Often I’m asked by parents how I can help their children be more or less. More focused, less anxious … more of this and less of that – you know what I mean.
It’s not just parents – “How can I help my partner, my friend, my brother …”.
We love these people and we want the best for them. “How can I help?”
Here’s a story on how to truly help:
(I’ve mentioned Gandhi twice in two weeks, apologies for that – but you get that sometimes).
A mother brought her son to see the great soul, asking Gandhi to tell her son to give up sugar.
“Come back in 2 weeks,” Gandhi replied.
After two weeks the mother and son returned, upon which Gandhi said: “Young man, give up sugar. It’s not good for you”.
The son nodded, and said he would do that very thing. The mother was profuse in her gratitude to Gandhi for his assistance, but asked him, “Why didn’t you just tell him two weeks ago on our first visit?”.
“Well, you see I needed two weeks to give up sugar first before I asked any one else to do the same thing.”
Nice, huh?
Advice is freely bandied about in our world. What really matters, what really changes the world, is not your opinion but your example – as the author Paulo Coelho noted.
Be the change you wish to see in the world.
The efforts you make to be better in yourself truly count – and for everyone around you.
They really do.
Be not a tugboat, but a lighthouse first and foremost. Shine bright.
Now:
Being better and having more impact on the people around us maybe as simple as being more present.
We don’t see this in our culture, but it’s not what you do or say that counts so much. As Maya Angelou is often quoted, and rightly so for they are beautiful words:
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
It's you, it's your presence, that's what people feel. That's what impacts – it speaks louder and goes deeper than any words.
Be more present. It’s all you truly need.
Your presence is also the source of all your wisdom and compassion and love.
Align with your presence and it will guide you.
And often that is to do less and be more.
But see what it says. See what is best for the moment and the people in front of you.
It’s your GPS, your power source, your freedom and your joy.
Return to it time and time again and you’ll be able to truly help – everyone: yourself and your loved ones.
Be the change.
Go well!
Arjuna