Surviving your own family

So how was your Easter? Thought I’d say hi — I don’t have any message for you, nothing about rebirth, new starts, choosing to hit the reset button and begin again any time you like. Nothing like that. You can take something from that list if you like though, for sure!

I had a couple of days with extended family, just enjoying life. Nice to switch off and do nothing but read a book and chat and go for a walk (and a kayak - although cold, that’s always a joy!) and cook and hang out.

You know, I believe the ability to tune into this precise moment in time and to make the very most of what is in front of you — no matter what that may be — could be one of the most important skills you can ever develop.

To stop dwelling on a past that is gone and a future that is beyond your control, and to thrive now, independent of the circumstances you find yourself in — rather than surviving until your life looks the way you want it to is rare, very rare.

Where this becomes relevant to Easter, is family time. For some, family time together just means you get a bit edgy, tempers start to fray, arguments start or resurface - at the very least.

Amazing how family, like no one else, can poke and prod you and create such a reaction and emotion, isn’t it? So many people ask me about this.

You can’t choose your family, for sure, and so if you need to take time out from them for your own sanity, well I for one think that is a great idea.

What you CAN do, however, is simply love them exactly as they are. A lot of us try and change our partners and our family to a huge degree, and that is always a recipe for disaster — in my opinion.

Accepting and allowing goes a long way with family (with anyone actually) — and means YOU have a peaceful life. Instead of fighting and insisting they are a particular way, you stop struggling and can make the most of who they are.

Perhaps that means you don’t spend a lot of time with them. But for sure, loving them exactly as they are means you spend a ton less energy and time getting upset with them - and that is always the bottom line: you’re setting up your life so that you always enjoy this moment, and the people in it, to the maximum.

How can I enjoy this moment more?

If you find yourself a bit miserable, then so often the answer is to get out of the past and the future and make the most of what you do have, instead of insisting of what you should have.

It's a practice - you have to practice this. You can't just turn it on any more than I can just balance on my nose without practicing. OK?

And there is more to it than that, but for a cheeky blog that will suffice.

For a short “hello”, turns out I had something to say after all. How about that? Wonders never cease, do they?

You’re awesome, thank you for reading, and if there’s anything I can do for you, let me know. Go well! Arjuna

PS. Of course, having the tools to be present, the tools that bring you to a state of enjoyment is super, super useful. Here's my free guide to how to be more present, less stressed and to freely choose to enjoy this moment, no matter what: