However for some reason this morning has been the day of grumpy buggers.
They are in my face today, oh boy!
All just curt and snappy and “why Arjuna why?” and all the rest.
“What did I do wrong?”
That ^^^ little voice used to eat me alive.
I used to run myself ragged over thinking and falling over myself believing their reaction was ALL my fault.
Trouble is, that voice was more than just about wanting to help people be happy -
Fundamentally it’s about wanting to be liked.
^^^ That is a big one, isn't it? ^^^
Although I still love to make people happy,
And I like to be liked
I’ve recognised that I can’t make all of the people happy all of the time.
I’ve done the running around trying to make people like me all of the time too,
And I can’t.
Try as I might.
Which is such an easier place to live from.
I know I’m not perfect and I make mistakes -
If that makes people grumpy then I do try and make it up to them,
But I’ve seen that the only person I can be responsible for is myself.
And that takes a load off my shoulders,
Trying to be responsible for everyone else’s happiness and trying to be liked is a recipe for exhaustion and stress …
I know a lot of people do this -
Their own happiness depends on someone else’s response.
It’s hard work. Really tough - impossible actually.
But getting over that?
You have to see that little thought pattern that means you feel responsible for their happiness …
As well as the underlying cause of NEEDING someone to like you.
You have to see when you starting to think about this,
And distract yourself from getting caught up in it -
Get out of your head and get present to this moment.
When I was starting out in this game I used to use my breath a lot -
Taking some deep breaths is a wonderful anchor,
It stops the head building up momentum.
And that’s the key - catching it early.
So being aware of your tendencies is a great thing.
A huge step forward, you know?
Awareness is a great great thing.
It's a HUGE thing, stopping feeding that NEED to be liked.
Huge - because it changes all of your relationships.
It really does.
I have a free guide to getting rid of all this limiting patterns that cause you stress, struggle and unhappiness.
There's 108 ideas - but don't worry - it's not an effortful read.
It's simple enough to scan, deep enough to return to.
Head here if you'd like a copy:
Questions? Just ask!