“It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
— Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, author of “The Little Prince”.
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Fun, joy, happiness, ease, peace of mind, love, satisfaction, meaning, purpose ...
If you ever meet an Ishaya for more than a casual chat, chances are they will ask you what is the most important thing to you.
Take a moment –
What is the most important thing for you?
Truly?
Many start by picking money, health and happiness for loved ones, to find a soul mate, to be able to turn back time or know that life is just going to turn out okay.
If we boil that down, what we’re saying is that we want happiness, freedom, security, peace of mind, love, certainty, etc. most of all.
Am I right?
Yet we’re all guilty.
These things, these essential yet invisible things, aren’t prioritised.
They fall into a “nice to have” category –
But people at the end of their lives overwhelmingly say they wish they took more time to be happy, that they let themselves enjoy life – in all its imperfections – more.
We're guilty of not investing enough in what is truly important to us.
Why?
Well –
I remember reading Dr John Gottman, a relationship expert, talking about how most relationships don’t break down because of a lack of love, but a lack of EMPHASIS on love – and all that surrounds love: appreciation, gratitude, compassion, understanding, celebrating the good of you and of us together.
Relationships fail so often because the interaction becomes transactional –
It becomes about the business of maintaining a relationship and a house and a family and all that admin of running a life…
“Can you drop Zach at gymnastics?”;
“Remember we need rubbish bags”;
“My mum is visiting Sunday, please don’t wind her up like you always do” …
We forget the “work” to maintain the glue of “Hey! I like you, a lot” – and then all the holes and imperfections and character flaws that we all have start to become more and more obvious.
Right?
Getting things done – no matter the cost to us – is the most obvious, the easy, thing to focus on.
I talk to a lot of people, a lot of driven people, who are afraid of being lazy. Afraid of missing out. Afraid of what will happen if they take their eyes off the wheel for even a second.
And that costs.
It costs us a ton of energy (remember it’s not so much the physical doing, but the mental and emotional cost of thinking and second guessing and doubting and all that) –
And it costs us the essential things, the things in the quiet moments we know are most dear.
That fear – and it is fear when it comes down to it – is something that I know well.
It’s one of the things that made me take vows as a monk.
Because I knew how good life was when I could keep love central in my life, and I knew how bad life could get when fear took the upper hand.
What I appreciated, and still do, about the Ishayas is that they never advocate a spiritual head in the sand approach. Happiness and peace and meaning can never be found in the escape from responsibility and ambition.
It’s the full embracing of that, together with the finding and maintaining of a central core of presence, love and enjoyment in the middle of all the doing.
This is true –
Through the intention and the attempt to keep the essential, invisible things central to each and every moment, you can only win.
You win over fear, you win by being more effective in what you do, you win because you are clear on what brings you the most meaning and purpose.
200% of life.
Inner peace and calm and satisfaction,
plus,
Outer effectiveness and being able to make the difference you want to make in your world.
It’s not an either/or equation.
So, please remember this – don't make it one.
Do let me know how I can help with that –
After 20 years really tackling this, I’ve been through it, I still go through it, I know the pitfalls and what to do to make your journey smooth, graceful, flowing and fun.
The right guidance is worth everything.
If you want to know more, let’s chat.
Reply to this, comment, or send me a message here: m.me/mrarjunaishaya
Be lovely to hear from you
Go well!
Arjuna
PS.
When it boils down, life is about love versus fear.
Do the things that mean love grows in your life.
If you want to know what those things are, comment to this or send me a message and I’d be so happy to help.
I have some guided meditation audios that will help no end.
The link to those is in my bio, or let me know if you’re interested and I’ll send you the download link.
Talk soon!