Patience and other boring things

Apparently the average human has the attention span that is less than a goldfish. What a joke that is.

No focus, no patience, no immersion in this moment. No flow, no satisfaction ... nothing and nowhere.

Bored already? Well leave this here, cos this isn’t for you. But it could be the greatest thing you learn to do. If you're bored, you're wasting your life.

For sure, patience sounds boring. Like something your gran would tell you to do.

But when you want something to happen and you’ve done all that you can, patience is your greatest friend. If you want to do something but have no idea what, patience is your best buddy. If you have a problem and need an answer, looked everywhere and can't find one, then patience is your BFF …

However - If you’re waiting at all, then stop … why wait? Why delay your life AT ALL until a future moment comes along that you hope is better, bolder, more beautiful?

Patience. It’s not even the opposite of waiting. When you get good at it, you no longer need patience. Weird huh? Patience is only necessary when you’re begging for the future to arrive, now.

Same deal with boredom - it always exists when your mind’s attention is in the future.

Master future surfing, master your mind, master waiting, impatience and boredom. And a host of other things ...

Honestly - life is far too short to waste on waiting and being bored. When you get aware and mindful your life really starts to come alive. Not WHEN your life changes in someway, but simply because you fully show up to now to you life, exactly as it is.

Discover what it means to truly be alive. How wonderful would that be?

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Try these free guides out - we talk so much about the way you’re living life and how a few adjustments mean you can make it a completely different affair. Impatience, boredom, stress, negativity, wasting life … all flipped on their heads, for you:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

When it's so complex you can't be bothered even starting

In life there are those who want to measure and study something from a distance and then there are those - bless their souls - who want to get face first in and experience it. Taste it!

Take chocolate - or a fine whisky - or a sunny day - or anything you love ... you can analyse the heck out of it OR you can get down and immerse yourself in it.

Just think about it OR fully experience it it? What would YOU prefer?

I know what I prefer.

Every now and then I go onto various meditation and mindfulness forums and see what’s happening, see what’s being talked about, see if I can learn something, see if I can lend a hand or some advice to someone.

Every single time I’ve quit within ten minutes. 5 minutes actually. Perhaps I should persevere but some of the denizens of the internet just bore me super quick.

There is a bunch of people trying to make meditation and mindfulness so complicated, using foreign languages and jazzy terms and arguing about this state of being and that state of being … doing anything it seems EXCEPT for actually experiencing what they are talking about.

Because when you actually experience it you have little concern to argue about it. You kinda just shrug your shoulders and walk away and go and hang out with people who taste it - because they are so much more fun.

Simplicity is the height of gloriousness. Simplicity is good, simplicity is true, simplicity is what you deserve. Complication, on the other hand, kills all enthusiasm, and I believe, denotes wanting to measure something rather than actually face first experience it.

Being stress free is your natural state of being. Meditation, believe it or not, is your natural state of being. Mindfulness and awareness, is your natural state of being. Being content and calm and clear with a half-step back is your natural state of being.

Kids do it - you’ve forgotten it. That is all. Don’t complicate this, please don’t … there’s absolutely no need. It’s the simplest thing in the world. And experience it! Experience now. This is it. You cannot think about it, you can only do it. Freedom from all suffering lies within you, right here, right now.

If you have a “formal” meditation practice great. If you Ascend, great. If you do “the pause” and regularly just stop as you listen to music (or silence) or drink tea or read or breathe or exercise or knit then wonderful.

Whatever you do, switch off regularly, get to know the comfort and the calm that comes with your own presence and you are golden.

Keep it simple, and just do it, ok?

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Of course, I think of an eyes closed meditation practice as an incredible boost to your sanity. If you want to be the sanest person alive, a simple meditation practice will furnish you with that quickity quick. Here’s a few things I wrote for you, and it's free:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

The advice of the wise is often lost on the ignorant, such as myself

Back in the day when my Ishayas’ Ascension meditation teacher had only a few students I would get the chance to talk to him by phone. This was awesome. A supremely wise expert, on tap. I remember, as is often the case with the advice of the wise, it took a while to filter in through the various stages of cotton wool that seems to exist in between my ears.

We would be chatting and I would say, “you know, I really have trouble staying present and using the techniques you taught me when I’m on the computer”.

“Are you on the computer now?” he would ask.

“No, but this morning I was, and it’s a real problem because I get stressed about this and that and when will I get good enough blah blah blah …” I would prattle on.

“Are you present now?” he would ask.

“Of course I freaking am, I’m talking to you” I would THINK, but because I don’t like to swear too much: “Absolutely boss, certainly, incredibly, there’s no one more present than me right now, apart from your good self of course” I would actually SAY (or something similar).

“When I get present and manage to end stress and negativity I wonder how cool my life would be? What do you think?” I would enquire.

“Can you choose to be present now, make the most of this and let the future you sort itself out?” he would say.

And so on, and so on. I just wouldn’t get it. Sometimes the truth is so simple it's easy to miss. But fortunately he stuck in there, kept saying the same things in different ways, and now, I do. I do get it.

This is the only moment you can do anything. Here it is. You can ponder about all manner of things, you can wonder how you might live this moment better, but ultimately what beats all of that is simply and absolutely just showing up to now.

This is it. Doesn’t matter what happened this morning, doesn’t matter what you did last night, who cares what you will be like when you’re enlightened, the moment you have is now.

Now, now, now, now. Oh - and now.

This is the path and the destination. Just now. Keep it simple and soak in it.

Alright?

Go well! Arjuna

PS. I have some free guides and a Facebook group that - if you liked the above words - and also want to live forever present, will help you in numerous ways. Head this way:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

What sacrifice would you make for the perfect life?

That title is a touch dramatic, isn’t it? But after talking with someone the other day, I realised an important point. One that is so obvious now, but perhaps isn’t that clear to many people.

Now - I realise some of you are busy. I realise you sacrifice a lot already. I get that - read this carefully. Don’t add to your weight of life by misunderstanding what I’m saying, ok? I want to help you live a lighter life, not a heavier one. And if you have a question about this, get in touch. Alrighty? The important point is that to get anything, anything at all, you have to sacrifice something else.

To lose weight, you have to sacrifice certain foods, as well as time and effort to do some exercise. To learn to master your mind, and overwhelm and negativity along with it, you have to sacrifice time and a small amount of effort so you can practice it. You have to sacrifice those times when everyone else is watching Netflix - for example.

Or, perhaps you really want to watch the Game of Thrones with everyone, so you decide to wake up early and practice before everyone else has awoken. But then the sacrifice is having to get up out of bed early, when you’re sleepy and cosy, and it’s dark and cold.

There is always a sacrifice to be made in order to gain anything.

The trouble happens when you focus on what you’re sacrificing. You become so fixed on the missing the Game of Thrones (with that glass of wine) that you COMPLETELY miss what you’re gaining from your sacrifice. You miss the joy of improving, of becoming greater.

You don’t appreciate what you’re getting, and that is the reason why you pack it all in and go back to the same old, same old. I got this from Bubba - she who must be obeyed --->

I realise that I will never have a sleep in again. I will never just throw my kayak in the car and head off for a 5 day adventure on the spur of the moment. I will never be able to leave my book on the floor where she can chew it to pieces.

Now - I can resent her for making me make that sacrifice, or I can enjoy what she gives me - which is a huge amount of joy and a reminder of being constantly in the Now. And who could resent that cute little zombie face?

This goes with anything. Everything has a price. But - if you’re smart, you’ll see that everything has a reward too. You can resent the price, or you can enjoy the reward.

All this means is if you’re going to do something, make sure you really want to do it. Make sure you really focus on the reward, not on what you’re giving up.

And then it’s not really a sacrifice is it? It’s just a means to an end. It’s following that which gives you greater and greater joy.

Focus on the silver lining, always. It will transform your life.

Questions? Let me know, I’d love to help out if I can. Go well! Arjuna

PS. After all that, learning to master your mind and the chaos that goes with it requires very little sacrifice. Sure - you have to sit down and close your eyes consistently, but it’s such a pleasurable thing. Relaxing, time to yourself, recharging, it really is simple.

Gandhi said once reason he meditated was because it gave him more time in his busy day.

So do something! If you're interested, here’s some things I put together for you, for free:

www.arjunaishaya/freestuff

Perfect slice of wisdom for you

One of the members of my Facebook group for my free 7 day mindfulness challenge said something there recently that is pure magic: “When you get present and aware, you realise that the small things are actually the big things”.

That is SO true, and such a rewarding perspective. What a slice of wisdom (my favourite slice, closely followed by pizza slice) -and she knows it because she experiences it, it's not just a nice bunch of wise words - they are lived. All the seemingly big "important" stuff? All the stuff that takes up most of your attention? Your to do list with all it’s haste and hustle and bustle and what not?

They ARE important, but at the same time they aren't really that important - at the end of the day - are they? ... and that is the clarity you get.

The small stuff, the things you probably take for granted? Like when Bubba is trying to get my attention and I just want to finish one more line of ... this. She won't be trying to get my attention forever ... yet her little smile is the most important thing in the world to me.

When you practice mindfulness and meditation you actually start to live a life aligned with what is TRULY Important to you, and that is a very very satisfying way to live life.

So this isn't just a nice trick to deal with stress, it's the way you discover what it means to truly be alive. Then you can really shine!

That’s what I reckon anyway - why not give it a try and prove me wrong? Go on.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Here you go - some things you want to learn that will make you wise. Simple, powerful, relaxing, transformative:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

Live the wisdom! Be the wisdom!

What to do when it’s stuck to you like gum to your shoe

Have you ever heard that expression “just let go”? Sometimes it’s helpful, sometimes it’s used like an attack “dude, just freakin’ let it go!”.

How do you “let go”?

Well - the theory and the practice is simple. Letting go is in a way distracting yourself from thinking so much a particular way.

What you focus on, grows - this is the golden rule. Hence the wise man who said "what you sow is what you reap". But whatever you sow, put it in the ground cos that's going to get heavy at some stage. And I personally wouldn't garden in a suit, but up to you.

So in meditation you use the breath (for example) to focus on. In the Ishayas’ Ascension we have Ascension Attitudes which work very nicely indeed. Since what you focus on grows, putting your attention on something else means THAT grows in your attention. You let go by putting your attention on something else.

Simple so far, right?

So what is happening when you try to let go and it keeps on coming back, time and time again? What do you do when it’s strong, and intense, and habitual?

Well - those thoughts patterns ARE habits, so they WILL come up time and time again. They are a well worn groove of thinking that is easy for your mind to unconsciously slip into. You try and let them go and there they are again.

So what is important for you is consistency in letting go, time and time again - like the tennis professional player practicing their shot, time and time again to make it perfect - all so you can finally come to let them be ...

If that makes sense?

Consistency of letting go is key simply because you have focused on thinking a particular way for so long or given it significant mental and emotional weight that it now has the momentum of a runaway train.

Practice makes perfect, and makes peace too. So don’t get discouraged when you find yourself in the same patterns of worry or doubt or anger or whatever … Imagine cosmic Yoda is talking the words on the left to you and be that tennis professional and just get back on the (tennis) horse once again.

You’ll get so good at it, you’ll become unconsciously excellent at it. It will seem like you do it without any attention, automatically. And how wonderful is that? How wonderful would your life be with that kind of mental and emotional resilience?

Amazing is what!

So - go well! Arjuna

PS. If you’re interested, this is exactly one of things I teach here, along with the very cool tools  and the practice to allow you to do that, to let go sweetly and easily:

www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff

Hanging out with people on the same wavelength as you

You can never have too much reminders or inspiration. I did a little webinar the other night for people who have already learnt the Ishayas’ Ascension meditation and one of the things that people were saying the morning after is how great they feel, what a difference a simple reminder makes.

And it’s true … it’s so easy to get stuck in your own little world, your own same old routines and attitudes and habits … and one of the ways of staying reminded is to hang out with people on the same wavelength as you - OR hang out with people on the wavelength you want to be on. Here's a photo of people "connecting" if you don't know how to do it (or something like that ---->)

You can never have too much reminders or inspiration. It’s simply impossible to overdose on these things. It’s so simple to make the effort to connect in too - but often we don’t realise how important it is until we’re in the middle of being inspired.

Your mind will tell you simply, “I can do it all by myself” - and you can and you should in that you are the one that has to practice - no one can do that for you - but you and your practice becomes so much more when soaking in good company.

Now - at this point people will say “But I’m all alone, I have no community around me”. With the advent of the internet you have all the community you can handle. The internet isn't just pictures of cute dogs you know.

All that is required is for you to stop being “too busy” and set aside the time to tap into that. The next step is to be bold enough to risk looking silly and ask all the questions you have.

Alrighty? What are you going to do today to stay connected?

Good stuff - go well! Arjuna

PS. Want a slice of one of my favourite communities? They are so cool. To join us, head this way for a 7 day mindfulness challenge: https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

"What are you doing here?" A large question ...

Lots of questions about purpose at the moment - I think it must be the moon or the alignment of the planets poking you or something.  (Porpoise?)

But it’s a great question: “What am I doing here?”, everyone asks it at some stage. Since I believe that what I'm doing right now IS my purpose, here’s my experience of coming to this point:

I was told early on to follow my bliss. Do what I loved doing as much as possible because life was short. It made sense, so I did. Even though I had a heavy study programme at university, I tried to balance it and so I went out and listened to bands as much as possible and kayaked and snowboarded my little patootey off.

So Passion is important in life. Doing stuff you love. Now maybe you need to get a job so you can take care of your responsibilities while you do that, earning those fun tokens, maybe if you’re lucky you can find a way of being paid to do what you love. Just be careful you don't turn what you love into a work drudgery.

In living your Passion you also realise that it only increases when you share it, when you help others, and that's nice too - they win and you win and they win in an ever ascending spiral.

Then there’s Presence. If you’re aware, doing your Passion, what you love, it makes you Alive, it immerses you in the moment easily. You soak in Presence more and more and that bleeds out into even your most mundane of tasks. Wonderful! Presence will also give you Patience, contentment, full enjoyment of each and every moment. It will help when you are in those times when you don’t understand why, as in why is this happening to me? Why am I doing this? Why am I here?

More importantly, Presence means you are centred. That is the core of all Purpose - you are most effective and Alive when you’re centred. Without centre you can rush around all you like and have little influence. Presence means your words and actions become aligned with your own innate wisdom. You already know what you want to do or say, many times you doubt it - that you’re good enough, that it’s the right thing, that it's worthy enough, and “who am I to say/do that any way?” The more centred you stay, the more doubt just evaporates and you're no longer afraid just to try, to experiment.

The more centred and filled with Presence you are, the more you are a lighthouse for anyone seeking the same truth within themselves. Your centred Presence is a balm for any troubled soul, and you won’t get lost in their suffering. It truly is, and that is before you say or do anything.

Be guided by Passion and Presence. You will find that Passion and Presence begets your Purpose.

Following those two brings you clearer and clearer to understanding what you’d like to do, what you’re here to do, but most importantly how you’d like to be - and that is the most crucial thing, I think, because the internal is your foundation for what you do. Get the internals right and the externals follow nicely.

I’m rapidly typing this because it's coming out faster than I can write, and so I hope you get what I mean. Let me know if you have any questions at all.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Presence, Passion and Purpose - meditation can be more than “just” a meditation, it can be an enhancer of all of these things. It allows you to tap into your own innate wisdom more and more, so you truly live the life you were born to live.

Want to know more? Head this way:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Numbed? No way - what mindfulness is not

Reading a newspaper article this morning as I was sipping my coffee and feeding the toast/hummus/avocado machine that is Bubba (she's a hipster babe, what can I do?), and I spluttered, a little. The article was about corporate mindfulness programmes to help workers deal with stress. It stated that corporate mindfulness was turning the workers into meek accepting drones. That such practices were getting rid of negative thinking and therefore glossing over, ignoring and not dealing with the root of the problem of working stress in the first place.

Let me tell you something …(just wait a mo while I climb up on this high horse here - hence the artists impression above ... righteous or what?)

And it is something that confuses many people.

They start to do this stuff because they want to get calm - and they do - but they also start to get a little bolshy as well.

They start to see all the places in their lives where they’ve meekly gone along, agreed, given their power away, not said or done the things they felt strongly about.

A regular practice comes along and a fire starts to burn within you, a quiet roar where you see all the places where you have compromised and played small. And boof! As well as calm and contentment you get clarity and JUICE to really live how you want to, you get the courage to go ahead with those difficult words or those difficult actions.

Part of mindfulness and meditation is about acceptance, for sure.

But it’s rational, completely rational acceptance. It’s realising how useless it is to get stressed about all the uncontrollable things that most people get upset about - it is accepting the things you cannot control, in other words. But it equally gives you the clarity to see where you can and want to change the things you CAN control.

And that is the key point that gets missed in this article and similar views. This practice will not numb you. It will not suppress you. It will not and does not turn you into a doormat. It makes you more alive, more You, not less.

Want some? Get started here, with this free guide:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Go well! Arjuna

PS. How can I help you?

The Pause - you’ve been doing it all along

Last time I talked about how “The Pause”. Gettit?

The Pause has capitals for sure, because it’s a meaningful (and meaningless) moment or minutes where you just stop and do nothing. Where you collect yourself, where you break up the busy-ness and the haste and the “got to get things done” for a period of time of your choosing.

It looks like you’re zoning out, you’re switching off, blanked out perhaps … and you are in a sense, but more like you’re zoning IN to what is real and true and calm and centred about you.

Kids do it all the time - I think we perhaps get it “beaten” out of us, told to pay attention, to stop “day dreaming”, you know?

Many people wrote in with exclamation marks and said how what they were already doing now made sense to them. Perhaps it was that pause over a cup of tea, the morning walk where they stop and just stare out at the scenery. Those precious moments just listening to that wonderful piece of music. Taking more time in the shower, feeling the hot water make your body lose and heavy.

Whatever - it’s taking time to remember to live, rather than just rush.

Some were worried it was some kind of epileptic fit, something wrong, something broken … and I don’t know your particular case but I bet good money it’s more about taking a quick moment from all the activity.

Completely natural - it’s required for your sanity even.

If you think about your wellbeing like a bank account … so many people only spend, spend, spend. They are far into overdraft, and if you’ve ever been there it’s a tough place to be in. The Pause is about depositing goodness (energy, balance, perspective, mind space, good humour) back in so you don’t run out.

We naturally do it as kids and the only thing is adults forget, or think they shouldn’t, that it’s not important.

Actually it’s the most important thing in the world. And it’s not rocket science, so keep it simple. Go well! Arjuna

PS. For me, learning meditation took The Pause to a greater level. I recommend it, fully and completely. It meant I was able to pause while even in the middle of vigorous activity. “How so??” you might ask … and it’s a great question.

The Pause is a wonderful to do in your life.

When you do it, you start to recognise that the present, silent space that you tune into when you completely pause all activity is also there in the middle of activity, all activity. It’s a weird thing to explain in words but if you’ve ever had a Flow or Zone experience you’ll know it super well.

The thing about Flow and Zone states is that the intensity gets dialled up hugely. Everyone is trying to chase and recreate this intense experience and yet a subtle, quiet one is under their nose, the whole time. They're missing out because they're everywhere looking except for the one place it is, here.

Anyhow, if you'd like to know more to meditation and mindfulness here's a couple of free guides I think you'll really like: www.arjunaishaya/freestuff

Doorway prayers and pauses

Ages ago I read of a group of Zen monks who would go through a very complicated set of chants and prayers every time they went through a doorway. “How bizarre”, I thought to myself, “Imagine if I did that every time I entered a room - it would take forever to get any where” … and it would.

But the purpose of doing that is not praying to the doorway, it's for the monk to make sure they don’t forget and mentally run off. Doorways are always opportunities, you see - to leap into the future of where you are heading, or stay present and aware to the moment you find yourself in: In your head - lost in thinking, or in your body - aware and living.

There’s always a choice, and remembering to make your choice is everything. Mental activity is the heavy stuff. No matter the event, the thinking about it is infinitely more stressful.  And - while being constantly ahead of yourself means you feel busy and overwhelmed, being present means you do one thing at a time and you feel calm, regardless of how much you have to do. One of these choices causes drama and exhaustion, the other means you can wend your way through life smoothly and efficiently, with a smile on your face.

I mention this story because why not? And a fine fellow was telling me that he has just started to do what his father did, every day before he set off for work. His father would make sure everything was ready, and then stand at the front door, staring out the small window - sometimes for ten minutes or so.

Why?

He was making sure he was ready for the day. Taking the time before he stepped out on the street to pause, to collect, to get that half-step back before he got caught up in the busy, in the go go.

My dad would do the opposite - as in at the end of the day. As a kid I would hear the car pull up and wait at the window for my dad to come in. He would sometimes sit in that car for ages. Later on I asked him what he was doing and he said he was listening to the sound of silence … letting the day go so he could join his family anew, without the events of the day and all the wouldda shouldda couldda’s clinging to him.

So you know I’m a big fan of closing your eyes and meditating because that brings you the choice for a large amount of calm extremely quickly, but if you don’t want to do that you now have something else.

I call it "the Pause", and whether done before the day, during and/or after, it is always worth investing in. You can be reassured that meditating AND the pause combined together are huge.

And why not? No one is going to make the choice for the half-step back for you - are they? Maybe you should get going on that for yourself.

Questions? Let me know, as always I’d love to help.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. I put together a very easy to read, yet I believe rather compelling, list of ways of practicing more mindful and enjoy being less stressed and struggling. It's free, and you can get a copy here:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

The lesson in stress, in pain, in life

Someone just asked me if meditation and mindfulness could help a bad back. She was saying that she thinks it’s caused by stress. And it could well do. I won't make any promises but the thing is that your mind is at the core of everything you do. Stress and overwhelm and negativity sometimes means your body hurts. It's your body's way of telling you to slow down, to stay calm, to rest, to stop fighting.

Sometimes when you change your mind you can change your body. A lot of aches and pains and illness can leave. It’s really amazing to see, miraculous even.

Sometimes however the body has it's own wisdom and the aches and pains and illness still remain. That can be so frustrating when you're chasing healing. There is always a lesson in there though - and when you stop and listen it becomes becomes obvious. And it’s not until you truly stop and listen can you hear.

Sometimes that lesson is that you're ultimately not in control of so much, so focus on the things you are in control of - like your attitude, like being grateful for what you do have, being content.

You can focus on what you think is wrong - or you can focus on what is right at the moment. Sometimes that is the extent of the lesson - what you focus on grows. Stop resisting what is wrong and start appreciating what is good.

Anyways - stopping and tuning in always gives more clarity. Pushing and resenting and resisting always makes things worse.

Stopping - and regularly so - is very valuable. It makes all of your life super simple and straight forward. Need help with that, or don’t get what I’m saying? Please just ask - I’d love to help.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Learning and practicing these "108 things" is a really sweet way of stopping and ending stress, gaining clarity and perspective, getting rested and recharged, and helping all of your life in so many ways: https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

And they're free!

The coolest and most useful trick in the world

Standing on one foot used to be the trick I wanted to do so much. I was 2, I think, at the time … then it was learning to juggle. That was pretty cool when I finally managed it, then I found I could juggle AND stand on one foot. Then I did a yoga class and realised I REALLY needed to up my game … but hey, enough about me ...

Balance - a very cool trick! The balance I want to talk about here isn’t so much about standing on one foot and doing tricks like some bizarre yogi acrobat …

The best, most USEFUL, kind of balance is much, much different.

This is the kind of balance that loves having goals, getting stuff done, becoming, but at the same time is based in absolute contentment in what you have right now.

It’s a tricky thing - and yet to live well, contentment is very necessary. So often people get overwhelmed when trying to hold together a busy life. Negativity can creep in "I'll never be able to do that" ... Or annoyed when you hear about someone else’s adventures, comparing and regretting the state of your life that means you can’t do what he or she’s doing.

The best kind of balance is indeed founded in this moment in time. The future, the past, comparison - all of these things are not of now. They don’t help contentment at all. And yet just being content without passion or purpose means you probably won’t even get out of bed.

You can, and you should, have a foot in both camps. You will find they nurture each other. With goals comes excitement and aliveness. With contentment is the end of overwhelm and stress. And it means you have the clarity and perspective to get to where you want, with style and without angst. No matter what happens, no matter the ups and downs of outrageous fortune, you are secure in presence and contentment.

So tune into now. Find balance.

Go well! Arjuna

PS.

Balance takes practice. It’s your natural state so to speak, but definitely take practice to remember how to be this way.

Simple though, when you practice the right things. Here's a little free cheat sheet I put together of all the ways you can live a balanced, content, alive life: https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Check it out!

But what about them?

A big concern many people have with taking time out to do something like meditation is basically, “how will they cope without me?” Ever get the guilts even when you pop down to do the shopping? “I can’t leave them, because they NEED me” - do you know that?

That's a big one for many, mums especially ... and if you don't do this and/or you're not a mum  - but you know one - perhaps this might help you understand and help them?

The fact is that kind of living can definitely lead to guilt and resentment in you because you never get time alone; and it means they just think you’ll do everything. You get exhausted and grumpy, they get wary in case they step on your toes the wrong way ... it all gets a bit messy.

Taking time for you is important. I used to love it when my mum went away because I got some time just with dad. Not that there was anything wrong with mum, its just dad was different, and we didn’t get to see him as much as mum. It was cool and different, not bad at all!

The other thing is, by taking a small amount of time out of your day they get a better version of you back. A small investment in yourself means you can give so much more: Less worry and resentment and guilt and snappiness. More ease in the chaos, more good times, more energy, better sleep.

“Just do it!”, I say. In no way is it selfish. Put your own oxygen mask on first and then you can really help others.

You may know this - but perhaps you've let it slip. Why not start back up again?

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Here’s a little challenge that will mean you can just ignore those thoughts that create mayhem for you: https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/ 

Indeed, NO is sometimes best

Last email was all about how any relationship transforms when you give to it. When you give first, you create the very real possibility of enjoying a rich, alive, fun relationship. I said to give and give and give.

And yet! Sometimes the most giving thing you can do is say “NO” … is not give.

“Wha?!"

I don’t say this to annoy you, but done from a foundation of giving and appreciation, saying no to someone is sometimes the greatest thing you can do.

I used to say YES to everyone and everything. I wondered why there was zero time for me and what I wanted to do. I started to resent people asking for things or advice. Starting to say no was a revelation to me, it really was.

Saying no, also for example, means you can make the time to sit down and meditate. This in turn means you can recharge and refresh, gain a million and one physical, emotional, mental and spiritual benefits and therefore run closer to 100% than 0% (like so many people do).

When you’re running on 100% everyone wins. You can give so much more, and in ways that mean you don’t start to resent anyone.

So sometimes saying NO means you can say YES so much more.

Interesting huh?

Now, there’s no rule book for this. Get present and you’ll find out when and where you might like to say NO more.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. More awareness, more presence in your life? You gain a kind of wisdom, a kind of intuition which means you know the best thing to do in each and every moment.

It’s really pretty cool once you start to experience it.

Here's a simple, and free way of getting all of this and more:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

Amazing - Give this, and you get so much more

I think I’m getting pretty good at this relationship thing. I said that to Sumati the other day and a funny thing happened. She squarked and coffee came out her nose. Weird huh? I used to be terrible, but I wanted to get better because I was SO terrible, or at least, distinctly average. I always thought it was their fault, but then I woke up and realised it was mine. That wasn’t really a nice realisation, but it was a good one.

You see - All my relationships were based on waiting for her to give to me, because basically, “I deserve it”. My whole approach was “what can I get from her?” Gimme gimme gimme - it could have been my name. And quite often I was left wondering why my relationships didn’t sparkle, why they weren’t really alive, why they just failed.

“It must be her fault” I mused … wrongly. Here’s the thing: if you want a super alive, connected, loving, exciting relationship where arguments and disagreements seem to rarely happen … ?

Give. Give. Give and give. You first - give and then, you will get. It’s easy to get complacent in a busy relationship. It’s easy to take the other for granted. However, you have the key:

Give. The greatest thing you can give? Like I said the other day - first your presence, your complete attention. And second - easy peasy - your active appreciation and gratitude.

Praise and appreciate til the cows come home and watch what happens. Not only will your relationships light up, but your whole attitude to your life will.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Your habits around giving are probably all twisted up. Like many people you can be more free around giving, and indeed, receiving. The great news is these programmes can be refined, retuned, replaced.

Here’s the secret, I reckon: https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

There she was, just lying on the floor

Yesterday I came in from my pedicure to find Sumati lying on the floor. “What are you doing down there?” I enquired. “Just hanging out”, she groaned, as Bubba crawled all over her, like a huge fly - undeniable, trying to poke wooden blocks in Sumati’s ears, as young ones are fond of doing. Sumati looked lifeless, a fraction of her usual self, so I packed her off to bed and sent Bubba to the work house.

(Part of that last sentence was untrue, and simply for dramatic effect).

Sickness - when you just want to crawl into a little ball and hide from the world. Yup, this morning I was infected as well. Never been so ill as with this little germ carrier in the house.

Someone had to look after Bubs so I stepped up. Sat her down with some toys and then grabbed a cup of tea and the newspaper to curl up in.

This wasn’t enough - Bubba wanted attention. ALL of my attention, not just a cursory “whats up?” and a brick thrown at her. So I gave up my plan. Instead of getting irritated, I sat down with her and played. And she was delighted. And all was well.

A nice reminder - all any one wants is your attention, your presence. It’s the single greatest thing you can give to your loved ones. For you to BE with them.

Sure, you need your “me” time, but your life becomes instantly easier (and fun too) when you’re there for those who you said you want to be with.

Chances are you’re not.

You’re on your phone, texting your buddy or on facebook, flicking through … or, you’re in your head, thinking about today, thinking about tomorrow, thinking about where you’d like to be instead …

Get present - give fully of your attention and watch all your relationships transform. Notice when you get irritated, when you don’t want to give your attention. That’s an excellent invitation to look at your priorities.

Just do it - give it a whirl and see what happens. I think you’ll like it.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Every part of your life gets smoother, easier, and more fun when you show up for it - not just your relationships.

If you’re ready for the greatest method of becoming effortlessly present, here is a 7 day challenge to become awesome at beating irritation and stress and getting to the one place you can live a life, now: https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

The secret (not that secret, a better one!)

OK - so a semi-serious question for you: How do you want your life to be like? Here’s the secret to having the foundation for an amazing life, free of limitation and doubt and worry and flying off the handle ... beyond coffee and pork pies and tasty, salty, crunchy snacks (of course, those are your foundation, your must haves to a glorious life) …

So:

To create a wonderful future, all you need to do is stop and create a wonderful present. To get to where you want to go, start walking in the right direction. And the right direction for a foundation of freedom from struggle and overwhelm lies in this moment, this one … right here ... is it. Choose to take the half step back and be present.

Makes sense, right?

The choice that means you master any limiting habit such as anger or anxiety can only happen now. Do it now ... and enjoy it - for the path to heaven does not go through hell.

The very best question to get yourself back on an even keel, with perspective, calm and a smile on your face?

How can I enjoy this more?? ^^^ What a great question.

But in order to enjoy this more, you will have to sacrifice a few things. Worry is one. Anger is another. Going off into outrageous futures or clinging to pasts is another. Getting so wound up you can't see straight. Wanting to be right more than wanting to be happy.

Multi-tasking is probably another.

Think you're willing to give up those things for a glorious future? Super ... get going on that right now. Simply do your best to prioritise your peace in this here moment.

As best you can ... if you forget? No deal. Just remember once again.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. When you’re ready, come and join my free 7 day mindfulness "challenge". Most amazing thing ever, I think you'll love it:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/ 

Your enrolment has been accepted

The most amazing thing (I personally think) is that you are enrolled and being educated in a very prestigious school ... and perhaps you don’t even realise it. If you are pay attention, if you are willing, the university of life is trying to teach you in the exact ways where you can be more free, have more fun and be more effective with less struggle and overwhelm and negativity:

Where and how you can truly be alive.

It’s trying to show you everything. It’s constantly pointing the finger, inviting you (sometimes in what may seem the strangest of ways) to really look and see how you can respond to life better. It’s constantly asking “how do you REALLY want to live?”

It’s a great question is it not?

How DO you want to live? At the end of the day, what do YOU want it to mean to be you?

With struggle and stress and overwhelm and negativity? Or fluidity and humility, confident and calm, content and with a sense of humour?

The great thing about this school is there are no failures. You always get another shot. There is always another lesson. Not to punish you - but to HELP you. All of this, no matter how it may seem, is indeed to help you! If you have the right attitude you will see this.

Isn't that cool? You're being looked after - you just need to accept the invitation.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

Freely choosing your response IS a definite education. A skill that requires practice and persistence. It’s a kind of fitness, an ability that you CAN develop.

Here’s an excellent way to get really good, really quick: https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

Can I sell you a book? (it’s not really about that)

Someone was teasing me about flogging my (soon to be finished) book in a recent blog. It was all good natured and tongue in cheek, but the reason I’ve been telling you and quite a few others ISN'T just to sell a few copies. The REAL reason for my blabbing away about it is that the more people know about it, the less I can procrastinate and mess around and delay and not finish the thing.

I’ve done that for far too long.

My reason for delaying is always perfectionism. I can work on it, and work on it, and work on it, but perfectionism says “It’s not yet done” … and so it never gets done. "It's not good enough yet" ... and so it never ever gets released out in the wild.

Do you have a project like that?

It could be something big, like a book or some studies. It could be something “small” like doing some daily exercise or closing your eyes to meditate.

Sometimes its just that you are "too tired, and you’ll start tomorrow", or "next weekend" ...

Often you don’t feel like it, so “what’s the point even starting?” … Or - it just isn’t going as well as you think it should, so you quit early and go home … Or like me - it just needs a little more work before anyone else can see it … Or - you need to learn a little bit more before you start actually even doing something … right?

There is such power in just doing it, no matter how confident or ready or educated or how you feel about something.

Its amazing to me how someone would rather clean their whole house than sit quietly for 10 or 15 minutes. The hardest thing about meditation is sitting down and staying down until your time is up. Actually, I only know how hard it is to start AND finish because I have that voice too.

The good thing is - honestly - that voice loses it’s juice, it’s power, the more you just ignore it.

Here’s what I have learnt - and there’s a fellow called Pat Flynn whose email the other morning said exactly what I was feeling about just doing it: _______

"It doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't have to be good. But you do have to finish what you start." _______

If you have people who know what you’re embarking on, what your goal is, that helps you hugely. Because when that perfect voice and the quit voice comes in, you have that extra bit of outside accountability and help not to listen.

Because … it doesn’t have to be perfect, it doesn’t have to be good, you just have to start. And if you start, just finish.

Then you have the things you say you want in your life.

You can meet your goals, have amazing adventures, go new places, spend quality time with people - all with freedom from overwhelm and stress and struggle and negativity.

You get to decide how you live your life - and that is worth its weight in gold.

Alrighty?

So lose perfectionism, lose doing it tomorrow, lose waiting until the conditions are great, and just start - and then finish.

Go well, Arjuna

PS. You know what? I am really quite excited to finally be finishing this book. It’s been years in the writing. I feel like I have - almost - achieved something. And that is quite the motivation to get it done.

The interesting thing is I don’t really care how many people read it. Just having it out there is the main thing.

Perfectionism? Having people like it? Well - who cares when I can send my dad a book that I wrote? Ha!

PPS Oh - talking about accountability - I have a little 7 day challenge to become more mindful. We have a little facebook group so I can help you actually do the 7 days.

Here’s all the info - https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/ Many many people have been saying they aim to do 7 days, and then keep going because the benefits are so good. Good reason to join in, no?