We were chatting to a new mum with baby strapped to her, asleep for once by the sound of things, just after she dropped her 6 year old at school.
Out of nowhere she said, despairingly,
“I really don’t know what I’m doing wrong …”.
Man, that kind of hopelessness can be so easy to fall into, especially when you’re navigating a big challenge like children.
It’s not easy being a parent – it’s not easy being a human for that matter.
I used to look at adults like they knew. Like they had life all sorted.
I thought they knew the rules, how things worked, what to do and what not to do.
After all, most of my childhood was spent being told what to do!
Maybe they had some kind of rulebook of life that I’d be given later on?
Unfortunately, now I am an adult, I realise that every adult is just making it up as they go along …
And therefore sometimes (often?) we feel like we can’t get anything right.
What do you think?
But I do think there’s some guidelines to better living …
(Cheeky aside – I wrote a whole book you might want to check out, called 200% — An Instruction Manual for Living Fully).
Here’s a shorter attempt at how to navigate life’s challenges more gracefully:
1). Other people work best when you recognise what they’re doing right more than what they’re doing wrong
2). You are exactly the same
3). There’s no such thing as right and wrong
— cheesy as it may sound, there is only skilled and unskilled
— you’ll get better with practice
4). Positivity beats everything
— you’re doing a marvelous job, truly
— and you’ll get better with practice
5). Except when you’re using it to ignore an obvious problem
— gather all the facts with a level head and come up with a plan of some sort
— you’ll get better with a practice that matches the challenge
6). It will be hard at times, and that’s okay
— it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong
7). Everything changes
— it won’t be hard forever
— this too will pass
— and you’ll get better with practice
8). Challenges never end until life ends
— don’t look for the finish line, there isn’t one
— enjoy the journey
— create space to rest and recharge now, not when
9). When everything is hopeless you probably just need some food and a good rest
— see if you can get that in first before you tackle the rest of your to-do list
10). Other people can help
— especially when they are or have been where you are
— knowing you’re not the only one is so useful
11). Stay where your feet are
— be as present as you can
12). Be as kind and accepting as you can (start with yourself first)
13). There are no rules, so don’t look for them
— do you give them a fish or teach them how to fish?
— It all depends don’t it?
— be present and you’ll have a better idea on how to meet the need of the moment
So — that works for me. But who cares what I think, what works for you?
What did I miss?
How do you remind yourself of what’s important, of how to best navigate life?
Let me know, I would love to hear.
Til next week, go well!
Arjuna
PS.
The last Ascension meditation course for 2023 is coming soon –
10-12 November (starts 7pm Friday)
Come along!
Not only is it a great tool for deeply resting and re-energising,
It really is marvelous for giving you serenity and acceptance, courage and wisdom – as the well known prayer goes.
Nothing better for helping you navigate life gracefully.
Reply or msg me and I’ll get back to you asap with details.
Tap the link below and we’ll chat more:
m.me/mrarjunaishaya
Talk soon!