Feeling Masochistic? You're Doing It Wrong

One of the things that seems to happen in this self-improvement lark, A lark that begins when you realise you want to bring the best version of yourself to life more often (perhaps even ALL the time) -

Is harshness and being so serious.

There is this idea that growing involves hardship and at least a degree of torture.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for adventures (in the outdoors especially) where you come up against your comfort zone.

That sense of challenge and uncertainty of “can I do this?”, of hearing your mind squeak and carrying on anyway.

But there is always a sense of JOY in that (for me).

When it stops being fun, I stop.

What’s the point if it’s not?

I wasn't always like that though. I used to believe that harshness was necessary to conquer my messy, chaotic mind.

I thought I SHOULD do x, y, z to get what I wanted -

(Turns out I was wrong. Luckily I found out sooner rather than later, huh?)

Yet if you look around at some of the programmes and practices out there there’s the same idea:

It all started back in the day with walking on hot coals or snapping an arrow with the point held against your throat,

And now has gotten really quite extreme -

Where it ranges from sleep deprivation all the way through to some quite full on SAS torture training experience weekends.

There’s a significant section of the meditation and yoga community that have a similar mindset.

The bed of nails may no longer be around but there's still the idea that unless it’s really hard work, “you’re messing around”.

Some of these guys become so serious, so rigid in themselves, even harming themselves becoming hardline vegans when it doesn't suit their bodies, becoming all grey skinned and wrinkly.

Here’s the thing:

I know there's something in everything for someone, but please trust me when I say harshness will not bring you closer to a better version of you.

You don't need to do half the stuff people say you NEED to, to get the results you want.

Whatever you choose to do, don’t lose your sense of joy, your sense of humour.

Your meditation and mindset practice for example.

If you are straining and efforting, if you’re sitting on the floor in some yoga position and it’s uncomfortable …

If you’re forcing yourself to stop your mind, being aggressive to yourself, getting impatient and frustrated …

If it’s as fun as a trip to the dentist …

You won’t do it for very long.

You’re not going to practice it day in day out - because it’s not easy nor joyful nor rewarding.

The momentum won’t develop.

And you’ll just add more stress into your nervous system.

^^^ That is one of the whole reasons for meditation ^^^

To release all the stress and strain that you’ve built up over the years.

NOT to torture yourself all over again.

Harshness of any kind is not necessary.

You don’t need to dominate your lesser tendencies, I promise.

That kind of attitude is so counter productive.

Just having the courage and boldness to candidly look at yourself and make different choices is heroic enough.

One of the true motors for change AND an indication that you’re doing things right?

Maximum enjoyment of each and every moment.


Want some?

Opt in here, I'll send you a super cool, super simple, super powerful meditation practice you can get going on straight away, AND we'll continue the conversation about all this:


Have a great day out there. Have some fun!! Arjuna


Commitment is crucial, harshness not.

Gentle persistence is the key, always.

If you’re not having fun then find out why not.

Makes sense, huh? -