If you’re like me it seems like you weren’t born with a ton of self-confidence (which is not true at all, but we'll get to that).
You get caught up in those voices in your head that are doubting and anxious - they seem quite real, a lot of the time.
These voices stop you doing stuff, don’t they? From saying the thing you want to say, from getting out and doing those things, from being seen.
It’s frustrating, at least it can be.
I can’t count the number of times I’ve gone over and over what I should have said or what I should have done. Torturing myself long after the event has passed.
Though I worked out how to get around it.
You see, there are two different versions of you. One of those versions has no issues with confidence, doubt, anxiety, worry - any of that. They simply don’t exist. Why? This version of you isn’t trying to be someone else. It isn’t trying to live up to anyone’s expectations, it isn’t concerned with what anyone else thinks, it isn't trying to do "it" right.
It is what it is, nothing to prove, nothing to hide. No masks, no roles, no presenting of false images, just 100% authentic you.
You have that already - you are that already - and that is the whole purpose of something like the Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension. To live as that version of you more and more.
When you practice Ascension those limiting programs of doubt, worry, fear - and that’s what they are, just programs - simply run out of juice. They stop stopping you. Which is a wonderful state of affairs, because then it's easier to practice saying what you know you want to say.
I think I’ve written about this before (if I haven’t, I should have!), from the carefree version of you comes the first thoughts. The doubting program comes in with the second and third thoughts - “I can’t say that!” which overrides the first - wise - thoughts.
Then there’s the question that I personally know well, and see a lot around, “How do I …”
As in “How do I ask for a raise/time off?”, “How do I ask that girl/boy out?”, “How do I ask for what I want?”, “How do I stand up for myself?”. Such self-torture through trying to work out the “best” way of asking for something.
The simple answer seems to be you just have to do it.
You just have to practice opening your mouth and speaking, asking for what you want, speaking those first thoughts.
There’s a time and a place for everything, yes, but what I’ve found is usually the time and the place is when you and the other are together and the first thoughts come in. Right there, open your mouth.
Just be that great version of you - practice your Ascension - and speak. I promise it gets easier.
What I know for sure is the thinking about it is the torture. The doing? Not so bad really, at all.
Go well!
Arjuna
PS.
No idea about Ascension? Here's a wonderful list that I put together about how to be more mindful in your daily life - 108 practical ways of living beyond those programs, making sure they don't take over.
Get your free copy here: