So said a man recently in the news who obviously dislikes mayonnaise ...
And I’m with him.
Mayo? No thanks. It’s a bit like whipped cream. That I do not like, no I do not. Not at all. It’s just too … cloying. All pervasive. It takes over. It is indeed a tyrant. Now clotted cream on the other hand … that there is nectar of Gods.
(In the picture - note the evil mayonnaise lurking in the background, plotting ... and to be childish, for sure, do you see the brand? Of course. I rest my case)
However - I'm not here to chat about condiments or scone toppings.
I want to talk about complaining ... because it works.
The above man estimates politely (key word) complaining about the mayonnaise being thrust upon his food in restaurants, even when he has clearly stated that he does not want such a thing, means he has been given around £1000 a year in free dishes or discounts as way of apology.
Yet so often we put up with something that is unacceptable. Have you had that? Of course you have. You clearly state “x” and you get “y”, and yet “I don’t want to make a fuss” you might say.
On holiday in Greece I heard a man saying the exact same thing while concerned bystanders were trying to help him with the (small) heart attack he was having.
"I don’t want to make a fuss, I’ll just die quietly here in the corner …"
Or someone treats you in a way that is appalling and you think it’s your fault, or that it doesn’t matter, it’s not important, you’ll just let it go … and yet clearly it does matter as it eats you alive inside your own head for the next 3 days.
Complaining, or having the courage to attempt to change the things you can, is a great thing, a wonderful thing, an important thing.
How will anyone get better if they don’t know what you feel about the matter? How will your life be if you never stand up for yourself and/or do those things that may well be within your power?
Indeed - it needs to be tempered with the serenity to accept that sometimes, perhaps often times, people won’t change. But at least you’ve spoken up for yourself in a timely manner.
Maybe you are given a free meal, maybe someone will shout at you.
What I know for sure is sometimes the truer the “complaint”, sometimes the more extreme the response from someone can be. When something hurts, sometimes that's a great indicator that it’s true. Ouch. You’re not as good as you think you are, but - as I said above - how will you improve if you don’t know?
Now this is all very different from whining and whinging.
That is a focus on what is wrong and is so boring and tedious. Be very careful with that. It means you’ve become a victim to what you think is wrong, and aren’t doing anything about it except for letting your trap run.
Do something or don’t, but just drop it. Whining is no way to live.
So have the courage to change, and the serenity to accept.
But how do you find the wisdom to know the difference?
Well - that’s where life gets exciting. That’s where the spiritual rubber meets the road of life, as a wise man once said.
Wisdom can only come when you tune into the need of this moment in time. Not the last moment, but this moment, here now.
When you do that you are given wisdom. And it’s all about playing and exploring and seeing too. Don’t be afraid to make a “wrong” decision. You’ll be paralysed that way, too scared to do anything, and that’s no fun.
Just tune in and see what this moment needs. Alrighty?
Go well! Arjuna
PS. It always comes back to now, doesn’t it?
All of life, all of it - here, now. Get good at living here and now, and all stress, overwhelm, negativity and whining fall away.
Peace, clarity, effectiveness, contentment and fun reign.
Here's 108 ways to get super present and mindful and stay cool, calm and collected: