“If we practice mindfulness we always have a place to be when we’re afraid.”
– Thich Nhat Hanh
“The more you can really totally relax with ‘what is’, the more ‘what is’ has a way of correcting itself.”
— Adyashanti
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It is undeniable that life will life you. It will throw all sorts of stuff at you, and in this you get to see what a nightmare your head can be.
It’s not the thing that bites, but our relationship to the thing that really matters … and the one thing we can actually do something about.
Here the key is the ability not to fight with, or deny reality.
How often have you struggled against something that is happening under your nose? It certainly may be not what you want or expect, but like being stuck in traffic – the resistance only hurts you. It never changes the reality of what is happening.
Being able to change your world is an admirable trait, but on equal footing is the ability to accept what you have no control over.
Now, learning to do that in traffic is one thing, learning to do that when an emotional response to your past resurfaces is a whole 'nother ting.
Regret, shame, worry and overwhelm, disappointment, sadness, frustration and out right anger … your past comes back to revisit in the form of these emotions, doesn't it?
You can try and change what’s happening internally, distract or sedate yourself, maybe attempting to suppress – which can work on a temporary basis, but it always comes back …
Not to haunt you, mind, but to be released. Like a burp, like a dodgy meal. Not pleasant at the time perhaps, but when it’s gone, it doesn’t come back.
So the problem is when we try and deny this process, when we try to hold back something that wants to go, to rebalance. Makes sense?
Hence, my top tip #1 –
Don’t crimp the tube. Let it flow.
Certainly, there is a time when you need to hold it together, but there’s also time to release – and when that time is nigh, you need to let it happen.
Done right, it’ll be like a wave. Big and scary perhaps, but relax into it and it will peak and it will fall and leave.
Top tip #2 –
Let it flow, but don’t get lost in it.
Real healing comes not from running from it any more. It only has a grip on you when you try and resist.
Talking is useful, yes, as well as using long slow breaths or something like the Ascension Attitudes.
These mean you have an anchor and a place to stand while the storm blows itself out. When you have a place to stand, you need not fear anything. Nothing. You won’t get swept away by the wave – you can let the pressure release in a graceful, healthy way.
And like our man Adyashanti said at the beginning of this –
By relaxing into it, the thing has a way of balancing out. It has a way of not being so intense or scary next time. It lessens and lessens until it’s done. Gone. Your nervous system is back in equilibrium.
This takes time, for sure. Depending on how much you’ve suppressed will depend how much momentum it’s built up.
But, this doesn’t change the fact that the way forward is to go with, not against –
Next time you are facing something you don’t want, don’t avoid but try turning towards it. Try relaxing into it while it happens.
Do your best not to get involved in the story – the shoulds and woulds and what if’s and I can’ts – and be as present as you can.
Every storm runs out of rain, and when it does there’s a cleansing. A lightness of being.
You’re left with a real power gained from experience that you don’t have to resist a single thing. You can embrace everything and come out the other side so much better for it.
In fact, get skilled at this and you are free, regardless of the weather. Free!
So –
Prioritise and protect your peace. That doesn’t always mean peace from; it also means peace with.
Go well!
Arjuna
PS.
Hey, so if you really want a way of anchoring yourself and allowing the stresses of life to be released, come and learn Ascension (or repeat for free!)
Truly – it’s how you can get such a place to stand and shelter and to enjoy all of life, no matter what it throws at you.
It is the simplest yet most powerful way of being completely free of all negativity and limitation and live a life of absolute Aliveness.
Nothing to prove, nothing to hide, nothing to fear.
Next course is 9-11 February
Reply or send me a quick message and I’ll get back to you with more details.
Talk soon!