"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms – to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."
— Viktor Frankl
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Some of you might know of Jamie Wheal. Jamie runs the Flow Genome Project, and is a talented writer, coach and outdoor leader.
In a recent email to his list, he talked in depth about EB – Expedition Behaviour. I had no idea EB had a name, but I knew in my very core that it existed.
You see, on any outdoor adventure, I was acutely aware of the fact that I wasn’t an island.
If I gave into the temptation to whine and complain, to bitch and moan – and no matter how righteously… no matter how bruised or wet or cold or hungry or lost or scared I felt… I would be an extreme drain to everyone.
I had (and still have) the ability to contribute to the morale of all, to lift and make the moment easier, or I can be a little leak in the balloon and sink it.
This is what Jamie Wheal calls EB.
EB not so much about your skills, but your being. You can have world class talent and experience at something, but if your attitude sucks? No one will want you anywhere near them.
This is the question:
Even, and especially, under pressure, when things are not ideal, can you – WILL you – put that to one side and do what needs to be done, no matter how you feel?
Essentially: Are you looking to add? Or will you subtract?
Now, I’m not saying suppress your emotions.
But emotions grow in direct relationship to how much attention you put on them. What begins as a tiny seed of doubt, depression, fear – if fed – will thrive, become overwhelming, and consume you.
The same with present moment awareness, inner-centredness and positivity.
Your ability to find something good, to focus on what you have and not what you don’t, to stand tall despite the circumstances and how you feel… all this grows the more you focus on it – and rewards you with the feeling of being back in the driver’s seat. Which is worth everything; and lifts everyone.
Now – when you need help, you need help. So get help. Don’t try and do this alone. Trying to do it alone actually drags on the people around you. They know anyways, so you might as well be out with it and get back on your feet asap.
Combine awareness of attention and positivity with a way of thinking that is more about ‘we’ than ‘me’, and that is how you add, or how you subtract.
So – we’re talking about being in the outdoors, a long helicopter ride from hospital, if at all you can spend the day/s to get out and find someone to alert the rescue.
Real life isn’t like that, is it?
Yet it is.
Under pressure, everything is heightened. But pressure is a magnifier for how we behave in all of life.
The fact is, in any times of trouble we tend to get more me centred; we can totally forget everyone else. And yet, as my Ishaya teacher reminds me time and time again, it’s not your problems that lead to suffering, it’s being self-absorbed and lost in your problems that leads to suffering.
When you have an eye on how you might lighten the load for the people around you, you jump right out of myopic focus on your troubles and how your life isn’t going so well, and – somehow, almost miraculously – get more in yourself, even though you’re giving more away.
Giving creates more freedom. Giving floats everyone’s boats.
As Victor Frankl saw, even in the hell of concentration camps, there are always these people. While in the concentration camps they might not have exactly thrived, but by all accounts they certainly had a much easier time of it. Most importantly, they didn’t give away the last of their freedoms to fear and lack.
So… why not?
What might your life be like if you consistently prioritised and practiced building EB, your character, your being more?
What if you got clear and centred, didn’t focus on what you couldn’t control so much, got going on what needs to be done, and sought to make a difference, to yourself and to others, more?
From my experience, when I seek to lessen the load and not contribute to it, life takes on such a deeper meaning. Indeed, freedom is the word I’d use. It’s way more buoyant. I shrug things off easier, I laugh quicker and more, I realise how much I create my reality by what I focus on.
It doesn’t take much effort, but it does take prioritising the inner journey. A strong, joyful, present and independent internal foundation makes the outer weight so much easier to manage.
And so that’s one of the questions for me always – with my family, my community, on social media, everywhere I find myself:
"How can I add? How can I lighten the load?".
Go well,
Arjuna
PS.
If you’d like to join us on an Ascension meditation course, the next course is 4-6 March (starts 7pm Friday).
We’d love to have you, it’s a lovely practice with a lovely community.
Any questions? Just ask!
Thank you, as always, and talk soon.