‘You are made of the finest stuff’ … strong words you may not believe. But in living a Good life, you have to distrust what your mind says in this matter. It’s a fine servant but a terrible master.
The friend I never met
A Buddha's focus and deep understanding – what would be the point for you?
If you’re in, be ALL in
Freedom with anxiety and fear
The Secret Sauce
What is success? Part 2: Becoming wise.
What makes something spiritual?
The Silver Lining.
What is a good result?
Is it getting what you want in the short term? Or having a deeper understanding, a better perspective, “growing as a person” because you didn’t get what you wanted?
Have you ever lived through something that wasn’t pleasant at the time but now when you look back, you’re actually glad it did happen, simply because a lot of good came from it?
When my mum died, fairly young, of cancer - that wasn’t a good time. But it was the most amazing of times too, simply because I got to know her on such a deeper level. It was quality time, indeed. The same with my brother. I am so much closer to him now than ever before.
The silver lining, and one that may not have happened if mum hadn't gotten sick, is that I no longer have the mediocre relationships I used to have with my family.
The other thing that became so clear was that any future thoughts, with all the doctors’ prognoses (of which there were plenty) and lots of worry about mum, only led to suffering. I had to be very present otherwise I would instantly dissolve into a ball of worry and anxiety.
I got to see my mind clearly, and didn't go there. It was too painful.
So I was super present, and was able to be with mum as she was, not as I thought she would be in the future. We actually had a lot of fun.
The fact is you can frame any experience any way you want. It can be good, it can be bad. That label changes you.
I say always choose to see the good. If it’s a challenging situation you especially need to find a silver lining. Find a benefit to you and focus on that.
There is a story that my meditation teacher tells. He doesn’t tell it so often anymore, probably because he knows that his students steal all his best ideas quickly, so he has to constantly come up with new material.
But it’s about a villager who, to cut a long story short, has an amazing thing happen to him. He shrugs his shoulders and says “Good news? Bad news? Who knows?”. The next day the amazing thing has lead to something terrible. Again, he shrugs his shoulders and says “Good news? Bad news? Who knows?”. The next day the terrible thing turns out to be a blessing in disguise, and again, he simply shrugs, and says “Good news? Bad news? Who knows?”.
Who knows why things happen? Who knows what will happen next? I don’t.
Just assume all is good. In this moment focus on the silver lining. Make the most of what you have. Be wide open and see what happens next. You may be surprised.
Have a great weekend - enjoy each and every moment of it.
___________________________
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Make the most of your time here.
I’ve always wanted to live the best life possible.
The whole reason for learning and practicing Ascension meditation, to consciously and actively have a better attitude, to clearly see what limiting thoughts and attitudes I have, all of it is to make the most of my time here.
I realised early on that life is short. All because I had so many friends and acquaintances die in their late teens and early twenties.
One guy I worked with went to the doctor with a sore stomach and was dead 2 weeks later. One friend died on a kayaking trip. A friend was on a cycling trip and got hit by a car. Another, a brother of a friend, crashed a plane. So many more stories.
It’s not pleasant at all, but I’m glad it happened. Like all things, death has a silver lining.
Death has been the greatest lesson - simply because the presence of death is an awesome reminder that we don’t have a whole lot of time.
See when you think you have a lot of time, you tend to waste it, you tend to postpone. You tend not to worry about squeezing the most out of life because you can do it, well... later.
But those who realise how precious this life is, that time indeed is running out, they really do get the most out of each and every moment. They don't wait until later.
Each person, each conversation has greater significance because you don’t take things for granted.
Each dream, each great ambition, you don’t let a doubt or a limiting thought get in the way of you making it happen.
You don’t have the time for a life that is not yours, living and doing the things you can’t stand and can’t accept.
Come to terms with the fact that life is short. Develop the ability to make the most of each and every moment, to make sure you live your dreams, to live the best possible life.
Don’t delay!
The zone of awesomeness.
There are times in life, no matter what you are doing, where you are captivated, absorbed, transfixed by what you are doing.
It is a very enjoyable experience, and it is a universal experience, one that many have had a taste of and long for more of.
Everything you do has this potential zone of awesomeness within it. It’s probably called something else by those who study such things, but as amateur researchers in the good life I’m sure you can grasp what I’m referring to.
Classic names given to it are the “runner’s high”, being in “the zone”, or a state of “flow”. It doesn’t matter what it is called, the fact is that it exists, and within it performance and enjoyment are maximised.
The people at the top of their fields - whether it be sports, art, music, business, parenting, whatever - they all know how to access this zone with relative ease.
Here’s what you need to know about it:
It need not be something you touch upon. It is possible to live life continuously in the zone. That is the whole point of meditation. Meditation is training to be Alive.
Second, the zone exists within you. It is not about the activity. You have favourite activities that you love, and you love them at least partially because they bring you closer to absorption in the zone. But it’s not about the thing, it's always about where your attention is.
The ability to control your attention is everything. It is the ability to be focussed and relaxed at the same time. Too much arousal and you become stressed. Not enough and you are bored. There is a sweet spot in any activity, and that sweet spot is the zone.
The easiest way to be in the sweet spot is to be completely absorbed in this moment.
How do you do that?
Notice what is going on in your mind. Bring it back to to now, bring it back to what you are doing. Ignore everything else. Constantly and gently do this and your mind will learn to stay here, in the same place as your body.
Absorption and flow, the zone - it's all right here, right now. Where are you?
I can’t encourage you enough to learn to meditate. A simple tool like the Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension is worth its weight in gold because it makes the return to presence of mind and relaxation of the body so effortless. It makes living a life in the zone inevitable. It makes everything awesome.
Good luck! Enjoy, always enjoy. After all, that is the purpose of life, is it not?
- Arjuna
___________________________ How to be mentally fit, fluid and free www.arjunaishaya.com
The key to staying cool, calm and collected
The key to staying cool, calm and collected is to have little islands in your day, regular little points of detachment from the world where you completely come away from what you are involved in. Spreading these times throughout your day when you stop and reconnect is the key to not losing your peace and fully enjoying what you are doing - whatever that may be.
How you do this is up to you. When I first started The Bright Path Ascension meditation, what was recommended was time in the morning before work, some time in the afternoon - perhaps at lunch and/or on coming home, and last thing at night.
(This is eyes closed time - "power nap" or meditation/breathing time. Anything else is fine, but time closing your eyes is much more beneficial, just so you know.)
This way I had a little "oases" (plural for oasis) so I could start the day right, plug back in so the afternoon was easier, and/or in the evening so I could let go of the day and sleep well.
It quickly made such a difference to my attitude and energy levels.
Doing this means peace is a priority to you. If you commit to these times - not let them be flexible on a if and when basis, but a definite appointment, then you are saying to yourself that remaining clear, calm and content is the most important thing.
It sets a bench mark of calm so its easier to know when you're getting wound up and you need to back down.
Without this benchmark stress just creeps up on you. Sometimes you're not aware of how uptight you're getting simply because most stress comes in little by little, a death by a thousand cuts.
When a weight gets cranked up little by little it goes un-noticed until the straw comes that breaks your back, and you yell at the person who (usually) least deserves it.
With this benchmark you are more prone to take action to stay there. You are more conscious of your physical wellbeing, your internal attitude and mood, everything.
If you're regular with a practice of stopping it means this benchmark of calm is easier to come back to. If you fly off the handle, you can let go and reset quickly. You fly off less, need to apologise less, everyone is happy.
The bottom line is the ability to act - to have clarity of choice - as opposed to reacting, habitually.
There is nothing better than the ability to consciously steer your life in the direction you wish it to go. There is no need to be captive to the ups and downs of life. You want to be captain of your own ship, and you can be, it simply requires a little practice.
Doing something for nothing
“When someone seeks, then it easily happens that his eyes see only the thing that he seeks, and he is able to find nothing, to take in nothing because he always thinks only about the thing he is seeking, because he has one goal, because he is obsessed with his goal. Seeking means: having a goal. But finding means: being free, being open, having no goal.” - Hermann Hesse
Meditation gives you what you need, not necessarily what you want, and definitely not what you expect. The same might be said about life.
The trouble comes when we’re not innocent, when we have a demand or an expectation of an outcome. If you become present and let go of your expectations, then the trouble goes.
You have a goal, you have an intention or whatever, but it’s almost like you allow it to fulfil itself. You dream, do, act, say, all of that, just let go of what happens next. Attachment to an outcome shrinks your perspective, creates resistance and then hurts.
So when you meditate, don't do it to get - anything. Don't do it to get rid of your thoughts, don't even meditate to have peace or to rest. Don't do it for any reason or for any result, just do it and see what happens.
In life, don't anticipate any result from anything that you do or say. Notice especially when you do or say something in order to get something for yourself. Instead, choose and let go. Act and let go.
Try it. If you do so, you will find it – ironically to the mind – very rewarding.
Why meditate?
"The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware, joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware." - Henry Miller
The result of meditation is the ability to not attach to the stuff in your head. It is the ability to be mentally fit, fluid and free.
You develop the ability to purely witness, to allow thoughts and emotions to come and go.
You develop the ability to choose what to focus on.
You gain the ability to enjoy every - every - aspect of your life.
Perhaps there is a negative thought or a worry or a doubt. Meditation isn’t about banishing it, it is about simply letting it be there but not getting wrapped up in it.
It is there, but it isn’t you. You don’t get lost in it anymore. Or if you do, you can choose to let go, simply, effortlessly, immediately.
Meditation in action is when you take this ability to not react to things in life.
So something doesn’t go the way you want it to. You are able to not be affected, to remain calm and clear and see what you can do about the situation - if anything.
You don’t get wrapped up in drama any more. You develop the awareness that being calm and at peace is much more enjoyable, and you know how to choose for it.
You give up your ticket to the rollercoaster - life becomes one steady, super enjoyable, very effective moment. Joy and contentment is the overwhelming response to life.
This is good, that is good, all is good.
From that calmness and clarity comes the ability to live the very best version of yourself.
All through a little practice. A little commitment to being that version of you.
You can do this, it is who you have been all along.
Stop, take a moment from trying to work stuff out or trying to control. Be present and alive to this moment. See the beauty that is here, see the good that is already in your life.
Why would you want to set aside time to meditate?
So you become aware, and in doing so, totally and completely alive.
It's worth it.
How to meditate simply and effortlessly
The overwhelming difficulty so many have with meditation is that they believe they need to empty their minds.
Meditation becomes confused with having an empty head, no thoughts, complete silence in the skull.
Rejoice! For I am to tell you this is not necessary. You can have the busiest mind in the world and still experience peace, calm and clarity.
This alone will make all things in your practice super simple and easy. Maybe it will help you try again if you find meditation hard work. Draw in closer...
Meditation involves no force, no strain, no controlling, no trying whatsoever. So don't start.
Meditation is effortlessly allowing each and every thing. Being aware of all, and sitting in the middle of this awareness.
You don’t have to change a thing, simply change your relationship with everything.
Be totally okay with each thought, emotion, sound, and sensation as it passes through your awareness.
Watch it come, watch it go.
A child can sit and watch. So can you. And so you will, especially with practice.
Make yourself comfortable, close the eyes, take some deep breaths if you like that, and just sit.
Open your senses, be presence itself. Just notice.
Distraction is normal. No deal, come back. It is never a problem unless you make it a problem.
If you have a technique like the Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension, use that simply and gently.
Allow, allow, allow.
This moment is the only moment you can do anything. The past is gone, the future not yet here. Just be here, right in the middle of the moment.
All is well here. Enjoy.
Fear is more closely related to love than you know
A wise man once said that the opposite of love is not hate, it is indifference.
If that is the case, and I believe it is, fear isn’t the opposite of love either.
Fear is actually more closely related to love than you know.
It is an emotional response to the unknown and the uncontrollable.
Some shut down in the face of fear. They try to grab and hold tight until the storm passes.
Others open up.
They know that fear only comes when something is important to you. If it’s not important you would be indifferent, you see?
Fear means it is important to you and therefore can be a reliable indicator to head in that direction, to investigate, to be aware.
When something requires courage to do, don’t delay, don’t dilly dally - therein lies your passion and your purpose. Therein lies what is important and where your love dwells.
Go that way. Don't let fear stop you.
_______________________________
ps. the top quote and the subject for this blog came from a cool book by Steven Pressfield which I just read:
Where are you?
The greatest way to live the best of lives is to spend as much time in the same place as your body as you can. That may sound funny, but humans are the best time travellers. We are anywhere but here in this moment, we are always in the past or future. We live everywhere but in our bodies, we spend an awesome amount of time in our heads.
That is the reason why you enjoy what you enjoy so much, whether it is golf or knitting, climbing rocks or making music, exercising or just sitting, watching.
When you do these things you become very present. You get out of your head, your senses broaden, you become aware.
You become absorbed in the task, and in this moment. It captivates you, invigorates you, you become alive.
But this experience isn’t task or situation specific. I always thought that kayaking brought me so much joy because it was being in nature, it was exciting and it was physically challenging.
It is all these things, but critically I enjoyed it was because it was an escape, and being an escape I let go of my life. My life was somewhere else, but now was now. This was ‘me’ time!
It wasn’t because I was up a river, it was because I let go and focussed on the here and now.
It is the same with everything - It isn’t about what you do, it is always about how you do it.
I realise now that I am better at being present I can have the same buzz from washing the dishes. Being in the outdoors may give me an extra sparkle, but the sense of being alive and absorbed, completely and utterly present to this moment is available no matter what I do.
Letting go of what has been and what will be is the key.
Just now - be awake. Be here. Notice. Be involved in now.
You may live the busiest of lives but you can only do one thing at a time - do that one thing. Be totally absorbed in it. Don’t half-arse do it whilst thinking about what you have to do next.
You will find you become much more efficient, and perhaps more importantly, enjoy yourself much more.
Be alive!
Give yourself an "A"
What would you do if you knew you couldn't fail? How would you be if you knew the future was going to turn out perfectly?
Keep the door of possibility wide open. Go beyond the voice that says you might fail, that something might go wrong, that you are not good enough.
The inner critic can only see limitation, it cannot see potential and possibility. Infinity is far too much for the mind to grasp, and that is why is focusses on the small: on Lack, what you don't have and what might go wrong.
Believe in this and the world gets squashed and grey, and you along with it.
What if you flipped this Lack thought? Do you ever focus on what might go right? That you are more than good enough?
Why not?
Why not embrace an attitude of vision and of possibility? Instead of listening to the "you should" or the "you need to", why not go with the "what if?" and the "how about?"…?
Drop the limitations. They are only imagined, they only have power because you believe them. Instead, give yourself an “A”, in advance - focus on the possibility of the greatness of what could happen.
Assume an attitude that lights up your life, and in doing so lights up the life of all those around you.
Assume an attitude that everything will turn out just fine. Be supremely present in this knowing. How do you live in this knowing?
And why not? Wouldn't this one shift make your life amazing?
Attitude informs everything.
check out Benjamin Zander here in this video for more.
Common spiritual misconceptions #27 - Desires
Once upon a time, I tried living without desires. I’d been reading lots of Buddhist books and it seemed like they talked a lot about desirelessness and how that would make you happy. That’s the trouble with reading things without having someone to ask who actually knows. Having an experienced coach or a teacher makes the path super quick and smooth. There’s no guess work needed on your behalf. There’s no re-inventing the wheel.
But I digress…
So, I tried and I failed. And no wonder - without desire you don’t even get out of bed. You need desire to live, it is what gives your life sparkle. Without desire your life is grey, and a bit pointless.
The only trouble with desire comes when you hold tight to it, when you insist that your happiness depends on a certain desire being fulfilled in a certain way.
Desire is never the deal, its attachment that kicks you.
When you link your happiness with something you will always be disappointed. If you believe you can only be happy on sunny days you are setting yourself up for a lot of time unhappy.
But, if you are happy and content as you are and with what you have, and you enjoy the sun, then sunny days can only make you even happier.
Does that make sense?
Find contentment and gratitude with what you have and who you are. Make that the foundation of every moment. Be in love with your life, exactly as it is. And then go chase what you want to do. Live the life you wish to live. Be and do and have the things you want.
Just discern the difference between living from a foundation of happiness and achieving your desires. Unshackle happiness from desire, and then you can have both. Each and every moment will be a blast, and full, and alive.
Sounds like a good way to live to me.
Know Thyself
Are you aware that you have voices in your head? If you thought “what voice?” that’s the voice I’m talking about. Talking to yourself is nothing to be ashamed of, the fact is people do it all the time. However: In terms of peace of mind, freedom from stress and living the best life possible, you need to be aware of what the voice in your head is telling you.
When you aren’t aware you have no choice. You follow and do and feel and react accordingly to the voice. We’ve lived with the voice in the head for so long we more or less follow what it says.
It’s one result when you go with the voice that says “I’m hungry”, completely another path when you believe the voice that states “I can’t”. Perhaps even more insidious is the voice that goes “I should”.
In awareness you have choice.
In knowing the voice you can create a space of freedom and exploration of what happens when you don’t automatically go with it. The next step stops being a reactive, “what you have always done” movement and starts becoming creative - the consciously living of your life. You can be aware of restrictive or limiting patterns and habits and make other choices.
Choice is the key word, always.
Even just for a couple of minutes, stop and observe your thoughts. In watching you can see what there is in your own head. Let them come, and let them go. If it helps, maybe count them. Assign each one a number as simply as if you were counting clouds in the sky as they pass by.
For each thought there doesn’t have to be a reaction. Every thought can just arise and then fall away to where ever it came from.
Equally, just because you think it, it doesn’t mean it is true. A thought can simply be an idea, a label, an interpretation or an option. Does that make sense?
For example, there doesn’t need to be a link between a “bad” thought and feeling bad - it can simply be an option to choose to feel bad that you don’t take, you just observe and let go.
Just because you have thoughts it doesn’t mean that you are the thoughts. Because you can be aware of the contents of your mind, it means you must be more than those contents. Your thoughts need not define or be the limit of you.
If this is so, if you aren’t your mind, if you aren’t your beliefs, if you have choice, then what are you? Be aware and find out. Know thyself.
It’s worth doing because the most important question to me is always “how do you want to live?”
However that is, don’t live blindly. There is always more beyond the voices. There is always choice. Always.