Two (ex) friends shouting at each other in the street

I was waiting for Sumati just this morning, as I am prone to do.

Sitting on the street corner, nonchalantly - with nonchalance.

Do you ever do that?

When you read a word over and over so it becomes ridiculous? A non-word?

But, there I was … waiting.

Exciting, I know, but there is a good point to all this.

I happened to overhear a rather loud and animated discussion between two (perhaps quickly becoming ex-) friends.

“But you SHOULD know …!”

Ahh … expectations.

The curse of any relationship.

The curse that you place upon yourself.

When you expect you set yourself up for a disaster.

Expectations are rarely discussed, are they?

You never make them clear -

So how can the other party know what you want of them?

Clarity is so important, indeed.

First place to start. Second thing is this:

Expectations and your peace are poles apart.

You see - all expectations mean you’re looking for something precisely.

When does life give you precisely what you want?

Rarely, indeed.

Therefore insisting on an exact experience is always going to cause you misery, at some stage.

Expectations mean you are looking through a filter of “what should be”,

Rather than simply and innocently taking in what actually is happening.

Take meditation and mindfulness -

You expect something to happen, and everything EXCEPT what you expect happens.


So you throw it all away, because meditation and mindfulness “doesn’t work”.

It does work, it’s just that no one took the time to sit you down and tell you what to expect.

You’re so focussed on what should be happening,

You miss what is actually happening.

And that there is the beauty of meditation -

It allows you to engage with life AS IT IS …

In all its weird perfection,

Not as you insist it should be.

Which is about as much fun as banging your head against a wall.

Moral of the story?

If you want an end to struggle and stress and self-inflicted pain -

And have easy, clear relationships while living freshly, without preconceptions:

Throw away your expectations.

The faster you do it, the faster you will become more effective in, and enjoy all of, your life.

Job done!

Go well,



If you want to overcome expectations,

To live “innocently” - which has nothing to do with naivety, and everything to do with Aliveness.

To learn how you can practically be more mindful ...

Here's a free guide so you can do just that: