"What is important is seldom urgent, and what is urgent is seldom important."
— Dwight D. Eisenhower
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I spent last week with 12 guys, all of whom said the most important thing to them was their family.
They all wanted more time – weekday evenings and weekends just flying by in a blur.
We all are busy. There is much to be done, just in terms of running a life, keeping everything ticking over.
We don’t have a lot of time, do we?
But we can make sure it’s quality time.
I want to keep the important things important – and not let the urgent, and ultimately forgettable, tasks take over.
Which they so easily do, don’t they?
My kids are 5 and 2. I’m sure they’ll be married and gone next time I turn around after finishing “just this one thing”.
When I look at it, this “one thing” can always wait til later. It isn’t that important.
Not when stacked up against my family growing and discovering; not when I consider how I might help or support or encourage a little more; not when I have an opportunity to love now that may never come again.
I want to make the most of my time with them.
How? How do you turn ordinary time into Quality time?
Do you need to fill it with wonderful questions and fascinating tasks? Do you need to know the right thing to say, ahead of time?
Applause to you if you have that kind of creative brain. Mine often goes offline, turning to jelly towards the end of the day when energy levels are lower.
No –
To make Quality time, you just need to show up.
Truly show up and be as present as you can be.
Nothing but you and them.
No past and future, just now.
It’s simple – but not easy. Simply because we’re so good at being somewhere else.
We’re so skilled at being physically located here, but absent and unconnected. Time travelling to a past moment – thinking about that sticky challenge at work – or ticking through that life admin you have to do tomorrow.
“Life is what happens when we’re busy making other plans”, John Lennon once quipped.
He’s so right.
Quality time flows naturally from being alive to this moment and the people in this moment.
You need not say a thing – your presence changes everything.
If there’s anything to say or do, it’ll come from here.
The present moment contains a wisdom and a creativity that’ll surprise you – especially if you’re not used to being here so much.
There’s a deeper understanding, a connection that happens, just by you showing up as fully as you can.
True – but you have to try it out.
You have to get clear and prioritise what is truly important to you. Otherwise you’ll be pulled around by every urgent little job that comes your way.
To me it takes constant reminding to keep the gravitational pull of the urgent at bay.
Mindfulness is awesome, but mindfulness needs to be applied in the direction that serves your life best.
Remember, the opposite of mindfulness is mindlessness.
And I don’t want to sleepwalk my way through life.
What do you reckon?
My good friend always says, “We’re here for a Good time, not a long time”.
Make your moments count. Make them Good.
Enjoy creating Quality in your life from right here.
And if I can help with that, let me know.
Go well,
Arjuna