“If you want to eliminate the suffering in the world, then eliminate all that is dark and negative in yourself.
Truly, the greatest gift you have to give is that of your own self-transformation.”
— Wang Fou.
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It’s a common theme:
That in order to experience light, you have to have times of dark.
Happiness can only be known through sadness. Calm is only apparent when you know anger. Peace only comes in contrast to worry and anxiety.
It’s poetic, I’ll give you that. It has a kind of balance that has a symmetrical appeal. It can seem right.
But …
Nah. You don’t need sadness to feel happiness, rage to feel peace, confusion to know clarity.
They are self-evident. They truly can be a fact in and of themselves, free of any downsides.
So don’t listen to this idea, don’t make it true for you.
If anything, use the stark contrast in your life between times of light and dark and ease and suffering to find a way to end darkness and suffering. In yourself first, then see what you can do for someone else.
Darkness and suffering isn’t necessary.
Look —
You all know what it’s like to doom scroll your own mind. One thing leads to another leads to another, a slippery downward spiral of deeper and deeper stress and suffering.
And it’s self-induced, because what you put your focus on, grows.
It may not be conscious – but your attention has power, so it’s a great idea to start to wake up to how you spend it.
Spend it on darkness, even the belief that suffering is necessary for light? That’s what you create. That’s what you truly get more of. Spend it on Good? That’s what multiplies.
Now, it is possible to gaslight yourself. In the parlance, have a “spiritual bypass” —
Where despite all the evidence that there’s something demanding in your life you need to look at, all you do is stick your head in the sand.
You don’t use Good and presence and gratitude as a foundation to look calmly and clearly. Instead, positivity becomes a way to actively resist the work you might need to do … “The everything’s perfect” approach.
I’m not talking about that.
But …
If you cling to the idea that darkness is necessary for anything, you just continue the story of suffering. And that’s really not serving you, or anyone.
Do objectively look at the status of your life. You can see what you’d like to be different, you can see how as a person you would like to be different.
Then you can see the facts. The objective reality of the cards you’re playing with. Very useful. Because then you can do something with those facts.
But —
Don’t get lost in the emotion or the story around what you find as shortcomings. i.e., “I’m useless, I’m a failure, I’ll always be like this, if it wasn’t for her/him/it, then things would be different …”
Doom-scrolling right? And you know where that goes. It’s endless and miserable and not useful at all.
Darkness isn’t necessary, at all.
And again, “what if?”. Despite everything you’ve thought up to now, what if your life could become nothing but a force for positivity and light and excitement and satisfaction?
Imagine a life where you saw so clearly that the times of suffering in your life was simply because of an unconscious choice, of an unaware and unskilled habit?
Amazing.
This is the real alchemy of your choice in your life. With a bit of awareness and practice, you get to decide whether you suffer or not.
You may not know how right now, but have the intention and you find your way. There are people and tools that will help you beautifully.
I quoted Terence McKenna last week, but I’ll do it again because I think it’s so worthwhile.
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“Dream the impossible dream and the world will not grind you under, it will lift you up.”
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Don’t simply go with what everyone else thinks. See if your idea feels right to you … if it feels exciting and expansive to you. Then put it into practice, move forward with it. It’s only other people’s opinions who make it seem impossible, but then opinions often aren’t related to reality.
And … It only takes a few people to prove them wrong and change a world.
Go well!
Arjuna
PS...
I have some guided meditation audios and other resources that you might well enjoy, and find useful in terms of becoming mindfully aware and freeing yourself from stress and suffering.
The download link is in my bio, or ask and I will get them to you ASAP.
Enjoy, and let me know how you get on.