Harvard says here's how you can change how people think of you

I few days ago I wrote about how you can't control what other people think about you.Turns out I was wrong - ha! I love it when I'm wrong.

You CAN affect what other people think of you. You see:

A Harvard Psychologist says being present means other people think three things about you:

- you are believable - you are confident without being arrogant - you are seen to be honest - your verbal and non-verbal communication is in sync.

Isn’t that nice?

Here's the link if you want to have a quick shifty yourself:

https://uk.finance.yahoo.com/news/harvard-psychologist-says-success-situation-153500508.html

Now this study was done by the woman that invented the “power pose” - a way of standing adopted by politicians and corporate peeps en mass for a while there that increased positive hormone levels and confidence ... but actually there wasn’t a lot of science behind it.

However - never let a lack of science get in your way.

If you are feeling low, sick, depressed - try standing up as tall as you can, roll your shoulders back and lift your chin. Makes a world of difference to your inner state.

Back to the main point though -

I know Harvard hasn’t worked out how to measure a bunch of different “effects” on other people of you being present, but it is true:

When you are present other people notice. It’s a rare thing, really it is. Because not many people are that present. They aren't.

Not many people truly listen without formulating a reply at the same time. Or maybe they’re thinking about that thing at work, or what Jo Bobbalina said to them this morning. Or maybe they’re just plain old on their phone. Still amazes me when I head out to the restaurant or pub of how many people are not communicating, just flicking.

People spend more time paying attention to their own thoughts than to their outside world. Harvard hasn't measured it yet, but that is true, believe me.

So when you get present, people notice. Actually - The greatest thing you can give anyone is your full attention. It changes everything.

Try it - with your kids, your partner, with the people you meet in your day. Give them your full attention and see what happens. Let me know!

(The picture is of my favourite stock image girl showing you one way of fully listening to someone - why not try that!? Heh heh)

And the great thing is for you: You won’t miss a single moment of your life. Which is kind of a big deal, considering here it is, right in front of you. You’re fully present to your life, not lost in your head thinking about it.

You show up for your life! How about that then?

Awesome - go well, Arjuna

PS. Show up! Here’s how to get rid of those habits and patterns which mean you don’t show up. And it's free to you because you are awesome:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

Needing attention?

Once upon a time I met a very very wise yoga teacher. He seemed different from all the others I had met simply because he seemed like he had nothing to prove. In an age of celebrity everyones, all the self-promotion on Instagram and Facebook and the rest, it seemed like he could care less about any of that.

He wasn’t a show off, he was just content to teach and be of service and be himself. He just loved teaching and helping, and yoga itself.

He didn’t need anyone’s adoration, he needn’t need much actually.

It’s kind of magnetic when someone doesn’t need anything from you, isn’t it? You just want to hang around them more, ironically.

But if you have young ones around you, teaching them to navigate this is so important, isn’t it?

They get so wrapped up with social media and what other people think of them, everything depends on that. Well, I’m guessing that’s the case, although I did read a study that said it was the case. I was like that for a long time into adulthood and I didn’t even have social media growing up. I just had a cardboard box. We knew how to make our own fun, by crikey!

But all this?

It begins with you. It doesn’t require you to do anything, beyond freeing yourself from the exact same thing:

Finding happiness and security within yourself first and foremost. Freeing yourself from needing anything from anyone - enjoying people but not being chained to them.

Then you are a living example of peace and acceptance for them. So they always have that kind of anchor to come home to, to connect with. So no matter how tough their heads get, they have you.

Makes sense? Working on yourself means you can make the biggest impact on the whole world.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Here's a practice for freeing yourself of needing anything - and enjoying everything - can be found here (and it's free):

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

Why NOT taking time for you is like a sushi train

I love sushi! Don't know about you, but it is one of the world's best foods. I once had sushi in Mexico and it came with grilled cheese and Jalapenos. Now that was unexpected. Now - what does this have to do with taking time for yourself? Well, read on:

The single hardest thing about life is simply stopping and sitting down. Resting? "Waste of time!" people think all the time.

It's crucial though - to switch off, to get off the hamster wheel of life, to give yourself a moment or two to reconnect, to get that half-step back, to get energy, enjoyment, perspective.

Now meditation? That is rest, supercharged. It really is. The practice itself (should) be simple and straight forward and relaxing, and as such, enjoyable (although there are some tough practices out there). It brings a wealth of benefits to all that practice.

However, even experienced meditators can have trouble just sitting down:  They’re on the go, things to see, people to do, and time is always short.

“It’s not the right time - I’ll do it later”.

I think people think there is no price to pay for keeping on pushing. Because the price is paid later you think you can keep delaying.

It’s just like one of those all you can eat sushi trains where the delicious sushi comes around time and time again, right under your nose.

You think “Another one? Why not? It’s only £3 for that plate”.

Yet by the time your waiter comes to tally up your bill, all those small bites of sushi add up to a mighty fine reckoning, don't they?

The bill you get, when it arrives, and surely it arrives because there is always a waiter taking count. And it's always huge! I'm always thinking "How can I ever possibly have eaten THAT much sushi?" But it's true.

Why not just pay "the bill" as you go?

There is no such time as the right time - you just have to make time.

But you have to, otherwise you’ll just be in the same mental loops, doing the same things, involved in the same negative, limiting patterns, sucked into stress and worry and anger. No peace of mind. No calm, clarity.

Take time, make time, make it part of your daily ritual. Do it and tell me how life is from there, ok?

Go well young grasshopper. There is life to be lived - not just survived, but lived well! Arjuna

PS. Here is an excellent way of setting up an “investment” so you will always have enough for the bills and extra to spend anytime you want and/or need. And it's free:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

When other people disapprove

When people disapprove, take you the wrong way, think you’re inappropriate or just plain old don’t get you … Other people, huh?

Unfortunately you can never make them see you as you would like to be seen. That would certainly be nice though wouldn’t it?

It is something that has really dogged me my whole life, what other people say, what other people think of me, what I think other people think of me ... all of that stuff … and it has led to such self-doubt and self-editing. Not being free to be seen in public, as it were.

Ever have that yourself? It’s one of the reasons why I learnt the Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension meditation. Because it gives me the ability to just not care. To go “Meh!” To see what I can control and what I can’t, and to focus on what I can do rather than worry about what I cannot.

(Above is a picture of you, when you do that. You shine you see, just like a lightbulb. The perfect picture, yet again!)

Beyond that the only thing that seems to "work" is the realisation that I don't want to not be seen, not be me any more. That it's too much hard work to try and guess what other people might misconstrue or find appropriate, and just to get used to being taken the wrong way from time to time.

It takes courage, but it gets easier the more I do it ... just "putting myself out there" as it were.

The biggest fear, I believe, is not failure, but failing, looking stupid in public. And yet on the other side of that fear is such relief and freedom.

I don’t have any real fix, no magic pill to make fear go away and never come back — just that I know from personal experience that it gets easier to deal with the more you deal with it. Being present helps enormously, for sure.

So, I don't know if that helps any this fine day, but I certainly hope so!

You are amazing, get going on this life of yours. Don't wait for approval from no one! And certainly try not to waste your time wondering what other people think.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Life is too short to worry about what other people think, don’t you think?

Good luck - soldier forth, and if I can assist? Please just ask

PPS. If you’d like to learn the means to reset all your worries about other people, and bolster your “Meh!” muscle leaving you free to care about the important things in your life, here’s some excellent ways, for free:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

Bullies

I’ve just gotten back from teaching on the Isle of Man. It was so great. An amazing land, it feels old. Incredible people there too - if I didn’t have a family to return to, I’d have stayed longer. Here’s a quote I found on the way home: __________

The worst bullies you will ever encounter in your life are your own thoughts. - Bryant H Mc Gill __________

Isn’t that true?

Coming to terms with the harshness of your own head is crucial not only in feeling relaxed, content, confident, but in doing anything. The greatest critic is in your own head and if you can overcome that, you’re set for life.

It’s hard enough to do anything, you don’t need a handbrake like your own mind.

The great thing is, you need do so little to overcome it.

Just see it ... “I see you!!” is the greatest thing for choice.  You do not need to change it, or make it go away. See it, and bring your attention to something else.

If it squeaks and tells you what a loser you are? How you’re never going to get there? All that rubbish it can come up with?

Just ignore. It hates being ignored! It hates it, because all of a sudden you’re not even caring. It loses all it’s power. It loses all it’s relevance to you in one simple stroke. OK?

You don't need to fight it. Just as the ocean need not fight the fish that swim through it, you don't need to fight the thoughts - whatever they may be - that swim through your head.

So make it that simple. See it. And meditation, regular practice is an incredibly useful tool for getting good at ignoring those bullies in your own brain. So why not sit down and give yourself even just 10 minutes?

Good job!

Go well Arjuna

PS. Here's some super simple, easy, relaxing, empowering tools for you. Free.

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

My bungy jump failure

One of the proudest moments of my life (in hindsight) was walking away from a bungy jump.

Darn computer wants to change it to “bunny jump.” That’s a whole new thing altogether, isn’t it?

I was just writing about the very thing below in my book. It is so close to being finished I can smell it.

Here's kind of an adapted extract. A longer read for you.

Before we get to jumping off bridges - let’s talk about risk for a moment.

Risk — and fear — is an extremely personal thing.

Risk is necessary to move forward in any part of life. Your mind hates risk, it likes comfort: “Don’t do anything!” it says “you might fail.”

Comfort is good, but inaction isn’t, really, is it? So moving forward in life involves getting comfortable with risk, with possibly failing, definitely with making mistakes and seeming a little silly, even stupid, sometimes.

But with risk, I’m not talking about being irresponsible, I’m not talking high-risk gambling with finances or life and limb. I’m talking about not being afraid of fear, of testing your comfort zone. What you will see, however, is the more you test your comfort zone, the more you will come to re-define what your mind suggests is irresponsible.

But understand the scale of that risk is completely up to you, don’t let anyone pressure you.

Anyhow — this is where the bunny, err, bungy, jump comes in.

I was terrified, but really wanted to do it. They strapped me in, did the count down, and … I didn’t jump. The operators counted again, again I hesitated. They mocked me, told me to “strap it on.” Needless to say, that wasn’t the right approach.

I was ashamed as I walked away, the jump untaken, but later I was proud of myself. Jumping off any height is a huge deal for me, and I wanted the experience to be something, for want of a better word, “beautiful.” The conditions weren’t right and so, despite the pressure, walking away was the only option.

Risk — and fear — is an extremely personal thing. Becoming more aware of your fears, your resistances, your limitations and choosing to do something even slightly different in any sphere of life, is a bold and beautiful thing. Truly.

Setting aside the fears of my mind and focusing on what needs to be done to get down a hard rapid in my kayak is a beautiful thing (to me), but so was over-coming my fears about commitment and fully committing to my now wife. That took a serious leap, just as running rapids does.

Being a father involves risk as well: “what if we’re doing it wrong?” There’s so much conflicting advice and personal experience out there about everything, not to mention your own intuition — you just have to choose a path that seems right to you. Sometimes you just have to leap. No matter what part of your life you meet fear or your perceived scale of your steps forward, give yourself a pat on the back for not backing down.

Well done for picking up the true invitation of fear and risking being curious about what is on the other side of that fear of failure, the fear of seeming silly or stupid to someone else.

It’s not easy, I know, but it is rewarding. Authenticity, not hiding, not being afraid any more.

So — take encouragement and inspiration from others, but not pressure. You may never throw yourself off a bridge with an elastic band attached, and you don’t have to if you don’t want to.

Risk something, commit to something, but do it your way.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. The greatest tool, to me, to come to terms with fear is meditation. You see it for what it is: your mind’s smoke and mirrors. Your mind’s attempt to keep you inactive and small and comfortable.

Here’s a free guide that will get you started: www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

Want to wake up the easy way or the hard way?

Lance Armstrong, that incredibly driven cyclist character, once said something about perspective and attitude. Now he’s is probably second best known for his recovery from cancer, but about that he said: _______ “I take nothing for granted. There are only good days and great days after chemotherapy.” _______

When you live through something has nasty as cancer and chemotherapy everything becomes a bonus.

And yet here we are with a pretty good life, and it can be so easy to fall into complaining, into taking things for granted, into focusing on what is wrong with our lives.

Isn’t it?

When you face challenges of any kind, they can serve you (as in being of service to your highest good) to highlight what is good and great about your life. Things formerly unnoticed start to come into focus. All of a sudden it can become clear how wonderful your life actually is, now, as it is.

And yet you can get through the average day without even appreciating how good it is just to be alive, to taste the coffee and breathe the air and walk across the Earth.

If I exist for one thing, it’s to remind people (and as I remind you, I remind myself) of how great things already are. The importance of, instead of waiting for a better moment, loving this one ...

Not so you don’t do anything, but so you can be of the greatest use to the world, free from stress or struggle or negativity.

Because you don’t want a wake up call like cancer. You don’t need it to wake up. Choose to wake up the easy way.

It just takes a little reminding now and then, it takes prioritising what is truly important to you, and practicing now, when the going is good.

The more you practice, the more you remember. The more you remember, the more you become what you practice. Doing this means overwhelm and negativity and feeling lost becomes a memory. A memory. You free yourself from all of that.

Alrighty?

Thank you for you, and go well! Arjuna

PS. Join me for some tools that centre you right in the heart of not taking anything for granted? That make all your days only good or great? Here's your free guide to get you started:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

Surviving your own family

So how was your Easter? Thought I’d say hi — I don’t have any message for you, nothing about rebirth, new starts, choosing to hit the reset button and begin again any time you like. Nothing like that. You can take something from that list if you like though, for sure!

I had a couple of days with extended family, just enjoying life. Nice to switch off and do nothing but read a book and chat and go for a walk (and a kayak - although cold, that’s always a joy!) and cook and hang out.

You know, I believe the ability to tune into this precise moment in time and to make the very most of what is in front of you — no matter what that may be — could be one of the most important skills you can ever develop.

To stop dwelling on a past that is gone and a future that is beyond your control, and to thrive now, independent of the circumstances you find yourself in — rather than surviving until your life looks the way you want it to is rare, very rare.

Where this becomes relevant to Easter, is family time. For some, family time together just means you get a bit edgy, tempers start to fray, arguments start or resurface - at the very least.

Amazing how family, like no one else, can poke and prod you and create such a reaction and emotion, isn’t it? So many people ask me about this.

You can’t choose your family, for sure, and so if you need to take time out from them for your own sanity, well I for one think that is a great idea.

What you CAN do, however, is simply love them exactly as they are. A lot of us try and change our partners and our family to a huge degree, and that is always a recipe for disaster — in my opinion.

Accepting and allowing goes a long way with family (with anyone actually) — and means YOU have a peaceful life. Instead of fighting and insisting they are a particular way, you stop struggling and can make the most of who they are.

Perhaps that means you don’t spend a lot of time with them. But for sure, loving them exactly as they are means you spend a ton less energy and time getting upset with them - and that is always the bottom line: you’re setting up your life so that you always enjoy this moment, and the people in it, to the maximum.

How can I enjoy this moment more?

If you find yourself a bit miserable, then so often the answer is to get out of the past and the future and make the most of what you do have, instead of insisting of what you should have.

It's a practice - you have to practice this. You can't just turn it on any more than I can just balance on my nose without practicing. OK?

And there is more to it than that, but for a cheeky blog that will suffice.

For a short “hello”, turns out I had something to say after all. How about that? Wonders never cease, do they?

You’re awesome, thank you for reading, and if there’s anything I can do for you, let me know. Go well! Arjuna

PS. Of course, having the tools to be present, the tools that bring you to a state of enjoyment is super, super useful. Here's my free guide to how to be more present, less stressed and to freely choose to enjoy this moment, no matter what:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

They said I laughed too much

Have you ever been criticised for laughing too much? I know, there are some times that just aren’t appropriate for sniggering like a school kid at the back of the class.

But I really thought it WAS ok to let go a little and, well, chuckle.

( Just like this young lady above, laughing it up with a big simian. I guess you had to be there to get the joke, huh?) You see, and I forgot about it until someone reminded me, a while back I was messing around with recording some talks and a guided meditation for a meditation timer app called Insight Timer.

Insight Timer is super cool - you get stars for when you regularly do a session. Everyone loves stars!

So I’m talking about meditation and awareness and mindfulness and how we get stressed and overwhelmed and negative and what you can do about it. And the whole thing really is a little humorous because we do some daft things in our own heads, believing weird stuff and getting involved in imaginary conversations with imaginary voices, and all the rest of it.

At least I do — and to me that is a cause for a little giggle. A chuckle. Some mirth.

Some of the reviews said it wasn’t a laughing matter, however. And I see it’s ruined my average review rating which, given the nature of this email, I shouldn’t really be grumpy about. Ha!

Taking yourself seriously however seems to be rampant in the world. I can understand when you’re tuning into a guided meditation (as opposed to a talk) and you’re trying real hard to relax and zone out (maybe the trying was the problem?) … but still, a little humour goes a long way.

Can you laugh at yourself?

Imagine all the times when you get stressed, if instead — and you might well have done this before — you just chuckled? Instead of taking offence and wanting to prove yourself right, you giggled, and let it be? It's really good revenge when someone says something that's off to you, and you just giggle. Tee hee ...

I know - easier to say and harder to do, but it IS something you can practice.

Taking things seriously just means you’re attached to a certain result. You're fixed on your plan, and your plan only. You want something to happen in a certain way. You have expectations that are unmovable. You want to be right, you’re insisting on this or that. You have no flexibility. You, grasshopper, are like the rigid oak that snaps in the storm, and unlike the bamboo that bends and bounces back.

And then life gets tough.

So as my Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension meditation teacher suggests, why don’t you try taking things a touch less seriously today than you did yesterday? Try and prioritise your levels of calm and happiness first.

Just a touch more that yesterday … and see what happens.

Alrighty? Let me know.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. If you want to have a listen then go right ahead. Download the Insight Timer app and search for me. Just know that there is only one guided meditation — where I am super serious and I have my soft and silky guided mediation voice on. It's called “Noticing Now” I believe. The others are talks for your education and entertainment. And may involve me sniggering to myself.

I’m not sure of the quality so excuse that. I was messing around and now I’m reminded I’ll do more.

PPS. While you’re there, if you want, join the Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension group. You DO NOT have needed to learn, but I post a weekly homework topic there which sometimes I write and sometimes other people write. It may well inspire you and/or give you something to play with during the week.

PPS. Guided meditations are wonderful. However, if you want to cut the cord and get really independent with this — and it can be soooooo simple — it’s worth while learning some techniques.

Here’s a free guide to what you need to know:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

Are you the only one?

Do you ever wake in the middle of the night, unable to sleep, your thoughts going a million miles an hour? You’re unable to shut them up and get back to sleep so you give up, get up and raid the fridge? (yom yom yom -but then that weight goes on which gives you something else to chastise yourself about?) Are worry and doubt and anxiety just a normal part of your day? Do you worry, going over something you’ve said because the way someone MIGHT have taken it? Do you ever just panic, anxiety causing a knot in your stomach and your whole system a buzzing just from some irrational — or perhaps completely rational but debilitating — fear?

Have you ever struggled to do something, anything, because your own head — what a traitor! — has turned against you and is busy shouting what a loser you are? Or you’ve made the smallest of mistakes and your head (traitor!!) keeps going on about it, not letting you move on?

You too? Oh my goodness! I thought I was the only one.

All of the above and more used to be a regular occurrence for me. I knew how good life could be, but I knew how shocking my fear and worry and self-doubt could be too. It was plenty of motivation to do something about my own head's negativity and overwhelm.

If I can get beyond these habits — and they are habits, learned ways of responding to the world — you can also learn to leave them behind. Honestly, you can.

I know what it’s like to look around and think that you are the only one struggling. That everyone else seems to have it all sorted, all easy, perfected. I thought I was the only one sharing a life with a traitor in my own skull.

If I can move beyond it, so can you. Promise.

What it takes it becoming more aware of what the voice in your head is telling you. In this awareness you can come to make a different choice. You can distract yourself from all of the trouble, and focus on what you want to focus on: like the good things of life, the things you DO have, or your actual options right now rather than irrational and/or constant “what if?” fears.

It takes practicing relaxing and training your attention on a regular basis. That is all. If you’ve had enough of negativity and overwhelm, you’ll have plenty of motivation for practicing this awareness and attention shifting on a daily basis. And that will bring you to a different state of being, a different way of living very quickly.

It will. If I can do it, so can you.

But it helps, it does, to know you’re not the only one. And that there’s a way out. And that you are enough, you are wonderful, you are doing a fine job all things considering — no matter what your own head says.

That’s me. Thank you for taking the time to read this. It all begins with a shift within you, a shift you can carry out. Not only does all of your life benefit, but so does everyone around you too. By changing yourself, you help change the world.

True that.

Go well! Arjuna

PS.

People often say, "awareness is all well and good, but what can I DO????" They want something concrete -- things to do, to practice. Here’s what I have for you: www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

PPS.

Questions? Let me know - I'd love to help!

What are you addicted to?

A question from a reader on this fine morning - “Are addictions a means of escaping something deeper?”

And my answer was -

“Could be, most certainly they could be.” (how’s that for definite?- Ha!)

You see, they don’t even need to be very “bad” addictions, like heroin or cheesecake or something. They can be anything to distract or numb or sedate even.

We are very good at attempting to run away from big decisions - somehow sitting on the fence seems so much easier than actually jumping and committing to a course, any course, of action doesn’t it?

We are also very good at avoiding looking at an part of our lives that may not be wholly satisfying too. Where we are obviously compromising and suffering because of it.

Distraction and sedation seems like a great option. “If I dig deep into something else, perhaps the decision or the problem will go away …”

And anything will do - reading, TV, shopping, eating, exercise, travel … knitting … cheesecake ... You can try anything in the attempt to cover up.

What I was personally trying to cover up was this annoying voice at the back of my head that would spout “Is THIS is? Is this ALL your life is about? What is the POINT?” all the time.

It was massively confusing, even depressing, because I had all my external, “facts of life” (not those facts) covered - great house, job, friends, hobbies, everything I wanted, I had.

None of it would quieten that inner voice of dissatisfaction. Weird huh?

I tried so hard to cover it up with more and more of the externals - and nothing worked. The more I tried, the more dissatisfied I got. The fact was that I had no internal wellbeing. No stability at all. No connection with my spiritual anchor. I couldn’t choose to be happy no matter what.

Funny old thing - it took so little to fill that inner hole but it made a huge difference to everything I did. All the “externals” came alive. A little bit of time nurturing my inner self and my outer world got so much more satisfying.

I no longer needed to do anything, I wanted to. A huge difference.

AND all the stress, struggles, overwhelm, the self-doubt and the self-criticism … all of that started to fade away too.

It’s one of the most important things you can do - sort out your inner life … your inner spiritual anchor, get the ability to be happy and at peace no matter what. Because then every decision, every compromise, every cause of stress, every thing gets simpler, more straightforward.

You hide no longer - which is an amazing thing. Your life gets better and better and better.

How about that then?

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Getting the ability to be able to sort out your inner life and choose your own happiness - to have it uncaused - is simply a matter of practicing the right things. Few people actually know these things. If you want to know?

I have a free guide here, detailing exactly what you need to do:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

The wisdom of a child is a wondrous thing

Every morning I sit with Bubba and have breakfast. I used to cover her in a kind of backward shirt so she wouldn’t get food stains all over her, now I cover myself. Proximity to someone who is learning how to throw is a dangerous business. <---- This one IS trouble, I can tell you.

But to get to my point. One day I found myself - in a moment of awareness - repeating parental mantras. These have little to do with meditation and everything to do with desperation … “But you LIKE avocado!!”

I have realised Bubs will not eat what she does not want to. Being a female, and related very closely to Sumati, she knows her own mind. One day egg is the flavour of the day, the next I’m dodging as it’s being flung at me.

There is no routine is what I’m trying to say. And I may be giving lofty spiritual attributes to something that has none - but it would seem she eats according to an inner wisdom - what she needs not what she wants. Some days she eats nothing at all, some days she eats like a rugby team.

It’s not about “its breakfast time, I SHOULD eat” but more like “what do I really need right now?”

We all have this inner wisdom, down deep beneath all the accumulated layers of belief and cultural instruction and past experience. It’s whispering to us all the time, it just gets swamped by everything else. Your ideal life comes from listening to and living from your innate wisdom. Trouble and strife only comes when you start listening to those second and third thoughts that doubt. “But what will everyone else think?” …

That is why I don’t put much stock in moral codes of behaviour. As soon as someone starts telling you to live this way and not that way, you’re getting quite divisive. How about this moment and that moment? How about these people? There’s always an exception, always an "us and them" is created and then what? What does your moral code say then?

I was told I should always eat breakfast. How’s that for a moral imperative? Turns out my body often functions better without it. Especially when I’m coming down with a flu or whatever - a quick fast can heal things quite nicely before it gets worse.

Bubba shows me that all the time.

So meditate - one of the greatest things it will give you is the awareness and the clarity of your own course of wisdom that is precisely matched to the moment you find yourself in. You become super familiar with it - and it’s always there, meditation gives you the space and the silence to tune into it.

What is possible for you - yes, you - is an ideal life, lived in perfect response to now, in perfect flow with - and never against - this moment. And you have to do so little to gain so much.

Alrighty? Go well! Arjuna

PS. I’m chuckling to myself because the book I'm finishing off is a kind of instructional manual to end overwhelm and negativity, be the best version of yourself, and have a darn tooting great life.

It could be seen as a set of moral guidelines - and yet! I start with Buddha who talks about being a scientist about everything. Listen to advice, test it out if it seems like something you agree with, but don’t agree simply because of authority. Fully try it and see if it works for you. And in all the best moral guidelines and practices will always point the finger back at your own heart: What do YOU really know?

PPS.

You'd like to know how to meditate? How to be more aware and tune into your own inner source of wisdom, avoiding struggle and overwhelm and negativity?

Here you go:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

Facebook is evil! (perhaps)

People are currently talking about Facebook and how addictive it is. They're talking about how impressionable (young and old) minds are being swayed this way and that. They're talking about how perhaps Facebook should be forced to do this and that, and perhaps generally not be so interesting. Maybe. I'm trivialising and being dramatic. All at the same time! Ha!

(And look! That guy is lifting not one, but TWO Facebooks!)

Here’s my take on the monolith that is Facebook - and in fact, all the "evils" of life. There perhaps is a place, on a case by case basis, for management of access to certain things that may be addictive. Especially in the young. Alcohol, drugs, sugar, guacamole … you know, all the fun things.

Or maybe we should just equip each and every person with a mentor. Someone wise and experienced who will explain and guide and yet allow people to make mistakes and work out that some things just take you in the wrong direction when overdone. That would be super cool.

However, before we get to that, I’m going to talk to you, as you are, right now - yes, YOU and what you can do for yourself.

In order to make your journey through life more comfortable, you can try and carpet the whole world … or you can put something under your own feet.

Ironing out ALL the wrinkles and challenges and sticky sharp things in the world is tricky, probably impossible. Putting something under your own feet? Super simple, right?

You can delete Facebook, throw your phone away, pack your job in, shift to a tropical island to avoid traffic and other people … OR you can learn to change how you react to these things. Wouldn’t that be simpler?

In a world where you will be externally out of control at least some of the time, if not many times … why not learn to control what you can?

Actually ... What can you control? What can you learn to control?

The stuff of life, the circumstances, the events, the people? Not always, not often, sometimes never. But you CAN control your choices, you can control your habitual reactions. At least you can learn to control them.

And that is where a regular practice of something like the Bright Path Ishayas Ascension comes in.

You get to see where your choice lays - how ultimately all of life begins from your attitude, your response and reaction to circumstances, your blaming or taking responsibility for your own actions.

Start there.

Unchain yourself from your reactions, your addictions, from your limitations, from the things within you that are holding you back and then see what life becomes, what Facebook becomes, what stress becomes.

Pad your own feet first and then see what might be done with the wrinkles of the world.

Start within, then move without (though don’t wait for perfection, you’ll course adjust as you go).

Awesome, you're awesome, I’m done - and have a great day!

Go well, Arjuna

And here’s how you learn to have freedom of choice. It's a free guide so you can get started right now. But ask me if you have any questions too:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

Stop it!

If there is one thing I could tell my younger self, it would be the following. It would save so much heart ache, stress and delay I can’t tell you how much. I feel it’s possibly very important for you too, that’s why I sat down and tapped this out. So pay attention - yes, you at the back, you too!

I don’t have much more of a story around this, so let’s get started:

My practice of the Bright Path Ishayas Ascension could be seen as a practice of transformation. It’s a practice that allows you to become that great version of you. Any meditation practice worth it’s salt (which, if I’m brutally honest, there are surprisingly few, actually) will do the same.

The fact is that great version of you already exists. Right here, right now.

You ARE it.

A practice such as Ascension takes away the blocks that stops you from being and living that, right now.

It may well transform you in ways you might not even know, but the beauty, the simplicity, the truth is that you are already what you seek.

Stop waiting.

It’ll take courage. It will. I don't care how brave you think you are, this is the real test.

One of the most courageous things you can do is live like there is nothing wrong with you, that you ARE enough, that you need NOTHING else to live the life you’re supposed to.

(and if you do need something? You’ll be shown it, you don’t need to seek it out).

Stop waiting for change. If you can’t change it now, work with what you have. This is it, stop postponing, stop waiting for a better future moment, a better future you.

This is not a practice of becoming, even though you become.

This is a practice of no-holds barred LIVING, because there is no time like the present, because there is no better version of you coming in some better future moment.

Grip the bull by the horns and dance, by the light of the moon if you like poetry, but dance now. Don’t sit on the sidelines, WAITING … OK? Good. Go well!

Arjuna

PS. Want a piece of THAT pie?

Here's 2 free guides to get started, right now:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

PPS. Hows the picture for a shaggy dance partner?

Why you should be kind to yourself first

(<--- Here's a picture of how being kind to yourself which allows you to be awesome might look) Last blog I talked about President Obama and how he constantly taught his daughters to “be kind, be helpful”.

But how can you be kind and be helpful to others unless you also are kind and helpful to yourself?

I feel like I talk about this a lot, but it’s such a big thing.

It really IS a big thing - honestly - the voice in your head is so unforgiving about you and your mistakes. You will drive yourself into the ground trying to prove all manner of things to that voice and what you believe the people around you want you to be.

Being kind and being helpful to everyone begins within you.

Understanding that the voice of harshness and criticism doesn’t need to be listened to is a great start. Being aware of it but not following it (the half-step back) is super kind and helpful - to you.

Then it can run out of steam, run out of momentum - no longer are you swimming in negativity and you can also shift to appreciation. You can celebrate what you have done, what you have achieved, how great you actually are. You can understand that you’re doing your best and tomorrow you’ll do better.

When you do master that voice, you are truly able to be kind to anyone and everyone. Without mastering that voice? You cannot be truly kind, not fully.

Any worth while project in life always has its foundation within.

Mastering the inner game means you master the outer game. Take the time to come to grips with all your learned and limited beliefs and habits and you’ll be able to live as the very best version of you.

Alrighty? You’re awesome.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Mastering the inner game … being able to be kind even to that voice of harshness and doubt and criticism and negativity? Here's a free guide to doing just that:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

Words of wisdom from an ex-President

I was reading an article by former President Obama’s official photographer recently. This guy lived in Obama’s pocket for several years, so got to know Obama very well. The thing that struck me was what Obama repeatedly told his daughters - and given the world and it’s seeming current emphasis on division and trolling and arguments and “I’m right and you’re wrong”, I think it’s particularly apt. Obama always told his daughters: “Be kind, be helpful”.

You’re never too big to help and to be kind. In fact, the more success you enjoy, the more important it is to help where you can and to be kind.

It takes so little to think of someone else but it makes a world of difference - not only in creating a better world but also for you. Countless studies have shown the personal power of having an attitude of being of service, of giving to others - you win when you give.

So why not, why not have an attitude to be kind and be helpful, where you can? What you give is exactly what you tend to get.

The things that will stop you doing this and make you self-absorbed? Exhaustion and tiredness is one. They mean you get snappy, you get selfish, it all becomes about you and what you can get. And that is a very small, grey world indeed.

Take time to recharge so you can live the life you want to live, be that awesome version of you.

Alrighty?

Go well, Arjuna

PS. Let me know if I can help with any of this, ok? PPS.

“Be kind, be helpful” is one of the things that come very quickly just from a practice of meditation and mindfulness. I've written a snazzy (and free) guide for you, if you're interested:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

What can you learn from exhaustion?

I’m back from my holidays! How wonderful is it to travel? It is one of my favourite things. I love seeing new places and eating new food. That’s the main reason - I think my life revolves around food. Food, food, and more food. Oh - I’m getting distracted. Here’s what I learnt in my travels:

Flying to New Zealand from the UK takes a) a very, very long time, b) awesome amounts of luggage for a being that is so small (see picture for a representation of what Bubba packed), and c) a certain kind of insanity to believe you’ll get any rest with a 1 year old in tow.

Now I’m pretty level headed. I don’t get thrown by much, truly. It's not because I'm special, simply because I made it my mission to not be. Since practicing and teaching the Bright Path Ishayas’ meditation malarky for nearly 15 years it’s given me much in terms of not being automatically triggered by people and situations.

The thing that I saw in my travels was how wild my emotions and reactions started to get just due to good old exhaustion. Snappyness - that short fuse that shows itself to no one but your nearest and dearest … and depression - that aimless, soul-less, juice-less greyness of “there’s no point” all due to just being plain old knackered.

Rest is an easy solution, job done - although to many people that is the last thing they will let themselves do - but when you have another 7 hour flight to go? Being aware of what’s boiling away inside and not taking it seriously is the way forward. You can safely ignore it, it doesn’t need any attention, it doesn’t require you working out “why?”, it’s all simply because you are tired … you see?

In awareness you just become extra careful in not following those internals. Easy peasy - when you’ve done the work before hand. That’s the real thing about a meditation practice. It DOES slow and eventually end negative reactions like anger and depression and anxiety but it also means you become MORE aware of them arising within you sooner.

Being more aware is a great thing, but many people misunderstand it. You WANT to be more aware. All so you can not let anything take you over and do things that you regret later on. All so you can shift your attention to that still silent presence that is beyond all these things.

I hope that makes sense, I’m still jet lagged, but its an important point. You don’t need to stop thoughts or emotions - that is HARD work, and ultimately impossible - you just need to start having a different relationship with them.

They don't need to go. You just need to be aware of when you're getting lost in them. Freedom from negativity and limitation is, in part, having no care whether these thoughts and feelings are there or not. And it just takes practice. It’s a kind of internal strength and flexibility you see, a skill you can practice.

All it takes is you sitting down and closing your eyes regularly. A small sacrifice for freedom in your life, is it not? Let me know if you need help with what to do.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. The thing I will recommend to get started with is right here, after this link. It's a free report on all the hows you need to get going, complete with FAQs:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Don’t invite this person to a movie

Ever seen a film that you really wanted to see and you’re really getting into - and you have that annoying friend who keeps asking: “wait - what was that about?” - wanting to discuss and question and analyse the whole thing, the whole time, pulling you out of the magic of the film and making you miss so much? Oh boy, they never get an invitation again - do they? The funny thing is that is just what your mind does to your life. You’re less IN it and more sitting back and analysing it and questioning. Sure sucks out the magic real quick.

In your most alive moments, you have no care for questioning and analysing. You’re too busy, wide open mouthed, going “whoa!!”

All of your life CAN be like that - a most amazing thing that you’re super excited to a part of, super immersed in. Ironically you don’t need to change a thing about your life to get that. Your life doesn’t need to change, just your attitude to it.

Have the attitude of not wanting to miss a single moment … “Sorry I can’t get upset, I don’t want to miss what’s going on”

“Sorry I have no time to wonder why that happened to me, because it’s all happening right now!”

“Sorry, I don’t want to analyse what she said or what he said or what they could possibly be thinking because I have a life, and it’s happening and I DON’T WANT TO MISS A SINGLE MOMENT.

That single attitude will change everything.

Life is happening right in front of you - except we think the future will be better and so miss out on right now for something that is imaginary.

Don’t lose reality to imagination. Dreams and memories are important but this here is everything.

Alright?

Go well! Arjuna

PS. and as always, let me know how I can help.

If you want the simplest most powerful tools that erase all the blocks to you being present and here and making the most of this?

Come along and I’ll show you everything you need to know and nothing you don’t. https://www.thebrightpath.com/course/first-sphere-mini-retreat-option-united-kingdom-richmond-north-yorkshire-0

Oh I know, BUT your opponent isn’t really your opponent

It can be tough this path. You’d think being present and making the most of life is a simple thing. Well - actually it IS simple, it’s just that your opponent is a little tricky. And when I say “tough” I don’t mean it takes effort - but having the stubbornness of a mule is a useful trait to cultivate. Your opponent? What do I mean? For sure, it’s not a battle but a game - the inner game. The foundation of your life has little to do with outside forces and everything to do with how you view it. When the best version of you is in charge, everything about life is peachy. When the opponent is in control, it’s tougher.

And like all your loved ones, your inner opponent knows precisely how to push your buttons. So you react like never before to the voice in your head. It knows exactly what you fear the most and exactly what you dislike the most, so it will bring it up as often as possible - usually at 2am when you’re exhausted and/or going through a tough life experience - perhaps a breakup or serious illness to someone you love.

This is what I know …

You will get there. You will get to a place where you can ignore each and every negative or overwhelming thought. You will.

The biggest spoiler of all is that everything turns out ok. It does. But your job is to simply keep going. To focus on what you want to grow. Stay as present as you can - you will get distracted but with all the gentle stubbornness in the world, jump back on track.

Know and expect the inner voice of doom and gloom and worry. Give her or him a name - it’s your pet monkey and it’s a little nervous right now. It isn’t even your opponent, it’s something that needs reassuring, to feel safe - that’s all.

One step at a time and you will get there. Just keep going. Especially when times are tough, you may feel like giving up, that you’ll never get there - just make it about one moment at a time. You can manage the greatest of challenges, one step at a time.

You will get there, everything will turn out just fine.

Alright? Let me know how I can help.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. If you’d like to come and learn the tools I use myself every single day? Come along and I'll tell you everything I know and give you all the support you want and need, for life: https://www.thebrightpath.com/course/first-sphere-mini-retreat-option-united-kingdom-richmond-north-yorkshire-0

Don’t half-arse it

The thing about humans is that we are incredible time-travellers. We need no machines - we’re all over the place in our heads. We are SO good at time travelling, we rarely spend any time here. True! It’s the world’s greatest problem. Being able to be fully here for any significant length of time without being distracted by the next shiny thing ... Ooh shiney! So instead of just making a cup of tea you’re thinking about what you should have said to that woman this morning. You’re sitting with your partner and yet you’re back at work. You’re on the phone talking with someone yet trying to find that date when you’ll be free whilst making toast for your kids. You’re listening to someone yet you’re not listening - you’re already replying in your head.

We’re constantly half-arsing life. Trying to do at least two things at once, and all of them suffer for it.

Stress ends and life gets amazing when you show up for it. Showing up for it is completely related to your ability to:

1. do one thing at a time 2. give 100% attention to that one thing you are doing

It is that simple folks, I promise you!

Think about it - how good is that film when you’re also on Facebook, flicking through? Flick through Facebook or watch the film. Either / or - not everything at once. You can’t do it.

One thing at a time, give it your full attention.

Great stuff! Nice chatting with you, put that into practice, ok?

Go well! Arjuna

PS. A decent meditation technique, of course, gives you the ability to develop this one thing at a time approach to life. 100% attention means you can focus on what you want, and ignore what you don’t.

So very good. Here’s a free guide that I put together so you can master your mind and have more fun than ever before:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff