Your biggest cause of stress lies in your control issues. Do you know that? It’s ok - you’re one, I’m one, everyone has a control freak inside.
In the attempt to secure something, you try to control the uncontrollable. And that means you stress and struggle.
You waste so much energy and effort and time running around trying to make the world and the people around you the way you think they should be.
You think when the world and it’s people are the way you want it and them, then you can be happy. Perhaps you believe you know best, perhaps it’s that you believe they can make you feel happy, perhaps you’re trying to live up to their expectations, perhaps you believe you will miss out on something if you don’t control it all:
“The world will fall apart if I let go for even a second!”
So you struggle and control and strain and oh boy …
All for what? The impossible task of control.
Other people will show you exactly how much of a micro-manager you are, especially when you come face to face with another control freak. Children - those little bundles of joy are little bundles of uncontrollable unpredictability, aren’t they?
They all can be your greatest teachers, especially your loved ones. Because they push all your buttons. They don’t do what you want them to do. What you need them to do. What you know best.
Control will show you exactly when you are wrapped up in a future, externally caused happiness.
The type of happiness that goes: “I will be happy when …” You know? When this happens and that happens, when she stops doing that, when he does what I want him to do ...
Seeing your control is actually super freeing.
You can see where you depend on someone or something to make you happy, and then can choose to be happy (or simply content, but definitely the opposite of stressed and struggling) all by yourself, just because.
Control - give it up, for a moment. Just for now. Be fully present with this, with me, just for now. Stop, fully tune in. Take a deep breath. Give everything else up, just for now.
There - the world didn’t end did it?
Sorry. Didn’t mean to be that sarcastic, but it’s nice isn’t it? Like a mini-mini-holiday - and you can take those whenever you want.
It's your choice.
Stay awesome, OK?
Of course, this is not an excuse to abandon your responsibilities and commitments.
But it is an invitation to see how you’re making life so hard for yourself and everyone around you. How your choice to try and control the uncontrollable is driving you to an early grave.
You can take the hands off the wheel much much more than what you are doing, and everything will be fine and you will enjoy life so much more. Promise.
Any you know what? If you’d like to really be free of such habits and things, here's a little thing that is FREE and will help you go beyond control super quick: