What I know about relationships is little. In relationships matters I am a complete amateur. A willing amateur though - I realised some years ago that people didn't have good relationships by mistake, or even destiny.
They, like all things, require work.
Good news though. Amateur though I remain, I’ve been looking at this one for a while,
studying, observing and taking notes,
and this is what I reckon contributes to a good relationship with your partner, with anyone. Even the shopkeeper down the road.
These are the things that I need to do to make sure I have a great relationship.
I'm sure there are more, but here's what I got this morning:
- taking time out every day to close my eyes and Ascend - or meditate. If you don’t know how, it can be as simple as sitting comfortably for 10 minutes and noticing your breath.
- making sure I get enough sleep at night
- exercising regularly
- doing my deep breathing practice
- being consistently, actively and outwardly grateful for all the people and things in my life
- doing the things that make me happy and excited about life
- choosing to be content; making this the basis for all things
- knowing that only I can make myself happy.
You see, when I’m functioning well, the relationship functions well. Hmmm… Interesting, huh?
Then comes nurturing the relationship:
- being active in making sure it’s going well, that it’s growing
- making sure my fiancee knows how much I love her. Going out of my way to appreciate who she is and what she does. Doing that as much as possible.
- supporting her to do the things that make her happy and excited about life
- when it comes to things that annoy me, before I open my mouth making sure it’s “big” enough to worth mentioning. Why criticise when it is just something I can get over?
- but communicating as soon and as clearly as I can when I really need to say something. and then letting it go, completely.
- communicating, and then communicating some more.
- giving her my full attention when she wants to talk
- allowing her to be herself, completely and absolutely.
- spending time together, every day, just chatting.
- setting aside date nights, scheduling them if need be
- giving and giving and then giving some more
I'm sure there's more you can come up with, but basically any relationship has the common denominator as you.
You can do so much to nurture any relationship. It just requires the willingness to give completely, and talk, and have fun.
As my brother sagely once commented; "Happy wifey, happy lifey".