“We are as gods and might as well get good at it.”
― Stewart Brand
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Did you know that the Latin root of the word “parent” means “to bring forth”?
As in, to bring forth potential … to guide and assist in developing the fullness of a person.
If we’re lucky we have had great parents who did this for us, or we may have made sure we’ve found mentors and teachers that help us in our quest to be better.
Now, what makes a great parent/mentor?
Someone who does not hand us everything on a plate is one thing. We’re often too short sighted to see what’s in our best interests, so we require someone to help us, to educate and show us the way to better.
In this, a great parent or mentor doesn’t necessarily give us what we want, but what we need – and at the same time supports us totally in mastering the lesson in front of us.
There’s an example in human parenting.
Psychologist Angela Duckworth in her book, “Grit”, describes the impact of parenting styles, which is very cool:
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“Regardless of gender, ethnicity, social class, or parents’ marital status, teens with warm, respectful, and demanding parents earned higher grades in school, were more self-reliant, suffered from less anxiety and depression, and were less likely to engage in delinquent behavior.”
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Warm, respectful AND demanding parents is the key to thriving children. It’s necessary to have both high standards AND unconditional love – that’s what brings children forth.
Demanding parents with no love, completely loving parents with no standards, and parents with neither love nor standards = much more kids who suffer.
Now, back to us:
In a very real sense, Life, the Universe, God could be viewed as a wholly benevolent parent/mentor too.
I think it wants us to be the very best version of ourselves – or at the very least, I think it’s extremely useful for us to choose to assume that something bigger than us wants us to be better.
If you assume with me that the Universe is benevolent, working in our highest interests, always getting what I want isn’t useful in achieving that aim. It means I don’t challenge myself, I don’t have to grow or rise up to a higher standard. It means I don’t learn anything about myself and the world. It means I get lazy and unappreciative too.
Not getting what I want and expect can be an absolute blessing, in other words. Because if I use it the right way, I grow into something better: someone more surrendered, more calm, more grateful, more courageous, more compassionate.
And when I drop the shoulds and expectations of what I want and I have faith that whatever is happening is exactly what I need?
Then every single thing that happens becomes not a punishment, but an act of love.
Every single moment is delivered to me – and all of us – in perfection.
How wonderful is that?
You are led, guided, constantly shown how to be better. It’s up to you to take the invitation.
In that, you are so loved. Completely.
Go well,
Arjuna