I used to spend a lot of time in regret. As a percentage of my time it probably wasn’t a lot but it felt a lot because the things I regretted were important to me.
The biggest thing I would regret is behaving in a way that felt rude, or impatient, or not kind or compassionate in some way.
I had pretty high standards, but some times I would just react, fire off, and hurt someone’s feelings or just feel like I was an idiot in front of someone.
It was so much in my head, the whole guessing what someone else might actually be feeling or thinking about me, but the fact is I really wanted to be as “good” a person as I could be, and it hurt when I felt I wasn’t.
These days it’s easier because I’ve learnt not to second guess and think about it, if I do think I’ve said something stupid, then I ask. Saves staying awake at night.
I also don’t react as much as I used to. I feel like “button pushing” moments are getting rarer these days, and I’d put that down to my Ascension meditation practice.
It has a great way of making you like teflon - you find it difficult indeed to have anything stick to you.
And the other thing I’ve gotten is just better at not carrying the past.
I still strive to be the best possible person I can be, and in many ways it’s still true that “I don’t fear dying, I fear not living life fully” (Wim Hof) but I’m without the striving part.
I know that a full rich life can only be lived now. Noble goals are made up of small steps. The best step is the one that you can take now.
There’s not that double sided coin of fear/punishment driving me, so I can relax and enjoy as well as push some boundaries, if and when they’re there.
What I want to say to you, if any of this resonates, is learn to overcome regret and worry. Don’t indulge in it - even if something is worth worrying or regretting over.
It just doesn’t help.
Keep starting a fresh, do your best but carry nothing.
That in itself will mean you evolve as past as possible, you’ll squeeze everything you can out of this life. You don’t need to struggle and analyse “how to”, you just need to learn how to stay very very present.
Everything will come from right here.
Have a great day. As always, if you need anything, I'm here. Right here (just a little metaphysical joke).
PS. The Bright Path Ishayas' Ascension meditation weekend interest you? 15-17 April (we begin at 7pm on the friday)
It's the single greatest thing that I have ever done. And I know I'm biased, but if you want a way out of regret and worry, to step into a happy, free life, then come along.
Get in touch if you want a seat.
FREE ebook on meditation and mindset for ending stress, struggle and self-sabotage: