I don’t know anyone who isn’t afraid of anything. And if they say they aren’t, then well, they are either enlightened, or lying.
There is a difference, of course, between being lost in fear, and feeling fear, "but doing it anyway."
The fact is fear is a huge and unwelcome part of many people’s lives. Mine too.
Or at least it used to be. Since learning to tweak my relationship with fear, things have changed.
I remember a pivotal moment. It was a presentation in front of about 200 people, and I fluffed and froze and shook and stuttered my way through.
“You idiot!” the voice of criticism was yelling at me during and after. I felt so low. I just wanted to get out of the room as quick as possible.
But you know what? I felt kind of excited too.
I figured if the voice of doubt and self-violence didn’t like what I was doing then, perversely, I was heading in the right direction.
You see, I’ve figured out the voice like to keep me small. Safe from threat.
Yet that safe and seemingly comfortable life means I don’t do the things I want to do, or say the things I need to. Then they all regurgitate and rumble around inside my head, bothering me for days, messing up my sleep, and ironically, providing the voice with more ammunition – even when not doing or saying was its idea!
So I was kind of excited, and a little proud too, even in the middle of some pretty heavy self-criticism.
It meant that I tried something I was afraid of, and I hadn't let fear, or the voice, win. I knew I would try it again, I would prepare a little bit better, practice a little more, and slowly but surely, master the overwhelm and trepidation and the out-and-out terror.
I've also learnt that fear can be an awesome indicator when something is important to you.
If you weren’t feeling any fear/uncertainty/doubt that you’re up to the task then it would not be important at all to you. You would just shrug, not bothered. You see?
If you find yourself procrastinating, leaving that one job or conversation for “a better time,” it’s a great sign that perhaps you need to do it as soon as possible.
Don’t wait for fear and doubt to go, just get cracking in that direction.
Everything that you’ve done that is worth while has required a leap into the unknown. Everything. The sooner you jump, the sooner you can get going.
You can re-programme your whole response to fear, and perhaps it’s the greatest thing you can learn to do. Because then you’re free. Free from the voice, free from negativity, free to live without a handbrake in your own head.
Fear can be there, uncertainty can be there, the voice can be there, you just ignore it.
The secret is to head towards fear, not away. And get as present as possible. Fear is always a future negative thought. It’s always a strong focus on “What if things go wrong here?”
The enlightened have no fear, because they never entertain it. They never lose themselves to it, because they never leave this moment in time.
“That’s all very well, but what do I do until I’m enlightened?” you may ask.
Just start anyway. Even small steps along the road give big benefits, more or less immediately.
Freedom from fear? Start by getting really present, and curious.
Never give an inch to fear. It can not and will not help. Hold fast to the stillness where fear does not exist, and live. Do and say those things. Holding back is never a path of satisfaction.
Good work!
Arjuna
PS.
Fear is such a personal thing. Don’t let anyone else tell you what you should and should be afraid of. Take it as an invitation to grow, to overcome your own fear, but don’t let anyone give you any shoulds.
I’m a big fan of fear. That doesn’t sound right, I don’t like the feeling of it (so when I AM feeling it, it’s an excellent reminder to get present and get curious), AND it’s become a really important indicator of importance.
There’s a bunch of small, easy to practice things you can do to become more present and curious. Have a look here for them:
https://www.arjunaishaya.com/108-ways-full-content