You CAN affect what other people think of you. You see:
A Harvard Psychologist says being present means other people think three things about you:
- you are believable - you are confident without being arrogant - you are seen to be honest - your verbal and non-verbal communication is in sync.
Isn’t that nice?
Here's the link if you want to have a quick shifty yourself:
Now this study was done by the woman that invented the “power pose” - a way of standing adopted by politicians and corporate peeps en mass for a while there that increased positive hormone levels and confidence ... but actually there wasn’t a lot of science behind it.
However - never let a lack of science get in your way.
If you are feeling low, sick, depressed - try standing up as tall as you can, roll your shoulders back and lift your chin. Makes a world of difference to your inner state.
Back to the main point though -
I know Harvard hasn’t worked out how to measure a bunch of different “effects” on other people of you being present, but it is true:
When you are present other people notice. It’s a rare thing, really it is. Because not many people are that present. They aren't.
Not many people truly listen without formulating a reply at the same time. Or maybe they’re thinking about that thing at work, or what Jo Bobbalina said to them this morning. Or maybe they’re just plain old on their phone. Still amazes me when I head out to the restaurant or pub of how many people are not communicating, just flicking.
People spend more time paying attention to their own thoughts than to their outside world. Harvard hasn't measured it yet, but that is true, believe me.
So when you get present, people notice. Actually - The greatest thing you can give anyone is your full attention. It changes everything.
Try it - with your kids, your partner, with the people you meet in your day. Give them your full attention and see what happens. Let me know!
(The picture is of my favourite stock image girl showing you one way of fully listening to someone - why not try that!? Heh heh)
And the great thing is for you: You won’t miss a single moment of your life. Which is kind of a big deal, considering here it is, right in front of you. You’re fully present to your life, not lost in your head thinking about it.
You show up for your life! How about that then?
Awesome - go well, Arjuna
PS. Show up! Here’s how to get rid of those habits and patterns which mean you don’t show up. And it's free to you because you are awesome: