May and I were out to the shops, and Halloween selling is in full 'bloom.' I was horrified by one plastic dismembered leg sticking out into the aisle. If I didn't like it, you know May, at 8 years old, really didn't like it.

That night I was tucking her in, and she said that all she could see was that leg... "What can I do?" she asked.

We talked about the feeling of her toy unicorn in her arms. The weight and warmth of her duvet. Her breath. My voice. My hand holding hers.

"This is real," I said. "This exists." The image in your mind? "It's not like this, is it?"

"Keep coming back to what’s real, and helpful. What is truly real and helpful right now isn't memories or maybes. It’s this. It’s me and it’s you."

I told her this is exactly what I teach: Learning to pick the mind up when it’s useful and put it down when it’s not.

"Like when I need my mind for a maths test, right?” Absolutely.

The mind is a beautiful tool but a terrible master.

Yet we assume it will just be alright. We rarely train our minds to do what we want them to.

What you focus on, grows is a cornerstone truth. Our attention wanders here and there, and it feels real — it becomes our reality. But you have a say in your reality.

If you take one thing away from this, know that you get a choice in what you focus on.

Growing up in New Zealand, I often watched competitive sheepdog trials. A trained sheepdog is a thing of sublime high-performing beauty. An untrained one is an agent of chaos. Life is hard enough; why not practice training your inner state to be an extremely useful tool, even a friend?

If you want more free choice, practice a little of what May is practicing:

Sense into the present moment — what it contains, what you can feel, what is undeniably real, and what you can act on.

Separate the mental/emotional and the past/future from what you can put your finger on, now. Know the difference, and practice grounding yourself in this moment.

Ask: What is most useful to think and feel right now? (This will change as what you’re doing changes.)

Repeat. Choose again and again until you can direct your own attention as you wish.

Celebrate! For you've gained real choice.

As you do this, you’ll start to notice your own awareness, your presence. You'll notice that you are noticing the moment, and you’re noticing that you’re noticing.

This isn’t an endless loop inward. As you get familiar with this serene yet energised inner awakeness, you’ll find a sanctuary and a place to stand tall. So explore, be curious of this too.

If you know the Ascension Attitudes, drop these in to break out of your habitual thought and feeling loops, to further anchor you in what’s real, to train your mind puppy in the most graceful, useful, and enjoyable way.

Now, there is nothing wrong with thinking and feeling. Please don’t get that message. But don’t let them be the boss. That’s not useful at all. You have thoughts, you have feelings, but you are not them, so don't let them drive.

Okay?

Let me know how I can help!

Go well,

Arjuna

PS. The 200% Life

This is exactly why I became a monk:

I saw how useful my mind could be when it was in harmony, and how horrible it could be when it wasn't. I wanted more harmony and less self-harm.

That feeling of having nothing to prove and nothing to hide — filled with vitality, clear-minded, courageous, and able to move forward, guided by what’s truly important — is the 200% life. You can have that too. With a little practice, it all comes to you.

There are two options I recommend if you’re truly interested:

Do an Ascension Course (there’s two left for this year: 17-19 October and 21-23 November, both start 7pm Friday) – the best tools for living the kind of life you’re excited by.

And I’m opening more one-on-one mentoring/coaching slots. A little personal guidance can go an incredibly long way.

If you’d like to know more, get in touch and we’ll chat about the details.