My mother would often talk about “doing Christmas differently this year”.
Then Christmas would come along and it would seem like it was very similar to last Christmas, and the Christmas before that, which was identical to the Christmas before that.
One might say everything was the same, exactly the same.
I now understand her intention to do things differently, maybe it was in regard to the volume of eating and drinking, or the doing everything despite offers of help (the answer of “no, its fine”), or (related) inviting those people around who never even did a dish or even offered to contribute in any sense.
It was the intention to celebrate it on her terms, but then what I think happened was she fell under pressure to what “should” happen.
And so the “should” won over what made her fully enjoy the day.
Are you under any pressure to do it a particular way?
And where does the pressure come from? Within or without? That is an important realisation.
Most of the pressure for my mum came from within. Because it was “tradition” and it was supposed to be this way. Everyone else didn’t care, we wanted her to have a good time more than anything else.
For me this Christmas I know there is pressure from without to have turkey this year, again. Because it’s “tradition”. Now this is a small compromise that I can deal with. And we’re getting in a goose as well. Haha!
But I have friends who are vanishing to a tropical island because of too many years of entertaining family who never ever give anything back, and are probably just generally bad company as well.
And I applaud them.
Why not do life on your terms? In consultation with your partner, of course. Very important point.
All of this is important, because it’s part of living the best life you can.
Being whole assed is crucial.
Sure, sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do for the sake of diplomacy and good relations, but see clearly where you are making yourself do something you really don’t want to.
Make a plan of what you want to happen, even if it’s just down to how much you want to eat and drink or who will actually do what on the day. Factor in what kind of variance you will accept, and then go, put it in action.
A scheme is necessary, simply because otherwise what is comfortable and convenient takes over. You do what you have always done.
Any change, any living of “whole-assedness”, needs to develop momentum to overcome whatever half-assery is happening at the moment.
And why not?
Why not have a fantastic time? Why not enjoy every moment?