The one counter-intuitive thing that actually helps when you’re deep in the downs

I appreciate that sometimes life isn’t that rosy. I know that something, no matter what you do, you just get stuck in a funk - a bad mood, a depression, a whatever.

I know that.

Got hit by something yesterday, a big case of the grumps.

For a while I tried to get rid of it, but it just wasn’t going. Right after I wrote about being full of joy. Ha! - The universe does have a sense of humour: “try this one on for size, smart arse!”

I used to get this all the time, like a heaviness, a depression, a pointlessness. The mood would stick around for days and days, my mind just full of negativity and “can’t be bothered - what is the point?”

Back then it was hard to see anything else. It was not nice, to tell you the truth.

Now it’s different, I have more tools, more perspective, more support.

Yesterday was funny (well, it’s funny now) - I threw everything in my toolbox at it, and no go.

It wouldn’t move.

As much as I talk about choice, as much as I know about choice, sometimes the only choice you have is to do nothing.

To completely do nothing at all. Not to change a thing.

If you’ve tried shifting a bad mood through choice, by appreciating and being grateful, by giving, by being present and breathing deep, by talking it through with someone you trust, by doing some exercise, by all the little tricks that work to take your attention away from those thoughts…

If you’ve done all of that and it’s still there, then the way out is just simply to accept it.

Stop trying to change it. Stop trying for something else. Just be totally ok being grumpy or down in the dumps, or whatever it is you’re feeling.

The worst thing is the feeling that “I shouldn’t be feeling like this”. Well, you are. Pressuring yourself to feel differently doesn’t help when you’re deep in.

Here’s the critical thing - don’t push it away but also don’t get all wrapped up in it either. Recognise that it’s going on and just let it run. Let those thoughts be there; just don’t believe them, don’t take them seriously.

It won’t last forever. It’ll change.

I chatted it through with my fiancee - talking always helps no matter what - and she’s very good at laughing at me (what’s that about?), and so she laughed, told me to stop trying to be Mr Perfect, and laughed some more. So I told her to take her laugh and stick it somewhere else, and just got on with being grumpy.

As soon as I fully accepted it, it lasted all of an hour. And by then I couldn’t care less whether it had gone or not. Came back in the night but I couldn’t be bothered caring, once again. Couldn’t care, no stickiness. Very interesting, I think.

It’ll change super quick if you don’t try and change it. Funny huh? The more you try to get rid of it, the stickier it becomes. The more you think it shouldn’t be here, the stickier it is.

Accept it all, open your arms and allow.

Do what you need to - maybe a long walk by yourself, a bath, a bit of time on the couch if you can get it.

Just be patient, loving to yourself, and let it unfold.

It is only a problem if you make it a problem.

Good luck, especially if you’re feeling not so good. It can be there, but it doesn’t need to dominate.

Let me know how you get on.

Take it easy, okay? Everything changes.