You know the troll that lives in your own head? Far worse than the ones on the internet. Or the ones that live under bridges.
It is so easy to fall into harsh self-criticism. Don’t do it. The more you listen, the more it talks.
You think it’s useful feedback, but it really isn’t. It’s just self-abuse.
The times when I’ve been feeling really bad about myself have all been when I’ve done something that hasn't met my standards. I know I let myself down and perhaps hurt someone else.
That sucks, right?
It is such a cliche, but everyone does the best they can at the time with what they know.
I certainly hope that’s true, at least I hope it’s true for me.
Whether it’s true or not, I see “doing the best you can” is a means of accepting what happened, accepting so you can move on. Of not listening to the troll. The troll does not accept.
After acceptance what you need to do is make sure you don’t keep making the same mistakes.
You learn from that, if you want - get five minutes, sit (when you’re in a clear and objective space) and write all the lessons down, and then hit the reset button. Clear the plate and go again:
“What can I do now?”
One of the biggest mistakes you will ever make is listening to the troll. It is one that humans as a whole do a lot, and repeatedly do.
It’s nasty and de-motivating. It will keep you in the past forever recycling mistakes (actual and totally imagined ones). It will create all kinds of dramatic futures. It will stop you learning and getting on with making fresh choices.
You gotta stay present and away from your troll. Don’t let it get a grip on you.
The inner game is you versus your troll. He may win a point here and there, but don’t let him win the match.