“The difficulty, my friends, is not in avoiding death, but in avoiding unrighteousness; for that runs deeper than death.”
— Socrates
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They say that one of the biggest regrets in life is not failing and falling on your face, but in never trying in the first place.
“They” being those at the end of their lives, having lived and now realised that their time is almost up.
The height of regret then isn’t so much about action but the LACK of action. It’s always been that for me. Wide awake at 1am? It wasn’t often about a mistake – I could do better next time – but usually for not standing up for myself, for not following through with what my gut was saying.
Jordan Peterson nails it:
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“You don’t wake up in the morning, berating yourself for telling the truth. You wake up at 4 in the morning for violating your conscience.”
— Jordan Peterson
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It’s easy to feel like a coward in the early hours of the morning.
These dark, quiet hours give so much benefit of hindsight (but also so much distortion due to exhaustion). It is so much harder when you’re up against it in the here and now; when you’re called to rise above your comfort zone to meet the need of the moment. It’s hard. Really hard. I know this, you know this too.
But these times of discomfort are stretching you and I. It’s the school where you learn to really dance with what you know to be true – something I think we have to do if we want to live the life we were born to, free of suffering.
I don’t know about you, but my greatest heroes, those I truly respect and look up to as a source of inspiration, are all those who live to the beat of their own drum.
Now – you might note that all of these true heroes of ours are also unconditionally loving.
Why? Because love for others always starts with love for the Self first.
It is through this unconditional love our heroes know they have to follow their sense of what is right – because to not do so is unloving of themselves: it results in a small, frustrating and bitter life; a fate our man Socrates declares is even worse than death.
So, love and acceptance and understanding comes first, always. And that’s what so many miss out on. They can be honest, but they’re brutally so. There’s no love, no seeking to connect and find out why.
When the tyrant between the ears is driving, you’ll find tyrants and oppressors everywhere – there’s fear and suspicion and separation. But when you involve yourself in the game of love and acceptance, boldness and curiosity can come forward. You want to build and connect.
For sure, the truth is never an attack. The righteous don’t need to prove themselves right, they are more interested in living their right rather than looking right to others.
You see, you don’t need external approval because the approval of your Self is everything. Attempting to live up to a higher standard of your own choosing is THE most exhilarating and satisfying journey in itself.
Well worth some discomfort to aim for, is it not?
So good luck. Keep aiming high, it’s the only thing.
Go well!
Arjuna
PS.
By the way, saying “No” to someone can be the most loving thing you can do – for yourself and for them.
and ...
Can you think of what might be the biggest source of drama, gossip, separation and “look at these idiots?” that you have in your life?
The biggest provoker of suspicion and fear … one that you can carry on your person?
Be very careful with your social media feeds.
Perhaps it shows you the worst, not the best, of humanity – and the more you look, the more it'll show you.