Patience. Boring?
Perhaps ... with the wrong attitude it is. But I'd say it’s more than just a virtue in life. It’s a necessity.
Why? Because things rarely unfold the way you want them to, do they? Because to become something, anything, it always takes time. Hence – unless you love being stressed and overwhelmed – the importance of patience.
I see a business recently introduced a four day work week (for five day's pay) across the board for all their employees. Before the six-month trial, just over 50% said they were balancing work and life demands. During the 4 day work week it jumped up to 78%. Stress dropped, commitment and productivity increased.
It’s kinda obvious though, isn’t it?
Less time at work means you can do the things you want to do at home. Being paid to work five days when you work four means the financials are the same, you just have more space.
The question that came for me is, “Would you work less for less stress and way better work-life balance but also less money??”
Would you?
Would you quit that job in the city with the hour commute each way for a lesser paid job that meant when you got home you could actually see your kids rather than them be in bed, asleep?
Would you refuse to answer emails and work calls outside of business hours so you could fully and completely be with your family and loved ones in the evenings, as opposed to constantly being at work even when you’re at home?
What's your "Would you?" ... ?
The next question then is, when is it going to stop?
So many people I know talk about when, as in I’ll do something different “when and then” … when I pay off my debts then …, when I get that promotion then …, when I then I … humans in general live a life of when.
Tomorrow never comes does it? Your goal posts always shift. Which means “then” never happens. Sometimes you have to make when and then now … if you truly want it to happen.
I have no easy answers on this one, no simple follow your heart advice. I know what it’s like to have to work to get cash to pay the bills and then get back to work again because the bills aren’t stopping.
But I also know what it’s like to feel I have to work a job and/or conform to a particular working culture because there are no other options – when in reality, there are plenty of options, I’m just too scared to take them.
I also know contentment and space and peace and enjoyment and balance is worth more than any money.
Changing your life situations is sometimes necessary, but also changing your attitude is just the ticket.
Being present, not focusing on all the things you have to do and getting overwhelmed, is key. Stopping to smell the roses and appreciating all the things you do have instead of constantly chasing the next thing is also a huge part of it.
Working out what is truly important to you – to you – what you’re prepared to do and not do, is another chunk of it. Then you know when it’s time to say NO to one thing so you can say YES to everything else.
So often it appears as if there is no alternative. ut there always is. There always is. It’s just that it’s sometimes unknown – and that can be a little scary. Jumping in a taking a small step into the unknown is worth everything though. And you can always go back!
Go well! Arjuna
PS. I guess what I’m saying is examining your life, your attitudes, your ways of doing things is such a great idea. Taking time, regularly, to see if your life is happening the way you want it to is super valuable.
No one wants to be caught on a hamster wheel, but if you live unconsciously that certainly seems to happen, and quickly.
So stop – take stock. Talk about these things with your loved ones. It might be the most important change you make, and let me know how it goes for you.
PPS.
My six month coaching transformation programme “200% of life” is starting up.
If you want to transform your relationship with your mind and all aspects of your life, to have focus, fun and freedom (and never again bewildered, miserable and stuck) then this is for you.
Get in touch and I’ll give you more details!
What ho! How’s things? Apologies for being missing in action recently. Sumati, Bubs and I went away for a week to an island off the west of Scotland called Arran. I thought I’d tee’ed up some emails to go out to you automatically, but looks like I didn’t. Sorry about that.
I tell you something – they have flies over there that bite so hard it hurts. My right arm is still sore and mega-itchy from a gang of flies that mugged me halfway up a mountain. But that’s the only thing that I have to complain about, what with all the sunshine, excellent food, amazing scenery and peoples.
One thing going on holiday does for me is gives me a sense of what’s important. Sure, I come back to an email inbox full to over-flowing, jobs to-do coming out me ears, but going away always gives me a sense of space.
Opening the newspaper and it’s the same madness and chaos that I left. Same stuff, different date. Same problems and challenges too. The thing that is so clear, and something I was talking about with a bunch of people in a video last night, is that the solution to all chaos, all struggle and problems, lies between your own ears.
Someone said that they feel that their mind is one of their biggest hindrances.
The fact is your mind is your ONLY hindrance. The game you play - the inner game - against negativity, limitation, judgement and whatever else is the only game in town. Master that, and you master all problems and stress.
Which is good news! Because you can’t always change the outside world. But you most certainly can learn to change your mind.
Alright? It all starts within. Peace or suffering? Within you. Change your mind, change your life. And good news indeed that is.
Go well, Arjuna
PS. I’m starting an endeavour, one that will not be for everyone - that’s for sure. It’s for the few select people who truly want to master their minds and transform their lives. It’s not a casual course by any means: the programme that we’ll go through is one-on-one and will last six months. It will involve you practicing meditation eyes closed and open every single day. It will be truly transformational.
If you’re interested? Send me an email (just hit reply) and we can talk more about it.
I want to tell you about three lines of words that I hold in great esteem:
__________
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot, The courage to change the things I can, And the wisdom to know the difference. __________
You master those three things and life is sorted for you. Truly. I think serenity, acceptance, courage is pretty self-explanatory, so lets talk wisdom.
Wisdom is learning from your mistakes, and everyone makes mistakes. Mistakes aren’t the deal, it’s always what you do with them.
But the lesser known - and probably more powerful - source of wisdom comes the ability to tune into this moment in time and see what it needs. Seeing what it needs you do or don’t do, as the case maybe.
In helping others, for example, sometimes they need a fish, sometimes they need you to teach them how to fish.
Being present with expectations, prepared, if necessary, to jettison any plans means you can meet the need of this moment in time.
It also means you get to live the life you were born to live, and not the life you think you should live.
Do you see the difference?
You become a source of your own wisdom and guidance. You make take inspiration and guidance from outside sources, true, but you become the expert in your own life.
Instead of waiting for permission for example, you get down and get going on that thing.
Instead of finding out what the right thing is, you learn to know that for yourself.
It’s kind of the part of growing up that we’re not taught - instead often clinging to the apron of someone else’s opinion.
And I don’t mean that in an insulting way, not at all, but stepping up and stepping free means a lot for your life, it really does.
Become the expert of your own life, get super good at being present and wise. It is the best thing you can do for yourself, and everyone around you.
Promise! And what have you got to lose?
Go well, Arjuna
PS. Here’s how to make wisdom part of every single moment. A simple, idea packed free guide: https://mailchi.mp/60dbe4ffeccf/freedom-from-thinking-so-much
So the UK is having a heat wave.
This means figures in the twenties of Celsius degrees, so fairly mild by world standards. Nonetheless, the UK is not made for sun. It’s made for grey, sleet-y drizzle with the occasional mild sunny day. And before you jump on me with hate mail, boy is it a beauty when the sun shines. When.
So given that these isles are not used to the sun, or ready for it necessarily, it is tough when the heat starts to come in.
And with the news that the country's supplies of food grade carbon dioxide are running low have just made it worse.
You may shrug, however ... CO2 is what puts the fizz in soft drinks and … most importantly … beer.
Beer is being rationed, which is a little concerning. How your football fan can watch the World Cup with the threat of rationed beer hanging over them is anyone's guess. They must be made of sterner stuff than I.
I am sure the UK will survive, but it reminds me that it’s a little funny to me that I have an interest in beer at all.
I don’t drink a great deal - not at all - but something cold after a physical afternoon on the river, kayaking my little heart out, is just what the doctor ordered.
Yet when I was younger and less wise than I am now, I thought it wasn’t “good” to drink. That it just wasn’t a thing spiritual people did. That it somehow created mayhem with your chakras. And perhaps it does, perhaps it does, but I haven’t found that - not at all.
I really thought when I started looking for lasting peace, calm, positivity and focus that certain desires were wrong and to be banished from my person through maximum effort.
Imagine how delighted I was to find that this is not the case. That I could have my cake and eat it too.
That there is nothing wrong with anything, only judgement makes it so. And if anything, your spiritual practice "should" be about acceptance and allowing, not judgement.
Now -
Actions have consequences. Certain actions have very strong consequences. If you don’t want those consequences, you have to change your actions.
The easiest and fastest way to transforming your actions, perhaps addictions, isn’t so much suppression and judgement, starts in acceptance and allowance.
That can be the basis for rapid transformation:
_______
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change” — Carl Rogers _______
Of course there is much more to it than that, but it’s a great start.
Go well - stay hydrated out there.
Arjuna
PS. To embrace every single part of your life, fully? To find acceptance and allowance? To get the fortitude to make changes?
Have a look at my free guide:
https://mailchi.mp/60dbe4ffeccf/freedom-from-thinking-so-much
PPS. My father in law is currently begging for rain for his garden. The first decent sun and he wants rain. What is that all about, huh?
Did you see that in the recent news a woman is claiming that drinking her dog’s urine keeps her beautiful (not for me thanks. How about you?),
A teenager got her head stuck in a truck’s modified exhaust after seeing if it would fit (it did, perfectly),
nd a Spanish police dog has been trained to revive people using CPR (where can I get one?)
On what fun!
This world is a marvellous, mad, bizarre place, is it not?
I love it.
The world can be a super enjoyable place - if you remember to keep things in perspective, maintain a sense of humour and stay present and curious. And perhaps your distance from the more energetically bizarre folks out there.
But here’s a bizarre thing that people do and believe: Let me tell you about it - I know it because I did it for a long time.
In the search for a more fun, free, and focused life -
Where you don’t lose it so much, where you stay firmly “on the handle” (as in, not flying off it), of having a life that is free from suffering, overwhelm, negativity … in other words keeping cool and calm and content, enjoying everything so you can be effective in what you do …
People believe that fun is not part of that.
That serenity and acceptance and contentment and presence is somehow a serious thing.
I'm not sure how that ever happened, but allow me to put that one to bed, right now.
All the enlightened people that I have ever met have laughed their little (and large) butts off, all day long. Mirth, joy, chuckles, guffaws, all the ways down to an inner smile … the whole time.
If you want to make sure you enjoy your life more? Do not fall into the trap of believing that any of this is a serious thing.
Hold certain principles as sacred perhaps, but laugh at them nonetheless.
Laughter comes easy, really it does. Seriousness of any kind is actually quite difficult. You can certainly train yourself to be serious, but really, it’s not much fun is it?
A path to heaven need not go through hell. That is your choice, and your choice alone. Just because some people believe that you need to struggle to get to where you want to go, in this thing you do not. No sir and/or madam!
I promise you.
Do not do what I did, which was hedge my bets a little and be a touch serious just in case. It is not necessary, ever.
The best way you can repay anyone’s love and kindness? Have a sensationally enjoyable life. And the best revenge - if you want to focus on that sort of thing? (Which I don’t really recommend, but up to you…) Exactly the same. Enjoy yourself, to the maximum.
OK?
Go well! Arjuna
PS. I really am quite excited about my book, 200% - an Instruction Manual for Living Fully. I’ve been working on polishing it, and it gotten quite a shine. It’s with the proof-reader as we speak, then it will head to the designer, and then you can get your hands on it!
I know I’ve been telling you about it forever but it’s coming closer to being available, truly. I will let you know as soon as I do. Super cool.
I wrote something recently about mobile phones, and how switching them off from time to time can make a world of difference to your life.
Someone tried this in the morning, and was delighted. She said: “The mornings became mine again” – I think that is so great.
There’s two ways your mornings can go –
One is firing out the door, late again, yelling at the kids to get a move on, coffee in one hand, important whatevers in the other hand, holding the car keys in between your teeth, stress and anger already building.
Or you can take steps so that you enjoy your morning, walking out the door ready for whatever the day brings, calmly, content, with a smile on your lips and a song in your heart. With a sense of perspective, a sense of being centred and able to enjoy your morning endeavours.
Which one do you want?
“Win the morning, win the day” is a saying I’ve heard being bandied about, and it’s true. You start the way you intend to continue, rather than trying to get your mojo back on the hoof, which is a lot harder.
In getting an enjoyable, as well as effective, kind of day a little planning and preparation goes a long way:
Turning your phone off could be something you do just to give yourself time and space before the world rushes in. Closing your eyes to meditate, to breathe, to really centre yourself … a brilliant idea. Taking some time to journal, to plan, to remind yourself of what is important (not urgent - big difference) … very good too.
Imagine that … a great start to your day rather than a frazzled, stressed one. And depending on your family set up, perhaps it means just waking a little bit earlier to make sure you can give yourself some time.
Now that may mean you can't stay awake to the early hours watching Netflix. Boring? Yet a small sacrifice means a huge payoff the next day. Everything is so much more enjoyable, and manageable.
How about it? Something for you to consider.
Go well! Arjuna
PS. How to switch off and be present? Here's a free guide for you: https://mailchi.mp/60dbe4ffeccf/freedom-from-thinking-so-much
My favourite thing, without a doubt, is more favourite than even eating food in a glorious Greek taverna, sitting in the shade under a canopy of wine vines, ordering and re-ordering little plates of goodness.
More favourite than going to see a really good movie, reading a really good book, chatting with Sumati about something really good, swimming in the surf, exploring and travelling and meeting up with great people … more favourite than all that even.
It is kayaking.
I love it. I went last night and had to be dragged from the river, kicking and screaming. “One more” I cried, like a deranged hamster begging for another lap on the wheel of joy.
Now I know it’s not for everyone, but it really lights my fire. Really.
What lights your fire?
What makes you come alive?
It’s so important. Life can become that other hamster wheel, the one of “must do to survive” and that's a drag. Its easy to forget the why - as in the why you are alive.
These things are crucial to you, and yet it is so easy to let them slip on by. They put lead in your pencil, a spring in your step.
You may have to schedule, you may have to negotiate to get the time. But, and I don’t often say this, you have to do it. You have to find a way of getting that time in.
It may not be a lot, but make the time, and appreciate that time. It is the difference between living with a spring in your step and a slump in your shoulders.
Alrighty?
Awesome!
What does any of this have to do with meditation?
Meditation for me is all about being more alive. It enables you to live supremely well, no matter what you’re doing. It means you can rest in that sense of joy and absorption no matter if you’re doing that thing you love, or the ironing (which I do not love, no I do not).
It makes life a joy, and it brings it all to life.
I can’t think of a better thing for everything you want to do and get from your life. I really can’t.
So if you want to know how to really do it?
Here's a free guide to getting the most out of life:
https://mailchi.mp/60dbe4ffeccf/freedom-from-thinking-so-much
Questions? Let me know!
Go well, Arjuna
As you read this I will be on the small island of Patmos, Greece.
It’s a lovely hunk of rock - sunny, cute whitewashed houses, a ginormous castle right on the top - a huge block of “no way are you getting in here if you we don’t want you to” …
Of course, it has calamari and greek salads and yogurt and snorkelling in beautifully clear water and all that.
But it also is the site of John of the Revelation’s cave.
It’s a seriously cool place.
It has a sensational vibeto it. A great spot to hang out, to meditate, to contemplate. I would say it’s one of those places in the world where you just have to visit, whatever your beliefs - if you like places that relax, that give you an expanded sense of self, this is one of them.
Now I’m not much into energy- I mean, I feel it, I recognise it when people and places are relaxed and joyful, when they are tense and stressed.
So do you, right?
You know when you walk into a room when there’s just been argument. You know when you’re talking to someone who has nothing to prove, nothing to hide - you just relax around them, you can be yourself.
But like emotions, energy is just movement. It’s something that comes and goes. It’s not a crucial factor in a good life, although many people get lost in it, constantly search for the “right” energy and all of that - while the rest of us who are differently wired roll our eyes.
The cool thing is you create your own energy.How you are in within yourself, like I mentioned above, creates a feel, a vibe that others recognise - even if it’s not a conscious recognition.
In all your relationships - at home, at work - what impresses other people, what makes them relax and feel safe is all down to your inner workings.
Your presence speaks louder than words.
And it’s not, despite what a lot of people still think, about proving yourself, elevation, being better, not at all.
The best vibe, as I said, comes from a complete and utter acceptance and allowanceof who you are in this moment.
This - again despite what a lot of people think - has nothing to do with giving up or being a walk over, and everything to do with, like I said, having nothing to prove and nothing to hide. I don't really know how else to describe it.
When you don’t feel like you need to bolster yourself or to appear a certain way, everyone is attracted to you. And the funny thing is, you don’t care. You’re not trying to.
Being present and immersed in this moment in time ... that is the greatest thing you can do for anyone - and definitely not running around like a headless chicken “doing” for people.
Make your foundation, as it's been said many times, about being - not doing.
So create your own vibe. Be at peace. Accept yourself. You ARE way more than enough.
Go well! Arjuna
PS. If you like the sound of the above, then here’s the how, a free guide (actually two!):
Did you see the story about the Australian 12 year old who booked flights to, and hotels, in Bali, flying there by himself, checking into his hotel, only to be busted when they started looking for him as he didn’t show up for school?
I thought - how awesome.
His mum? Not so impressed!
“Shocked, disgusted. There’s no emotion to feel what we felt when we discovered that he had left overseas,” she said.
I imagine he must be a handful, I get that, perhaps being his mum and dad would be a constant nightmare … however … at 12 years old doing all that by yourself? To me, that is not so disgusting as amazing.
At 12, I was crying at the bus stop when I realised I’d caught the wrong bus to the wrong part of town.
“It was great,” he said. “Because I wanted to go on an adventure.”
YES!
Give him a medal and a pat on the back for being so awesome - and clever too. (Just maybe hide your credit cards.)
I don’t know about you - maybe you have a 12 year old son who is a touch wilful and this just gives you the willies … but I think having a more adventurous attitude is so cool.
Now - you don’t HAVE to go anywhere to do this, you don’t have to reinvent yourself … but even just trying something a little different is such a boost to you.
A new class, a new route home, a new recipe, wandering down that street that you wonder where it goes to, going over and saying hello rather than thinking about it …
You don’t have to play the same old roles, have the same old conversations, get into the same old dramas, wish the same wishes without making them happen …
YOU don't have to, and how freeing would that be?
A touch of bravery and life opens up extraordinarily just with a few different choices.
And why not? As someone once said, there’s free cheese in the mice traps but the mice there aren’t happy.
Stay safe with what you know and have done? Or branch out and try something different, do something different, be someone different.
And why not?
Go well! Arjuna
PS. Want to be a touch more brave? More adventurous perhaps?
In this meditation guide I give you the exact tools that show you your inner limitations and stories and allow you to go beyond them, effortlessly:
Want to be a smiley yellow ball? Of course you do! Read on ...
To live a life where you’re excited rather than stressed and drained, content and grateful rather than dissatisfied, fully present and focused rather than spending all your time regretting the past and worried for the future, being a wonderful role model, anchor and inspiration for your loved ones, as opposed to letting that snappy, grumpy beast out …
When you stop and put your mind to it, when you nurture that, this life can come quite simply. It does.
The Good is always here, and many times it just takes a reminder to open your eyes to see it. When you see it, you live it - every part of your life responds.
How do YOU remind yourself to live the Good, nay Great, life?
What do YOU do to stop and connect with and nurture that really best version of you?
I know it’s easier, sometimes, to just go through the motions of life. I know it can sometimes be easier to grump and whine and all the rest of it. I know it can sometimes be easier to get into a habit of rushing around trying to get all your jobs done and responsibilities out of the way and “then I’ll get to take time to connect and nurture the inner …”
But I know this for sure:
Look after the inner first and the outer follows sweetly and smoothly.The inner connection makes everything Great, and Greater. It means you can sail through the tough times.
If you like quotes, because I certainly do, Meister Eckhart, that groovy German monk from way back, once said the very same thing: ________
“What we plant in the soil of contemplation, we shall reap in the harvest of action.” ________
So see it as a practice. See it like brushing the teeth of your soul, nutrition for your Being. Something you do everything single day.
Put yourself in the way of inspiration and reminders and the Good, and reap the benefits.
(That’s your homework for today by the way.)
Go well! Arjuna
PS. It’s the very reason I close my eyes and meditate every day. It’s the very reason I hang out with fun, inspired, inner anchored people as much as possible. It’s the very reason I teach and share all this stuff:
Inspiration and reminding and deepening of the Good in every moment and in every part of my life.
Here's a free guide on exactly how to do that:
It’s so easy to get lost in the busy-ness of the world, of your life, isn’t it? Trying to avoid overwhelm and anxiety, sleeplessness and regret … just getting through the day.
Surviving ... all so the weekend will be your time to live. And then of course, if you are like I was, losing a big chunk of your weekend cos you’re dreading the return of Monday.
Now I knew life could be better. I did. I didn’t know what to do, but I wanted to find out.
I wanted to find the point of being human.
So, here’s the reason I started meditating, why I made some small but not insignificant changes in my life, and pretty much what I stand for now, and all what it might mean for you.
(Just so you know, the photo is what you get when you search for "Flow". Maybe it's about squeezing all the juice from life? Hmmmm... that would work!)
Here we go:
Do you remember an amazing moment in your life? You’ll be able to remember at least one, I’m sure, if not more.
It’s the thing that links us humans … these moments, these precious moments of Aliveness.
It matters not what you were doing, but that you were fully immersed in the task or the moment. Whether it was knitting or reading or kayaking down a river or sitting by a fire, you were captivated, rapt, fully involved, absorbed.
Sometimes, like me, you might have had a heightened sense of reality.Time might have slowed, intuition peaked, you might have known what was going to happen before it happened. There was zero doubt, just inspired action.
I had these moments in kayaking and being in the mountains but also cooking, hanging out with buddies, dancing on a hill top until dawn, at work (of all places) too … the key thing is that it’s not about WHAT you were doing, but HOW you were doing it.
Alive, fully alive … such a great way of living.
Many of us forget these moments. I didn’t. I wanted more of that, so much more, but had no idea of the how, no idea at all.
Psychologists are calling this Flow, and are trying to work out the how. People generally “fall” into it by mistake (I know I did) but with advanced brain scanning and bigger, better science they’re getting closer to this answer.
The amazing thing is that - the way I personally see it- this state of Flow can be switched on by experienced meditators at will, by choice.
True - and if anyonecan choose to have these moments ALL the time? You can too.
Everything I’m reading about Flow is replicable by getting good at the following:
Being present and super focussed in this precise moment in time.
That’s it.
That's it, in a nutshell, of course.
That seems to be the conclusion psychologists are coming to, too. That you can meditate to end stress and limitation, or you can meditate so you can be SO alive stress and limitation doesn’t exist.
To get this, you couldthrow yourself off a mountain top with a parachute attached, or if that doesn’t appeal, you can learn to be Alive no matter what you are doing.
You can have a state of Flow that is caused by something, or you can learn to choose for it regardless of where you are and what you are doing.
I’d rather be free to choose … then doing the dishes or looking after Bubs becomes a whole new world of fun.
Conclusions?
Don’t settle for less. Each and every moment of your life, no matter what it entails, can be so much more.
The answer lies not in what you do, but how you do it. Your attitude and your focus is key.
Flow is a skill. Your human brain can learn these states - in fact it takes a ton less energy to exist in these states and not only does enjoyment goes through the roof but effectiveness too.
Flow takes practice. The more you do it, the more you master it. Or maybe it masters you? (oooh!)
What do you think? Gives a whole new dimension to motivation for regularly sitting with your eyes closed, doesn’t it?
Go well! Arjuna
PS. Here’s the PS - there’s always one, isn’t there? -
I did a lot of searching for what would end stress and bring Flow and Aliveness to my life. Here’s an excellent guide on getting started with this. And it's free;
I love sushi! Don't know about you, but it is one of the world's best foods. I once had sushi in Mexico and it came with grilled cheese and Jalapenos. Now that was unexpected.
Now - what does this have to do with taking time for yourself? Well, read on:
The single hardest thing about life is simply stopping and sitting down. Resting? "Waste of time!" people think all the time.
It's crucial though - to switch off, to get off the hamster wheel of life, to give yourself a moment or two to reconnect, to get that half-step back, to get energy, enjoyment, perspective.
Now meditation? That is rest, supercharged. It really is. The practice itself (should) be simple and straight forward and relaxing, and as such, enjoyable (although there are some tough practices out there). It brings a wealth of benefits to all that practice.
However, even experienced meditators can have trouble just sitting down: They’re on the go, things to see, people to do, and time is always short.
“It’s not the right time - I’ll do it later”.
I think people think there is no price to pay for keeping on pushing. Because the price is paid later you think you can keep delaying.
It’s just like one of those all you can eat sushi trains where the delicious sushi comes around time and time again, right under your nose.
You think “Another one? Why not? It’s only £3 for that plate”.
Yet by the time your waiter comes to tally up your bill, all those small bites of sushi add up to a mighty fine reckoning, don't they?
The bill you get, when it arrives, and surely it arrives because there is always a waiter taking count. And it's always huge! I'm always thinking "How can I ever possibly have eaten THAT much sushi?" But it's true.
Why not just pay "the bill" as you go?
There is no such time as the right time - you just have to make time.
But you have to, otherwise you’ll just be in the same mental loops, doing the same things, involved in the same negative, limiting patterns, sucked into stress and worry and anger. No peace of mind. No calm, clarity.
Take time, make time, make it part of your daily ritual. Do it and tell me how life is from there, ok?
Go well young grasshopper. There is life to be lived - not just survived, but lived well! Arjuna
PS. Here is an excellent way of setting up an “investment” so you will always have enough for the bills and extra to spend anytime you want and/or need. And it's free:
One of the proudest moments of my life (in hindsight) was walking away from a bungy jump.
Darn computer wants to change it to “bunny jump.” That’s a whole new thing altogether, isn’t it?
I was just writing about the very thing below in my book. It is so close to being finished I can smell it.
Here's kind of an adapted extract. A longer read for you.
Before we get to jumping off bridges - let’s talk about risk for a moment.
Risk — and fear — is an extremely personal thing.
Risk is necessary to move forward in any part of life. Your mind hates risk, it likes comfort: “Don’t do anything!” it says “you might fail.”
Comfort is good, but inaction isn’t, really, is it? So moving forward in life involves getting comfortable with risk, with possibly failing, definitely with making mistakes and seeming a little silly, even stupid, sometimes.
But with risk, I’m not talking about being irresponsible, I’m not talking high-risk gambling with finances or life and limb. I’m talking about not being afraid of fear, of testing your comfort zone. What you will see, however, is the more you test your comfort zone, the more you will come to re-define what your mind suggests is irresponsible.
But understand the scale of that risk is completely up to you, don’t let anyone pressure you.
Anyhow — this is where the bunny, err, bungy, jump comes in.
I was terrified, but really wanted to do it. They strapped me in, did the count down, and … I didn’t jump. The operators counted again, again I hesitated. They mocked me, told me to “strap it on.” Needless to say, that wasn’t the right approach.
I was ashamed as I walked away, the jump untaken, but later I was proud of myself. Jumping off any height is a huge deal for me, and I wanted the experience to be something, for want of a better word, “beautiful.” The conditions weren’t right and so, despite the pressure, walking away was the only option.
Risk — and fear — is an extremely personal thing. Becoming more aware of your fears, your resistances, your limitations and choosing to do something even slightly different in any sphere of life, is a bold and beautiful thing. Truly.
Setting aside the fears of my mind and focusing on what needs to be done to get down a hard rapid in my kayak is a beautiful thing (to me), but so was over-coming my fears about commitment and fully committing to my now wife. That took a serious leap, just as running rapids does.
Being a father involves risk as well: “what if we’re doing it wrong?” There’s so much conflicting advice and personal experience out there about everything, not to mention your own intuition — you just have to choose a path that seems right to you. Sometimes you just have to leap. No matter what part of your life you meet fear or your perceived scale of your steps forward, give yourself a pat on the back for not backing down.
Well done for picking up the true invitation of fear and risking being curious about what is on the other side of that fear of failure, the fear of seeming silly or stupid to someone else.
It’s not easy, I know, but it is rewarding. Authenticity, not hiding, not being afraid any more.
So — take encouragement and inspiration from others, but not pressure. You may never throw yourself off a bridge with an elastic band attached, and you don’t have to if you don’t want to.
Risk something, commit to something, but do it your way.
Go well! Arjuna
PS. The greatest tool, to me, to come to terms with fear is meditation. You see it for what it is: your mind’s smoke and mirrors. Your mind’s attempt to keep you inactive and small and comfortable.
Here’s a free guide that will get you started: www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff
A question from a reader on this fine morning -
“Are addictions a means of escaping something deeper?”
And my answer was -
“Could be, most certainly they could be.” (how’s that for definite?- Ha!)
You see, they don’t even need to be very “bad” addictions, like heroin or cheesecake or something. They can be anything to distract or numb or sedate even.
We are very good at attempting to run away from big decisions - somehow sitting on the fence seems so much easier than actually jumping and committing to a course, any course, of action doesn’t it?
We are also very good at avoiding looking at an part of our lives that may not be wholly satisfying too. Where we are obviously compromising and suffering because of it.
Distraction and sedation seems like a great option. “If I dig deep into something else, perhaps the decision or the problem will go away …”
And anything will do - reading, TV, shopping, eating, exercise, travel … knitting … cheesecake ... You can try anything in the attempt to cover up.
What I was personally trying to cover up was this annoying voice at the back of my head that would spout “Is THIS is? Is this ALL your life is about? What is the POINT?” all the time.
It was massively confusing, even depressing, because I had all my external, “facts of life” (not those facts) covered - great house, job, friends, hobbies, everything I wanted, I had.
None of it would quieten that inner voice of dissatisfaction. Weird huh?
I tried so hard to cover it up with more and more of the externals - and nothing worked. The more I tried, the more dissatisfied I got. The fact was that I had no internal wellbeing. No stability at all. No connection with my spiritual anchor. I couldn’t choose to be happy no matter what.
Funny old thing - it took so little to fill that inner hole but it made a huge difference to everything I did. All the “externals” came alive. A little bit of time nurturing my inner self and my outer world got so much more satisfying.
I no longer needed to do anything, I wanted to. A huge difference.
AND all the stress, struggles, overwhelm, the self-doubt and the self-criticism … all of that started to fade away too.
It’s one of the most important things you can do - sort out your inner life … your inner spiritual anchor, get the ability to be happy and at peace no matter what. Because then every decision, every compromise, every cause of stress, every thing gets simpler, more straightforward.
You hide no longer - which is an amazing thing. Your life gets better and better and better.
How about that then?
Go well! Arjuna
PS. Getting the ability to be able to sort out your inner life and choose your own happiness - to have it uncaused - is simply a matter of practicing the right things. Few people actually know these things. If you want to know?
I have a free guide here, detailing exactly what you need to do:
If there is one thing I could tell my younger self, it would be the following. It would save so much heart ache, stress and delay I can’t tell you how much.
I feel it’s possibly very important for you too, that’s why I sat down and tapped this out. So pay attention - yes, you at the back, you too!
I don’t have much more of a story around this, so let’s get started:
My practice of the Bright Path Ishayas Ascension could be seen as a practice of transformation. It’s a practice that allows you to become that great version of you. Any meditation practice worth it’s salt (which, if I’m brutally honest, there are surprisingly few, actually) will do the same.
The fact is that great version of you already exists. Right here, right now.
You ARE it.
A practice such as Ascension takes away the blocks that stops you from being and living that, right now.
It may well transform you in ways you might not even know, but the beauty, the simplicity, the truth is that you are already what you seek.
Stop waiting.
It’ll take courage. It will. I don't care how brave you think you are, this is the real test.
One of the most courageous things you can do is live like there is nothing wrong with you, that you ARE enough, that you need NOTHING else to live the life you’re supposed to.
(and if you do need something? You’ll be shown it, you don’t need to seek it out).
Stop waiting for change. If you can’t change it now, work with what you have. This is it, stop postponing, stop waiting for a better future moment, a better future you.
This is not a practice of becoming, even though you become.
This is a practice of no-holds barred LIVING, because there is no time like the present, because there is no better version of you coming in some better future moment.
Grip the bull by the horns and dance, by the light of the moon if you like poetry, but dance now. Don’t sit on the sidelines, WAITING … OK? Good. Go well!
Arjuna
PS. Want a piece of THAT pie?
Here's 2 free guides to get started, right now:
www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff
PPS. Hows the picture for a shaggy dance partner?
(<--- Here's a picture of how being kind to yourself which allows you to be awesome might look)
Last blog I talked about President Obama and how he constantly taught his daughters to “be kind, be helpful”.
But how can you be kind and be helpful to others unless you also are kind and helpful to yourself?
I feel like I talk about this a lot, but it’s such a big thing.
It really IS a big thing - honestly - the voice in your head is so unforgiving about you and your mistakes. You will drive yourself into the ground trying to prove all manner of things to that voice and what you believe the people around you want you to be.
Being kind and being helpful to everyone begins within you.
Understanding that the voice of harshness and criticism doesn’t need to be listened to is a great start. Being aware of it but not following it (the half-step back) is super kind and helpful - to you.
Then it can run out of steam, run out of momentum - no longer are you swimming in negativity and you can also shift to appreciation. You can celebrate what you have done, what you have achieved, how great you actually are. You can understand that you’re doing your best and tomorrow you’ll do better.
When you do master that voice, you are truly able to be kind to anyone and everyone. Without mastering that voice? You cannot be truly kind, not fully.
Any worth while project in life always has its foundation within.
Mastering the inner game means you master the outer game. Take the time to come to grips with all your learned and limited beliefs and habits and you’ll be able to live as the very best version of you.
Alrighty? You’re awesome.
Go well! Arjuna
PS. Mastering the inner game … being able to be kind even to that voice of harshness and doubt and criticism and negativity? Here's a free guide to doing just that:
I was reading an article by former President Obama’s official photographer recently. This guy lived in Obama’s pocket for several years, so got to know Obama very well.
The thing that struck me was what Obama repeatedly told his daughters - and given the world and it’s seeming current emphasis on division and trolling and arguments and “I’m right and you’re wrong”, I think it’s particularly apt.
Obama always told his daughters: “Be kind, be helpful”.
You’re never too big to help and to be kind. In fact, the more success you enjoy, the more important it is to help where you can and to be kind.
It takes so little to think of someone else but it makes a world of difference - not only in creating a better world but also for you. Countless studies have shown the personal power of having an attitude of being of service, of giving to others - you win when you give.
So why not, why not have an attitude to be kind and be helpful, where you can? What you give is exactly what you tend to get.
The things that will stop you doing this and make you self-absorbed? Exhaustion and tiredness is one. They mean you get snappy, you get selfish, it all becomes about you and what you can get. And that is a very small, grey world indeed.
Take time to recharge so you can live the life you want to live, be that awesome version of you.
Alrighty?
Go well, Arjuna
PS. Let me know if I can help with any of this, ok? PPS.
“Be kind, be helpful” is one of the things that come very quickly just from a practice of meditation and mindfulness. I've written a snazzy (and free) guide for you, if you're interested:
One of the members of my Facebook group for my free 7 day mindfulness challenge said something there recently that is pure magic:
“When you get present and aware, you realise that the small things are actually the big things”.
That is SO true, and such a rewarding perspective. What a slice of wisdom (my favourite slice, closely followed by pizza slice) -and she knows it because she experiences it, it's not just a nice bunch of wise words - they are lived. All the seemingly big "important" stuff? All the stuff that takes up most of your attention? Your to do list with all it’s haste and hustle and bustle and what not?
They ARE important, but at the same time they aren't really that important - at the end of the day - are they? ... and that is the clarity you get.
The small stuff, the things you probably take for granted? Like when Bubba is trying to get my attention and I just want to finish one more line of ... this. She won't be trying to get my attention forever ... yet her little smile is the most important thing in the world to me.
When you practice mindfulness and meditation you actually start to live a life aligned with what is TRULY Important to you, and that is a very very satisfying way to live life.
So this isn't just a nice trick to deal with stress, it's the way you discover what it means to truly be alive. Then you can really shine!
That’s what I reckon anyway - why not give it a try and prove me wrong? Go on.
Go well! Arjuna
PS. Here you go - some things you want to learn that will make you wise. Simple, powerful, relaxing, transformative:
www.arjunaishaya.com/freestuff
Live the wisdom! Be the wisdom!
You can never have too much reminders or inspiration.
I did a little webinar the other night for people who have already learnt the Ishayas’ Ascension meditation and one of the things that people were saying the morning after is how great they feel, what a difference a simple reminder makes.
And it’s true … it’s so easy to get stuck in your own little world, your own same old routines and attitudes and habits … and one of the ways of staying reminded is to hang out with people on the same wavelength as you - OR hang out with people on the wavelength you want to be on.
Here's a photo of people "connecting" if you don't know how to do it (or something like that ---->)
You can never have too much reminders or inspiration. It’s simply impossible to overdose on these things. It’s so simple to make the effort to connect in too - but often we don’t realise how important it is until we’re in the middle of being inspired.
Your mind will tell you simply, “I can do it all by myself” - and you can and you should in that you are the one that has to practice - no one can do that for you - but you and your practice becomes so much more when soaking in good company.
Now - at this point people will say “But I’m all alone, I have no community around me”. With the advent of the internet you have all the community you can handle. The internet isn't just 
pictures of cute dogs you know.
All that is required is for you to stop being “too busy” and set aside the time to tap into that. The next step is to be bold enough to risk looking silly and ask all the questions you have.
Alrighty? What are you going to do today to stay connected?
Good stuff - go well! Arjuna
PS. Want a slice of one of my favourite communities? They are so cool. To join us, head this way for a 7 day mindfulness challenge: https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/
