When you've gone through a stressful situation the most important thing is to let it go as soon as you can. The sooner the better. Let go of all the mental reviewing of what just happened. Just don't even get started on that track.
Tough times mean you have to stay present otherwise the critic in your head is going to give you a good kicking. What happens is we stumble through an argument, for example, and then we look back and replay the whole thing with what we "should" have done or said.
Hindsight is a valuable thing, but you did what you did and that is that.
If you need to go apologise you go and say sorry, but again, the most important thing is to let it go. Know that you did your best, give it another shot next time. You can't do anything about it, so give yourself a break and start fresh.
There is no value in endless recycling of the past - but that is what will happen unless you are super present, alive to this moment.
Also...
Don’t be afraid of emotion. The inner critic can judge us harshly for being emotional. But anger, for example, can tell us a lot about ourselves, about what is important.
Don’t assume calmness and happiness means never getting excited or passionate.
The only problem with something like anger is when we don’t say what we need to say. Then it builds and builds and really explodes. When you feel it coming be very aware and see what it is all about. Be as clear as possible with your communications, don’t hold back what you need to say, and then… let it go.
You’re not going to master this straight away, but keep doing it and you will. Treat everything in life as one big journey of self-discovery, of what works best for you. Throw the critic and perfection out the window and embrace the idea of constant improvement.
You’re always going to discover more about yourself, and sometimes the tough times show you the most. The best attitude when you see one coming? Say to yourself: “Excellent! Bring it on.”
Have fun with this, ok?