This weekend, I'm doing a 50-mile race over some mountains in Wales.
For the past eight months, I've been training for it. Like all journeys, some parts of the plan have gone smoothly, others haven't.
My job has been to lay the small bricks, steadily building towards something larger. How it's come to be, and how it will continue to evolve — that winding path into the future — is not mine to control.
Now, just a few days out, my mind wants to dwell on the "Big Day." Will I? Won't I? What if? Yet, what will truly get me to the finish line isn't focusing on the end, but simply on the next small step, just as I have for the last eight months.
It's about left foot, right footing it, dealing with whatever arises as it happens. Problem-solving on the fly, with an overarching commitment to do my best to reach that line.
This applies to so many aspects of life: your relationships, your career, your health, your kids. It's not about expecting things to work out, because nothing is guaranteed. Instead, it's about being all in for the win anyway. A curious balance, but a powerful one when you grasp it.
The Secret Sauce
The secret sauce to life is committing to something. Anything.
It's choosing where you're going to invest your time and effort, regardless of the uncertain outcome. We are all making choices, and life is the result of these choices and our wholehearted efforts—not so much the final result itself.
Life isn't so much about "the what"; it's about how we do it. It's the how – this full hearted commitment – that satisfies, not so much the result.
Then you learn so much about what will distract you and drag you down.
You get to practice the choice between listening to expectations, doubts, fears, and frustrations, or ignoring them. You constantly tweak your attitude toward what happens, opting to make the most of what you have rather than focusing on what you lack.
Realising we have freedom of choice makes a world of difference. I don't have to do this race. None of us have to do anything. Yet sometimes it feels like we're stuck, that we "have to." It's important to understand that this feeling of being stuck is often created by that very "I have to" attitude — an attitude we can change.
Remembering that we get to define life as we see fit is crucial for making life easier and living it well. In other words, it's remembering: "I don't have to, but I want to... I get to do this." This absolute embrace of what we do transforms everything.
When Things Get Hard
What if I don't "succeed"? I can quit and try something else, anytime.
Yet, even when it gets hard, I know I'll keep going because it means something. I know "hard" is only temporary. I know it only feels overwhelming when I'm focusing on the wrong thing, on the downside. That feeling is a great signal that I need to choose again.
Running might seem trivial, but beneath the act, there's so much more. Perhaps it's these small acts of victory over the "small self" — the moment-by-moment choice to step back and give no attention to "It's too hard” or “I can't".
Instead, it's remembering that what I focus on grows. It's choosing differently — to be content, to look up and out at the scenery, at the other runners. But also, it's choosing to go within, into that quiet, still sanctuary deep inside. Anchoring myself there, in the only place of constancy and certainty in this entire universe, is where I find the ultimate source of freedom, resilience, flexibility, and Good.
Everything and anything is do-able from there. Everything.
You can choose that too. You are that. Choosing to remember this makes all of life so very different.
Pain vs. Suffering
This isn’t a brutal thing. It’s possibly the most gentle and sensitive thing you can do. For our troubles are created in the mind. Choosing differently removes the trouble, immediately.
There's an old Buddhist saying: "In life, pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
Being sensitive to this choice; learning to be free of suffering — this is what this game is all about. It's the ultimate goal of everything you do. Because when you choose to go beyond suffering, life can be played all in, without a handbrake. That is the most satisfying thing — not the result, but the full, uninhibited playing of the thing.
So, as always, go well.
Arjuna
PS.
I’ll be back in good physical shape for the Ascension course 4-6 July (7pm start).
The ultimate tool for free choice – and always free to repeat.
It's not only a nice little retreat, but a deep reminder of how to live life differently – give yourself the tools to live this life supremely well.
Join me, and everyone, for an incredible, transformative weekend: let me know if you’d like more details.