I think I’m getting pretty good at this relationship thing. I said that to Sumati the other day and a funny thing happened. She squarked and coffee came out her nose. Weird huh? I used to be terrible, but I wanted to get better because I was SO terrible, or at least, distinctly average. I always thought it was their fault, but then I woke up and realised it was mine. That wasn’t really a nice realisation, but it was a good one.
You see - All my relationships were based on waiting for her to give to me, because basically, “I deserve it”. My whole approach was “what can I get from her?” Gimme gimme gimme - it could have been my name. And quite often I was left wondering why my relationships didn’t sparkle, why they weren’t really alive, why they just failed.
“It must be her fault” I mused … wrongly. Here’s the thing: if you want a super alive, connected, loving, exciting relationship where arguments and disagreements seem to rarely happen … ?
Give. Give. Give and give. You first - give and then, you will get. It’s easy to get complacent in a busy relationship. It’s easy to take the other for granted. However, you have the key:
Give. The greatest thing you can give? Like I said the other day - first your presence, your complete attention. And second - easy peasy - your active appreciation and gratitude.
Praise and appreciate til the cows come home and watch what happens. Not only will your relationships light up, but your whole attitude to your life will.
Go well! Arjuna
PS. Your habits around giving are probably all twisted up. Like many people you can be more free around giving, and indeed, receiving. The great news is these programmes can be refined, retuned, replaced.
Here’s the secret, I reckon: https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/