How do you stay calm and present in stressful situations? Part two.

When you've gone through a stressful situation the most important thing is to let it go as soon as you can. The sooner the better. Let go of all the mental reviewing of what just happened. Just don't even get started on that track.

Tough times mean you have to stay present otherwise the critic in your head is going to give you a good kicking. What happens is we stumble through an argument, for example, and then we look back and replay the whole thing with what we "should" have done or said.

Hindsight is a valuable thing, but you did what you did and that is that.

If you need to go apologise you go and say sorry, but again, the most important thing is to let it go. Know that you did your best, give it another shot next time. You can't do anything about it, so give yourself a break and start fresh.

There is no value in endless recycling of the past - but that is what will happen unless you are super present, alive to this moment.

Also...

Don’t be afraid of emotion. The inner critic can judge us harshly for being emotional. But anger, for example, can tell us a lot about ourselves, about what is important.

Don’t assume calmness and happiness means never getting excited or passionate.

The only problem with something like anger is when we don’t say what we need to say. Then it builds and builds and really explodes. When you feel it coming be very aware and see what it is all about. Be as clear as possible with your communications, don’t hold back what you need to say, and then… let it go.

You’re not going to master this straight away, but keep doing it and you will. Treat everything in life as one big journey of self-discovery, of what works best for you. Throw the critic and perfection out the window and embrace the idea of constant improvement.

You’re always going to discover more about yourself, and sometimes the tough times show you the most. The best attitude when you see one coming? Say to yourself: “Excellent! Bring it on.”

Have fun with this, ok?

How do you stay calm and present in stressful situations? Part one.

The crucial thing is that the more present you can be ordinarily, the easier it’s going to be when things gets tough. You'll notice yourself losing your cool and be able to step back and gain some objectivity sooner and sooner.

The more you prioritise your peace, the more you can see it slipping - the more you can tell when you aren’t prioritising it.

Gather to yourself an eyes closed practice - some time and tools to really get familiar with presence and inner stillness. Let that be the foundation upon which you structure your day, so you remember to be present and aware when you are out and about with your eyes open.

The regular practice develops a baseline of happiness and calm within you so it becomes super obvious when you stray from it. It just gets easier and easier to return. It actually gets to a point where peace comes and gets you when you leave it. Which, needless to say, is pretty cool.

From here life becomes more and more enjoyable. The saying “do you want to right or do you want to be happy?” becomes crystal clear to you in terms of your choices, and so you lose it less and less, just because it's not worth it any more.

"Hmmmm... do I want to be right or be happy?"... Happy please!

So don't let up on your practice when the going is good. Don't assume you don't need it. Just do it and get so familiar with inner stillness so that you never leave, even when the house is burning down around you.

Being calm and clear starts with a choice, now. If you're consistent with that choice, being consistently calm and clear comes quickly, and easily, and simply.

More on this though, so stay tuned for part two...

The way to happiness, part 2.

Happiness. Why are so many people searching for happiness? Why doesn’t it come naturally to humans? Well, it does, actually. It is your true nature to be happy. It is very easy to be continually happy when you know how. Honestly, I speak the truth as one who has experienced unhappiness, stress, times of depression, anxiety, fear, all of those things that we don’t like. If I can find constant happiness, you can.

Life does not need to be ups and downs. That is not part of being human, it doesn’t have to be part of the deal. Suffering is not necessary, I promise.

If you like that idea, then you are in the right place. Just assuming it as a simple possibility is the first step to experiencing complete happiness and contentment, in every aspect of your life.

Last blog (see here if you missed it) I talked about how people expect that people, things, possessions, careers etc., etc., will make them happy. It’s not true. Make happiness an inside job, make it about not getting but being. Happiness is an attitude. First be happy, make it a foundation, then live your life.

The second reason why you aren’t continuously happy is this:

• You don’t make it a priority.

What is the most important thing to you? If you could give your loved ones one thing, anything at all, what would you give them?

Everyone I ask this question tell me some version of happiness. When it comes down to it, happiness is the most important thing to everyone. Everyone just wants to be happy.

But they don’t prioritise it.

It is well down the list of things to do.

Their lists are full of things to get and to achieve and to do, and then, right at the bottom, last on the list, when they have time to get to it, is to be happy.

Only because we believe after I do x, y or z, then I can be happy. Work first, finish things to do, and then be happy.

Nope, doesn’t work, you never get there.

If you are interested in being happy you have to be like an Olympic athlete of happiness.

Focus.

Make happiness the core of everything you do. Make it first and the middle and last. Train to be happy. Make everything about internal happiness.

Then, and only then, it comes and gets you. You realise that you are happy for no reason at all. Nothing can give you happiness, you just choose it. Nothing can take it away either. You prefer things go a certain way, but either way you are happy.

Practice. You need to prioritise and practice. Close your eyes every day and meditate. Keep it simple and joyful. If you want it simple, and joyful then learn the Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension. Fastest path to happiness ever. I promise.

Be happy!