All of these things are just habits.
They are something you’ve learned to do in response to things that you don’t like. The more you react in a certain way, the stronger that “way” gets and so the easier it is to respond like that.
It becomes a habit, a reaction.
It’s a bit of a bottomless cycle, a slippery slope.
But the good news is that it is just a habit.
You can create another habit.
The even better news is that you don’t need to work out why you get stressed, or anxious, or not respond to life in the way that you want -
Just make a different choice.
A habit is simply a strong pathway in the brain.
Want a new habit?
Make another pathway. Do something else that takes you in another direction.
A little known key to life is what you put your attention on, grows.
The more you do it, the more the new habit becomes stronger and more “slippery” for your attention, the old one less so. You become incapable of behaving like you used to, simply because all your attention is on the new way of being.
Happiness and calm is way more attractive to the mind than stress.
If you give it a chance it will become your default.
Good news indeed. I believe it was Aristotle who said:
“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.”
In this way, happiness and peace is a lot like going to the gym -
You don’t need to believe push ups will make you stronger and healthier, you just need to do them - with good form and regularly - and the results are obvious.
Regular practice, then, is everything to being "happy calm".
What kind of practice?
Meditation - all the way.
Because it retrains and rewires your brain to stop giving so much attention to what causes you stress and unhappiness.
It makes you present, it makes you more positive, it makes you "anti-fragile".
You need to give it enough time to create a new habit, for it to become stronger ...
But the more you do it, the more your life changes and so the more you keep wanting to do it.
It becomes self-propelling and motivating.
But you need to start. And you need the commitment to follow through.
Grab a buddy and make a pact, set aside a time each day. Just close your eyes and do it. Remind yourself to see everything as being half-full. Be as present in this moment as much as you can.
If you need any assistance in this, let me know. I know some good ways.
For real I do. In fact if you’re serious and want a super simple, yet very powerful meditation technique you can get going on today, head here:
Happiness is indeed much easier than exercise.
No sweat, no aches and pains, no weird diets.
You can wear your lycra to meditate in, if you want, if it makes you feel like you’re doing something.
But really you need nothing.
You can meditate in the bath if you like (though a rubber ducky helps).
Or even at work …
All you need is a means of bringing your attention back and refocusing.
Ooh - here’s one great means: