Oh my goodness - There is so much stuff out there in the interweb that seems to sell perfectionism, isn’t there? I was sitting down over the weekend with a bunch of ladies that came to a meditation and mindfulness workshop I was doing and was reminded of that.
One of the conversations was about instagram and facebook and how there are sooooo many seemingly perfect people on there, selling perfect bodies, perfect families, perfect jobs, perfect food, perfect everything.
Seeing that, even as a casual observer, it can be so easy to feel “less than” - that you’re somehow failing because your life isn’t like those you see around you.
But the fact is it's mostly a front, a great illusion presented for likes and popularity and business.
It can also be so easy to be really hard on yourself when you focus on all those things you think you did wrong - and your mind is excellent at that, by the way. It will focus on the 30 minutes of your day that was a nightmare and completely forget how great you were and how straightforward the day was for the other 23 hours and 30 minutes.
Our minds focus on what is wrong with us so easily, and it causes regret and guilt and a whole world of blah and self-violence.
So I say give up perfectionism, and comparison too. Throw it away. Give it a big kick.
That you’re still reading this means you want to be better —and that is all that counts.
You want to learn skills to be more calm and less reactive. To get that half-step back from what you’ve done, from what you’ve think you’ve done.
You want to be reminded that you are MORE than enough. You are down-right amazing, actually - it’s just you are always the last to see it.
So give yourself a break. Give yourself a pat on that back.
You are already better just wanting to be better.
You are already better just knowing that you are a little harsh, that you react sometimes.
True. Without seeing that habit, you have no choice, you can't do anything about it. So do give yourself that pat on the back, you're already well on the way to beating that voice.
So, when you notice that critical voice coming up, know that you’re leaving it behind. No matter how many times it comes, bring your attention to something else. The breath, deep into your belly, slowly exhaling out. The Ascension Attitudes are genius too at breaking that habit of perfectionism and self-violence.
Don’t let that voice win, with consistency you will be better.
You ARE more than enough, and there’s even more to come.
If I can help? Please just ask.
Go well today, have a great day! Arjuna
PS. Giving up my own voice of perfectionism and over the top criticism has been quite a journey, it really has.
“I will get better” was/is an amazing attitude to take about all of life. Then you never give up.
Here’s some free tools that I put together for you: