine.” And “Less haste, more speed." And “Put the kettle on, will you love?”
Get clear, prioritise the truly important things over the merely urgent things.
Do you really NEED to iron ANYTHING? (And if you do? Truly enjoy it!)
Do it now.
If it comes into your head and you’re with the person you need to speak it to? Have the conversation now, don’t wait until a “better” moment. Or get with the person so you no longer delay.
Don’t wait until a better moment.
There’s never been a better one.
In fact, this moment is the best moment I’ve ever had.
Because it’s the only one you have. This is it. This is your life. What do you want to make of it?
Meet challenges head on but don’t worry if you quit. Sometimes the best option is to walk away.
The grass may be greener on the other side of the fence, but you will still have to mow it.
Be active, get good at moving forward and achieving, but learn to do nothing as well.
Be like a smoker – take regular breaks outside, chat, communicate about interesting stuff with tea in hand.
You pause all the time – like at traffic lights, waiting for the kettle. Take the moment to stop thinking. Instead really tune into this moment.
Protect your peace. Again.
Peace is the greatest thing you can possess, and yet the most casually discarded.
When you’re at peace, solid and stable – everyone around you feels it. They love it. Because in the chaos of their world they have an anchor. You.
You don’t get paid to be stressed. You might get paid to be responsible, but stress doesn’t help you be responsible. Or productive. Or effective. Or have any fun in the middle of hard work.
Calm and clear? Now you’re thinking well – with perspective, insight, intuition and creativity. When the pressure is on, when there’s nothing but chaos, urgent demands, the unexpected and the unwelcome, the best thing you can do is take the half-step back from all of it. Slow down, stop. Get calm and clear first.
Stress and overwhelm, worry and anxiety are habits. Notice when they start up, breathe. Create another habit.
Being calm, clear, present, content, focussed and happy is also a skill and a habit. You will forget. No deal, practice all these things.
80.Practice and you’ll live a profound AND productive life. A life worth living, free of fear and regret and worry.
Don’t concern yourself with forgetting, focus on the remembering. You can remember now, right?
Get out into nature.
Eat well, stretch, do some exercise, look after your body – it will look after you and mean you can be more present and mindful.
You don’t have time? Get off Facebook.
Truly: Meditate during the day and go to bed earlier and you’ll have more time.
When you’re stressed? Time goes down the tubes, fast.
When you’re calm? Time gets long. There’s plenty of it.
Made a mistake? Take it easy on yourself. Learn from it for sure, but don’t get harsh. Watch that voice – you wouldn’t speak like that to anyone else, but you do to yourself.
No matter what, you can always hit the internal reset button and go again.
Master the serenity prayer: “Give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference.”
When you’re present that wisdom becomes apparent, moment by moment.
Do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?
Learn to take things a little less seriously than yesterday.
Laugh at yourself. You’ll find a constant source of amusement.
Laugh at what you hold sacred. Still hold it sacred, but laugh too. Abraham Maslow said that – I think.
Be free to explore and do different things. But also be free to do the same things differently.
Everything is going to turn out just fine. It is. Sometimes you just gotta trust and return to the one thing you can do something about: this moment right in front of you.
All of the sorrows and tragedies, the pain and the confusion of your past? One good thing is that you can now help someone from experience. And what valued advice that will be.
Commit. Make a start, dive in, get going. Don’t over think it.
Especially what other people may or may not be thinking. If you’re not sure and really need to know, why not ask?
Pain is inevitable; suffering can become optional. It’s all about your state of mind.
You don’t need to give anything up. Enjoy 100% inner satisfaction, calm and clarity and 100% of the world’s joys, marvels, adventures and cool stuff.
Choose a diet that suits your body, not your ideas. Enjoy your food, it’s way more than just fuel.
Learn to be innocent again. A rut can become a grave. Be fresh, be alive, be curious.
Be peace. Be calm. Be patient and kind, especially to yourself. It is the path and the destination.
Life is short. Make sure you make the most of each and every moment. Don’t wait for life to be given to you.
Who are You? You have a family and a job and possessions and hobbies but you are not them. You have a body but you are not it. You have beliefs and principles but you are not them. You have thoughts and emotions but you are not them. Who are You?
You are unbounded awareness and presence. Unbounded, unlimited, free, full. You are that. Be that, live all of life from that.
So there you have it …
108 time tested and proven ways of ending stress and reaction while totally boosting your levels of calm, appreciation, love for life, mindfulness and presence, focus and effectiveness, fulfilment and happiness.
108?
Over the top perhaps but I wanted to give you as many ways and ideas as possible to get going on.
You may agree with some more than others – BUT – they all work when you fully do them, whether you believe they will or not, actually.
Particularly like or dislike any? Why not tell me about it?
If you need anything or if you have any questions? Let me know – I’m here to help.
Get in touch via: www.arjunaishaya.com/contact
Talk more soon,
Arjuna