What is success to you?

My daughter climbed the stairs this morning for the first time. What have you achieved?

Ha! I’ll tell you what I’ve done in terms of productivity: nada.

I have been taking some time off after a great spell of teaching, spending time with my two bubbas, resting, Ascending, cooking, walking, reading. In the meantime emails are backing up, messages are going unanswered. It is a great joy to NOT attend to all that, just for a day or two.

Interesting how our culture confuses success solely with doing and with productivity, right?

Trouble is - and I would say just about everyone suffers from this - no one has any balance. Everyone is stressed and exhausted. Trying to do everything all at once. No rest and recharge, no getting things in perspective, very little kicking back - just more and more exhaustion along with the subsequent reacting, flying off the handle, getting sick, all the time.

Success, true success that is, changes. Success is different to you, all the time.

Expectations - those sometimes ridiculous over the top expectations - don’t change. Those thoughts that say you should do this, that, and the other thing, all with the perfect hair (being bald means perfect hair is a given - unless we’re talking the comb over; now that is hard to pull off) …

But expectations are never about listening, tuning in to what you need to do right now. Force comes in over fluidity, you push and you push and yet sometimes the most successful thing you will do all day is climb the stairs. Or see your daughter’s smile as she reaches the top for the first time.

Check out your mind, your patterns, your shoulds and insistences. Be aware of forcing something. Sometimes the greatest thing you can do is take a complete break. Sometimes the greatest thing you can do is back off.

The more you do it, the more you find you get so much from it.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS. I have a little mindfulness/awareness programme that will help with making sure you get little mini-breaks during the day.

Head this way to get the details, and the link to join the Facebook group for some excellent reminders to help you remember:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

The power of the “Meh” factor

What is this “Meh” factor I talk of?

A long time reader has recently informed me how grateful he is for the gift of increased “Meh” that has come from putting into practice my ways contained within these emails and the courses I teach.

You see - the Meh factor is when you practice this stuff and come to a point where you can’t be bothered being provoked. You can’t gather enough energy to respond to someone attempting to push your buttons. You can’t muster enough caring to outburst, instead, at best you roll your eyes and just go “Meh”.

By practicing presence and calm it actually gets harder to rise to unexpected news and/or someone baiting you. Isn't that wonderful? It takes real effort to get angry.

It’s a brilliant response too, for those loved ones around you who love to poke you with a long stick, just to see if they can make you react - you know, otherwise known as “teenagers” (but obviously not confined to just them).

When you can’t be bothered playing their games? They are left very confused, very confused indeed. Like a balloon that has all their air removed.

It always takes two to tango, and when you don’t dance, they have to change their tune. Or some kind of metaphor along those lines …

And how wonderful. What is left for you is calm, contentment and perspective. A realisation that you can change your habits of reacting and outbursting and take control of your own peace.

So here's to the “Meh” factor!

May you have plenty of it, so you can focus your energies on what you really want to focus on. Hurrah!

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

I’m all out of courses for this year. Done and dusted beyond a few things if you've already learnt to Ascend. There'll be more in the new year for sure which I'll let you know about.

But - if you’re interested in grabbing a free 15 minute coaching call before then, I’m giving a bunch away soon.

Here’s the link if you want one:

http://www.arjunaishaya.com/contact/ 

Loosening that death grip of control

When you’ve been out of the world for over a week, it teaches you a certain kind of humility. This humility comes when you realise everything is ticking along completely as normal - without you.

I was not required for reality to function.

Isn’t that disappointing? I’m irrelevant to the functioning of the world. And I thought I was such a big shot! Ha. Shows me.

It’s kinda cool though - like, if you just sit with me in this moment; just be here … this also requires nothing, does it? Needs nothing, requires nothing - this moment just ticks over.

You can let out a sigh, if you like.

My job - and your job - can be just to sit and watch and as it unfolds, applause - “Hurrah!”

Now I know that sounds dangerously like doing nothing. Like leaving the ship to steer itself, and if it steers itself, then surely it’ll end up on the rocks!

Or just turning circles.

The fascinating thing is that control of your destiny only needs a light touch - nothing heavy handed at all. But what I mean is sometimes it feels like if you stop steering, the world will crash. Nature itself will end.

“I MUST stay in control! I CANNOT take a break”

You live your life - and every body else’s - with your hands so tight on the steering wheel, white-knuckled, you can’t even pause to change the radio. It’s a grip - actually - of pure fear.

The amazing thing is you're also attempting to steer everyone’s ships in the direction you think they should be going too. Which is an incredible feat of skill - or something.

HOWEVER, maybe you’re right - but beyond a suggestion or two, if you do it for them, they’ll never learn to do it for themselves, will they?

Keeping your hands to yourself and getting rid of the grip, two very useful lessons in life.

That is, if you’re interested in living an easier life - one that is stress free, empty of overwhelm, enjoyable, free - where you skip off into the sunset … that kind of life.

It can be done.

The fascinating thing is as you let go of such overwhelming control, how bizarre, how tiring, how sometimes actually frightening, such control is when you see it in someone else.

Anyhoo, I’m done. This little virus is still being sweated out and I feel like a cup of tea and a lie down for a moment.

Let me have any questions!

Go well,

Arjuna

PS.

Almost forgot - everyone is learning this to some degree. Do not feel like you’re the only one, you are SO not. You can learn to “let go” - and you must, really, for a happy, healthy, balanced life.

Here’s where I would start if I wanted to learn to let go - just a little bit every day - 

It's a really cool, free challenge to becoming free of stress, complete with guide:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

Take it easy!

Not what you’ve been sold, is it?

In this day and age where being super busy is a twisted sign of honour and social standing … “I am SO busy, therefore I am important and involved in great works”.

Meditation is sold as a means to be more productive, to focus harder, get clearer and more energetic. To achieve, because if you’re not achieving you’re taking up space, and wasting your life …

And meditation certainly does help with focus and clarity; however ...

This "achieve" way of living can also mean you feel guilty for taking a break, for taking some air, for slowing down and smelling the roses. In other words, truly appreciating your life.

Truly tasting your coffee, playing with your kids, connecting with your partner, recharging your batteries, looking after your health, your mental wellbeing …

“I’ve got no time for that” says that mad man/woman in your head.

Sigh.

The fact is meditation gives you what you NEED, not necessarily what you WANT, and most definitely not what you EXPECT.

Sometimes you embark on a regular practice of meditation and instead of entering this hyper achieve, hyper productive mode like you think you SHOULD, all you want to do is do nothing - indeed, all you CAN do is relax and rest, because it would seem you’re more tired than usual.

It’s a good sign you’ve been burning the candle at both ends for a while now. You’ve been exhausting yourself and you didn’t even know it.

Your body is taking the chance to catch up, to really re-energize. Not a short term fix, not a cup of coffee and keep going, but a real chance to heal and recharge on a much deeper level than you’ve allowed yourself for a long time.

It doesn’t meet your plan, I know. But if you’re open and go with it you’ll be given a way of living that is full and rich - not just sustainable but nurturing, truly Alive.

Something like the Bright Path Ishayas' Ascension meditation tunes you into a way of living that is fluid, non-demanding and non-insisting. And what a way to live that is. When you’re ready to go, you go; when you need to rest, you rest.

Tune in. Stop insisting and demanding. Get real balance. You’ll be so much happier and ironically, way more productive.

Alrighty?

Let me know how you’re going with all this.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

Want some beautifully simple tips on living this truly balanced fluid way?

Here you go - FREE to you:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

The most little known yet super effective way of helping someone

Question from someone that came in yesterday, and it’s a doozy:

___________

Do you believe in feeling other people's pain because there are a hell of a lot of hurting people out there.

People who have lost their soul mate of 30 years, like me. War torn families, famine, then there’s all the muggings, burglary. So many people are not happy, they are damaged and hurting and ill-treated etc.

How do you account these things? I can't just close my eyes to someone else's suffering, it's selfish and insensitive.

___________

You’re right, there is so much suffering in the world, so much misery and confusion. People are hurting and ill-treated and unhappy.

How can you help?

Especially when it’s someone close to you, your kids, your partner, your family - you want to help, and if you could take the pain away from them, you would, right?

You want to DO something - and so there’s a tendency to feel someone’s pain as if it was your own, because it feels like helping. Then there’s that commonly held belief that not feeling means you’re closing your eyes to their suffering. It’s selfish not to, correct?

But how does this help them?

How does you being miserable as well assist them?

I’m not talking about not acknowledging and being sensitive to someone’s pain, I’m not talking about not doing what you can to help them out - but throwing yourself in the pit with them is not useful, to either of you, AT ALL.

What they need is for you to be standing on solid ground. At peace, calm, clear, with your sense of humour about you. You then become their anchor in the middle of the chaos.

When all their certainty and stability is gone, when it’s all been thrown up in the air, you act as their rudder, their point of reference, their lighthouse in the dark.

Alright?

So no need to suffer. They need you to not suffer - they need you solid and dependable, not dramatic and wobbly.

Best thing you can do for anyone - and the least known, the most uncommon.

Suffering is not required for you to help anyone. In fact it doesn’t help anyone, ever, at all. 

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

When you get on a plane, they always say to put your own oxygen mask on first, then help others.

It’s true in any part of life - and here’s the best oxygen you can get, and it's free:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Breathe deep!

This bad advice actually makes it worse

Someone I met recently was saying that a book was advising her to tell her thoughts “go away!”, or something similar.

Just as I’m writing I find it curiouser and curiouser. I guess just because you can write a book doesn’t mean you know what you’re talking about (apologies if that sounds snarky but, you see, I get a little passionate about this).

Let me explain with a quick story.

Back, a long time ago I joined the local surf lifesaving club in the summer holidays. They enter me in a swimming race out in the ocean, and come the day of the race it's the foulest imaginable day.

The sky was grey, nearly black. The waves storming and huge. Apparently the buoys are out there but I can’t even see the things I’m supposed to swim around. My first surf race and I’m thinking I'm going to get my patooty absolutely kicked.

People are muttering about "they should cancel", but the officials are keen to see what we're made of, I guess.

The gun goes off, we run in and I literally drank the first three waves as they smashed on my head. I almost turned around and headed back in, it was so bad.

Then I got smart (obviously if you know me, not a lot, but enough)

Instead of battling through, I take a big breath and swim under. Big breath, dive down, stay in the calm, move forward. I spent more time under the water than on top of it. While the rescue boat is pulling people out all over the place, I was “Man From Atlantis”ing underneath, keeping away from the madness up top.

And you know what? I came second, and most importantly, I didn’t die. Hurrah!

Why am I telling you this?

My friend who had the (bad) advice to tell her thoughts “go away!”, or "shut up!" or whatever ...?

It’s just like my surf swim: Your thoughts are these huge waves that come in and bash you. You’re battling the waves, half drowning, and some guy in a rescue boat comes along and says:

“Just tell them to ‘GO AWAY!’”

Thank you sir, fine advice.

The important thing when coming to grips with your mind is to try and see what works best for you. But when I’ve tried that approach it just didn’t work. I would get exhausted and frustrated from shouting and doing battle every time. It would make it worse.

The easiest thing by far is to sink beneath the surface where it’s calm.

The storm can rage on all it likes, but it is not you. You don’t need to control it at all. You might still be aware of it - it might be still obvious like when the neighbours are having an argument and you can hear it, but no deal, you’re not caught up in it.

Becoming the master of your mind and overcoming stress, negativity and overwhelm requires no force. It really doesn’t. You don’t need to fight, struggle or strain. The best approach is ignoring, I reckon. Just plain old cold shoulder them. Or go the other extreme, welcome them whole heartedly:

“Hello old friend! Come on in and make yourself at home. You are welcome too”.

This gentle “bring it on” approach takes the wind out of any fight, doesn’t it? There’s no resistance, and that - if you have a teenager you are probably getting to know this very well - is the best thing you can do in many situations.

In terms of your mind, not resisting means you can sink down into that field of awareness that is you, the good old half step back and see the rage or the resentment or the depression or the self-violence (whatever it maybe) from an arms length and not get wrapped up and lost in it.

It’ll blow over and you spent zero effort on it. In fact, you gained greater freedom from your mind. You actually only strengthen the mind when you fight it. But that is a story for another day.

Alrighty? Awesome - go well!

Arjuna

PS.

A submarine is a handy thing when you’re out swimming in the storms. The means to dive down at the press of a button, in comfort and style, is a truly wonderful thing.

Here’s how to get your FREE submarine guide. You will LOVE it:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Dive deep!

Control Freak?

Let’s get something out in the open, first of all.

Your biggest cause of stress lies in your control issues. Do you know that? It’s ok - you’re one, I’m one, everyone has a control freak inside.

In the attempt to secure something, you try to control the uncontrollable. And that means you stress and struggle.

You waste so much energy and effort and time running around trying to make the world and the people around you the way you think they should be.

You think when the world and it’s people are the way you want it and them, then you can be happy. Perhaps you believe you know best, perhaps it’s that you believe they can make you feel happy, perhaps you’re trying to live up to their expectations, perhaps you believe you will miss out on something if you don’t control it all:

“The world will fall apart if I let go for even a second!”

So you struggle and control and strain and oh boy …

All for what? The impossible task of control.

Other people will show you exactly how much of a micro-manager you are, especially when you come face to face with another control freak. Children - those little bundles of joy are little bundles of uncontrollable unpredictability, aren’t they?

They all can be your greatest teachers, especially your loved ones. Because they push all your buttons. They don’t do what you want them to do. What you need them to do. What you know best.

Control will show you exactly when you are wrapped up in a future, externally caused happiness.

The type of happiness that goes: “I will be happy when …” You know? When this happens and that happens, when she stops doing that, when he does what I want him to do ...

Seeing your control is actually super freeing.

You can see where you depend on someone or something to make you happy, and then can choose to be happy (or simply content, but definitely the opposite of stressed and struggling) all by yourself, just because.

Control - give it up, for a moment. Just for now. Be fully present with this, with me, just for now. Stop, fully tune in. Take a deep breath. Give everything else up, just for now.

There - the world didn’t end did it?

Sorry. Didn’t mean to be that sarcastic, but it’s nice isn’t it? Like a mini-mini-holiday - and you can take those whenever you want.

It's your choice.

Stay awesome, OK?

Arjuna

PS.

Of course, this is not an excuse to abandon your responsibilities and commitments.

But it is an invitation to see how you’re making life so hard for yourself and everyone around you. How your choice to try and control the uncontrollable is driving you to an early grave.

You can take the hands off the wheel much much more than what you are doing, and everything will be fine and you will enjoy life so much more. Promise.

Any you know what? If you’d like to really be free of such habits and things, here's a little thing that is FREE and will help you go beyond control super quick:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

Help! How do I stop worrying about … ?

Help!

Worry is a huge problem for a lot of people.

Health, for example - someone asked me this morning how to stop worrying about it,

So I wanted to write a little about what I did to overcome worry.

It's a longer email, but hopefully useful to you, so grab a cuppa, have a read and see what sticks.

Obviously it's a huge subject and I can't do justice to your particular case, but I think in general something here will hold true for you.

I'll do a video soon, but my throat is all scratchy from snotty bubba.

Here we go:

The answer is the same for ANY worry or anxiety.

The mechanism of worry is the same, it just has a different focus, a different object.

Money, your family, your relationship, the state of the world … doesn't matter, it'll all apply.

First point:

Worry, the feeling, is caused by a thought.

By thinking you create a feeling that you don't like.

It’s not so much about the OBJECT of your worry, but HOW you’re thinking about it.

Simple I know, but it's important to realise, because:

You don’t have a lot of control over the object, you can learn to have control over the thinking.

Freedom from worry lies within you - NOT by fixing the object.

You have to realise that its your obsession (strong word I know) with the object that causes the feeling.

It’s often super creative people who get anxious, and they get anxious when they have nothing to do.

Like sitting on a plane, last thing at night …

Then their minds want to do something, so they pick at something, anything - and the result is worry.

You’re never worried when you’re busy. Because - you don’t have time to think.

Distraction from your thoughts therefore is a great tactic.

(If you practice meditation you will get comfortable with waiting, with doing nothing, with not letting your mind wander anywhere it wants, with distraction from any obsession).

When you notice the first signs of worry and thinking - get out of your head.

Sooner the better, because your thoughts have momentum.

Get up, do something different, take some deep slow breaths counting along the way, think your Ascension Attitudes if you have them,

Change your focus.

In order to do this you have to realise that worrying about the object IN NO WAY is going to help you.

You have to realise that you create the worry because you think it helps.

You, in a way, are addicted to worrying.

You think a little thinking about your favourite issue won’t do any harm …

(The "just a little bit won't hurt" at the core of any addiction)

But it does, and before you know it you’re deep in worry.

You have to be prepared not to think about your favourite concern - cold turkey, if you like.

The second point is:

You have been thinking certain ways for a long long time.

Sometimes you will just unconsciously start, and “fall” into worry, so -

This will be a journey.

You can learn to ease your worry pretty much straight away,

But it may return time and time again.

No worries, be gently stubborn, keep coming back to what you want to grow and nurture in your mind, and life.

Practice will make perfect.

Third:

You aren’t worried, you have worry.

It helps to see it as something outside of you, like a virus or something to be defeated.

If you ARE it, then there’s not a lot of room to move with it.

If it’s something you HAVE, then you can get a half-step back from it, you can be mindful of it -

Which is essential, because:

Fourth:

By way the worst thing about worry and anxiety (or depression, anger etc),

Is getting anxious about your anxiety.

Heaping anxiety upon anxiety is the real cause of most people’s troubles.

The anxiety is one thing, the thinking around it creates more and more anxiety.

The fact is that although worry and panic is unpleasant,

It will go away.

Try not to feed it by adding to it.

Let it float, let it be there, experience it - but stay detached (half-step backed) from it.

You’re not going to die, and it won’t last forever.

You will learn to deal with it, and ultimately end it.

So -

I’m sure there’s more, however this is more than enough to get going on.

Let me know how you go -

And practice! Nothing happens without doing something, regularly.

Go well,

Arjuna

PS.

If you want to the greatest way to learn to meditate and be mindful, here's the best start I know,

Because I wrote this free guide!

All the different ways I can think of to give you freedom from your mind, and freedom from worry:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

You know there’s going to be trouble when …

So New Zealand - the land of my birth -

Has a potato shortage.

On the surface this is no big deal,

But when you realise no potato means no crunchy salted crispy chippy goodness …

It becomes a HUGE deal.

As if I needed any more proof that the world is going to end, and soon.

(Don't go there - I'm just joking on that one)

BUT -

When you have a love of salted potato products that I do,

Even reading about a possible shortage on the other side of the world,

Could lead to a certain amount of lip trembling anxiousness.

The fear of missing out or being denied or having something taken away is strong, is it not?

It doesn’t matter what it’s about, but the mere idea of lack can keep you up at night,

Sweating profusely at the thought of it.

“What if?” is the device we torture ourselves with.

When I was a kid I was profoundly disturbed to read that scientists thought the world was going to end, that one day it would no longer exist.

I asked my mum, and she explained that it won’t happen for many thousands of years,

And anyway: “What could we actually do about a rogue meteor?”

Such wisdom.

If worrying about anything could help, the world would be in excellent hands.

But worrying about tomorrow denies you of today, doesn’t it?

It’s not useful in any way, shape or form.

Worry is a pattern, a habit …

And even though worry may feel like it can be automatic some times,

As in it has some momentum,

It can be a slippery slope that once you get started it’s hard to stop,

The fact is:

You can learn to create another habit.

You can choose to do something differently.

First step is being aware when you’re worrying about something you have zero control over right now.

Is there anything you CAN do right now?

I could stock up on chips and crisps, otherwise the potato shortage is a fact of nature.

I can’t do anything about it beyond stopping torturing myself by thinking about it.

Sometimes even putting all of it down on paper,

Or chatting it over with a understanding compadre can REALLY help.

Because it gets it out of your head -

In your head it can seem perfectly reasonable,

Out in the open means you have that half step back,

That perspective you need to realise that in no way is it a reasonable concern.

Then you spend your energy working on what you can actually secure,

Where you CAN find stability.

OK?

I’m on a roll so I’m going to talk more about this tomorrow.

I may even make a video.

But getting on top of worry was one of the reasons I learnt to meditate.

I wanted an end to all the unnecessary worry and anxiety I knew I was inflicting on myself.

And it worked.

If I can do it, I figure you can do it to.

If you're interested in doing something about worry, here's a FREE guide to getting freedom of choice over your own thoughts:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

If you have any questions, let me know - otherwise tune in tomorrow and we’ll talk more about this -

Because it’s important.

Til then, go well!

Arjuna

Is it actually really possible to end ALL stress?

I love this question.

People KIND of ask me it all the time.

They ask it out the side of their mouths, with disbelief, like they’re asking me:

“Do you really think the world is flat?” ...

Determining whether I’m actually insane and they should scarper, quick.

Such is the “natural” feelings around stress.

People think getting what they want in life necessarily and naturally involves stress.

That stress can be managed - for sure,

But the only way to END all stress, completely and forever is to pack it all in and run off to a tropical island.

(minus hurricanes)

Or ditching your responsibilities and going to live in a cave somewhere.

But what if stress wasn’t natural?

What if responsibilities and stress didn’t need to go hand in hand?

What if you - yes, you - could end all stress without significantly changing your life style?

Let me show you how:

What causes stress?

You need to see that stress isn’t caused TO you, it comes from within you.

You react in certain ways, causing yourself stress and overwhelm.

Good so far?

If stress lies in you, and not the things that cause you stress, then you have choice over it.

OK?

If you can change your reactions and habits …

And you can, believe me you can, because reactions and habits are just a way you’ve practiced doing something until it becomes unconscious -

You can chose to make new habits.

The first thing to do perhaps is acknowledge to yourself that stress may not be natural.

That you can live your life without it.

Or at least be free of it in this moment.

And what fun that would be? For you and everyone around you?

Oh my goodness, you have no idea.

But what if?

You want it, you can have it.

The second thing is actually doing something to get it.

You can hope a stress-free zone comes and gets you,

Or you can make the choices that mean you get it.

And it’s actually very straightforward when you have the right tools and the right understanding.

Simple and easy even.

And you don't have to change your life! You may want to, but in no way is it necessary.

Here’s how to get these right tools and understandings and really get going:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

I don’t mean to be a tease, I really don’t.

I’ll give you a hint - and you’ve heard this all before - so don’t just shrug it off ...

The more present you are, the less stressed you are.

The less you dwell on the stuff, the less stressed you are.

Simple I know, but not always easy when you don't have the tools, I know.

But - here’s the simple tools that make it easy:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

The biggest cause of stress in my life?

Someone asked me the other day what was the biggest cause of stress in my life.

It’s a great question -

Because it also relates directly to what causes you stress and overwhelm.

True. We are not so very different, underneath it all.

Let me explain:

The biggest cause of stress  in my life is all wrapped up around the little Bubster.

But it's not her, it's what goes on in my head ABOUT her.

Now I know a lot of you have kids -

You might not have done this, but seeing how huge the internet parenting forums are,

So many parents ARE doing this:

The trickiest thing was reading all those books on raising kids.

The second we got rid of all those books, the less stressed we felt.

All because we gave up what was “supposed” to be happening,

And went with what was actually happening, following our own gut feeling.

So many friggin opinions!

‘Cuse me for cussing …

But you’re never short of advice as soon as you have a wee one around.

Now I know there’s good advice out there. And we haven’t thrown everything out.

However - the cause of stress around anything in your life,

Is INTERNAL -

It’s the good old “should” that you believe.

A killer.

Tune into your own head and let “should” be a gigantic alarm,

A big wake up call that you need to be extremely careful and alert to the content of that thought.

“Should” is the source of all pressure, of all your suffering,

Because when reality doesn’t meet should, everything gets harder.

And when does reality look the way it should?

Not often!

“I’m doing it wrong” comes in, doesn’t it?

“it’s all too much, I can’t cope” follows closely.

That’s the problem, the cause of stress.

I’m doing it all wrong.

I should be like this, and I’m not.

Such a good skill to be able to examine your own thoughts and freely choose what you listen too and when.

To be mindful of your own self talk and realise when you create your own stress.

Then choose for something else.

It will change your life. It might even save it.

And that’s something I show you exactly how to do when you come and learn Ascension meditation,

Along with the so simple tools to freely let go, disconnect from the should, and all those other pesky thoughts.

https://www.thebrightpath.com/course/first-sphere-united-kingdom-richmond-north-yorkshire-1

Go well,

Arjuna

PS.

Oh, it’s really fun too.

The most relaxing, enjoyable practice I’ve ever found. Promise!

https://www.thebrightpath.com/course/first-sphere-united-kingdom-richmond-north-yorkshire-1 

That Prosecco Smile

A dentist has come out with a public health warning on excess Prosecco consumption -

Mentioning one thing I hadn't thought about -

That being the damage a lot of sparkling wine can do to the old tooths,

Resulting in, as the good dentist has warned against, a smile that is somewhat less than shiny and whole.

Yikes!

Having recently become a parent myself, I know first hand the advantageous nature of a glass of something good.

Enhances the mood doesn’t it?

Helps you switch off and kick back,

To enjoy those rare moments when you can put your feet up and enjoy doing nothing.

I get that.

What interests me is the point where something helpful becomes a hinderance,

Where it becomes about sedation -

Where you NEED it to cope, to relax, to switch off.

(And I always thought my mum just had a nose with a reddish hue,

Until she retired from work - then her nose returned to a more normal colour.)

Ya know?

What if …

You could switch off and relax as simply as you might switch off a light?

What if you could just ignore certain thoughts so you don’t need to sedate to distract yourself?

That there is one of the biggest results from learning and practicing meditation.

That’s what I’d teach you when you learn to Ascend.

All so you can enjoy your Prosecco,

Without making your teeth run away or your nose turn red, like a demented toothless human reindeer.

Now THAT is quite a thought.

If you want to get started on meditation,

If you'd like to know more about Ascension meditation?

Head this way, I'll give you a free guide to meditation and how it ends stress and makes you happy:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Go well,

Arjuna

PS.

Remember - to repeat the Ishayas' Ascension meditation course, forever more, is free.

If you've already learnt?

Why not pop in, even for a few hours it will be WELL worth your time.

You don't know what I'm talking about?

Start here and I shall reveal all:

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Why inconsiderate people are amazing

Why is it that kids' toys are so darn tooting noisy?

I was driving down the street with a toy wedged somewhere in the back,

I fully knew it was there because every little bump meant it starts singing to me,

Loud.

Every bump starts it again.

Oh boy … who left that in the car??

I know who.

Cue chuntering about whose fault it is.

And where do these toys come from?

Sumati and I didn’t buy them.

More chuntering …

All kinds of relatives must have been throwing them in the house …

Like brightly coloured plastic grenades,

Then standing back, sniggering, waiting for us to blow our tops.

Ahhh … they’re really not being inconsiderate, are they?

Anyway -

Young bubsy, my progeny ... is a master at "letting go"

Something happens, she doesn't like it, then she’s over it.

Done and dusted.

Something happens to us, we don't like it, and we carry it for, oooh ...

At least a week.

Right?

To bubsy, it’s not something that’s done TO her, just something that happened.

You carry stuff well beyond the incident,

Whether that’s a mad toy driving you nuts or an argument in the swimming pool with another parent …

Because it's done TO you, someone is to blame, and you need to make sure you're right -

Even just in your own head.

And because you have built a habit of constantly re-going over the past,

It becomes so you can’t NOT go over it.

The secret to be like bubsy and “let go” is to become more present.

Then unpleasant stuff can happen,

You respond accordingly,

Then you move on.

That would be an amazing skill wouldn't it?

Such freedom there.

So if you do meet someone inconsiderate?

Consider it your chance to practice being more free.

How amazing is that?

Then you can thank them too ...

heh heh

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

Of course, I reckon meditation is your way forward -

Not only for becoming more present,

But helping you let go of stuff that you’re holding onto.

Works like gangbusters.

(Whatever one of those is - but it sounds amazing!)

Head this way if you want to learn more,

A super simple, and super free guide to being more mindful:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

Alone at home in your underpants, drinking

Let me explain -

As a human there is no black and white.

No absolutes - there are always shades of grey, as you might well know.

In terms of being busy and getting stuff done there is also a continuum of activity.

I’ve been reliably informed (by one avid reader of these emails who has this in a prominent place to remind him)

At one end is Kyoshi - the Japanese term meaning to work oneself to death.

(Not so good)

And at the other end of our continuum is Kalsarikannit - the Finnish verb for getting drunk in ones underpants with no intention of going out.

(As a regular choice? Not so good either)

You are busy - you have things to see, people to do.

Commitments, responsibilities, all the rest of it.

Yet - to have a balanced life - to be productive and enjoy it all -

You need to find a balance between these two poles of madness:

Death by busy-ness or death by underpants.

It’s a balance that constantly shifts, constantly moves, depending on what is happening in your life at the time.

There is a time for more work, there is a time for more relaxing.

In your day there needs to be this ebb and flow too …

A time for doing, a time for switching off and not doing.

Now - mindfulness, meditation, being present and aware -

Many people can see how it means they can switch off -

It’s mental training in a sense to learn to focus on certain thoughts, ignore others.

Getting out of the past and the future that can’t be controlled -

And living now, in this moment in time.

Which is relaxing and recharging in all ways, indeed.

But learning and practicing something like the Ishayas’ Ascension meditation means you get going and DO stuff so much better and more effectively AS WELL.

You can examine your thoughts and see if they hold true.

You leave negativity and overwhelm and reacting in ways you regret back at the door.

You lose stress and doubt and all that stuff that stops you.

Ascension meditation also means you can get that balance right -

The balance between two extremes.

The half step back it gives you means you just know when it’s time to switch off,

And when it’s time to go.

Balance in all things,

A fine art - the art of life no less.

It takes practice, but you can find that - you can live it.

To get going on your practice, here's a little challenge that will help you rapidly find just that:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

It’s a while away, but it gives you time to prepare!

Go well,

Arjuna

PS.

It’s what Buddha meant by walking the middle path -

The Goldilocks Path

Not too hot, not to cold.

Not too extreme.

Just right:

Straightforward, simple, enjoyable.

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/houradaymindful/

I highly recommend quitting

Quitting?

Don’t listen to those motivational people who say “never quit!”.

Quitting is awesome.

You see, I’m sitting here in Starbucks,

The people who make my car are kindly fixing a big chunk of it,

For FREE.

How about that?

I’ve been sitting and doing my work here, courtesy of the coffee shop wifi.

And I’ve just realised the power of Quitting.

The story is -

I forgot to bring my water bottle of which I usually drink much from.

Since I’m too cheap …

Err, I mean ... environmental ... to buy bottled water,

I haven't been drinking enough.

And I was wondering why I was so sluggish, so feeling blah and off …?

I get some tap water and …

Instantly better.

Alive again.

Weird, isn’t it?

I didn’t realise what an effect drinking water had on me,

Until I stopped (and loaded up with coffee - gotta pay for my wifi!)

It’s the same with everything -

Sometimes you don’t realise the full extent of how good something is until you don’t do it.

Some of you won’t even notice AT ALL until you stop.

Humans are weird like that.

Take your daily practice of Ascension meditation,

Or anything you do every day to recharge your batteries, get perspective, and protect your peace and sense of humour …

It may not be immediately,

But as the battery starts to run out,

As stress and reaction and over-thinking and worry takes over

As you get snappier and snappier …

And your fun heads out the window …

THEN you start to notice it.

So many people tell me that they stopped and THEN they realised why they needed to do it …

Or their partners told them they’ve become such a pain in the backside,

They’ll divorce them if they don’t start practicing again -

(True story).

Quitting can be useful just to show you how good you had it.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

You don’t NEED to quit,

I haven’t gone ever gone cold turkey on my Ascending, but I do notice when I reduce the amount of time I spend very quickly.

I figure why quit when it’s so good?

PPS.

This “Forget No More - an hour a day, 7 day mindfulness challenge” is up and running -

It’s a very simple way to build the mindfulness habit super quick,

And end stress, boosting calm, Alive presence.

Even when you have a full on, super busy day.

Head this way to join us:

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It's completely free, AND I think you'll love it.

There’s no time for surfing - you’ve got TOO much to do!

Boy, did I have a busy day yesterday.

Sumati doesn’t get ordered around by herself, you know.

At one point - it may have been a little way into one too many cups of coffee,

As I was testing the couch (to make sure there were no springs loose)

And juggling my pedicure schedule …

I tell you - that was frantic!

I mean, how do you decide between the full French pedi or the Thai foot experience?

Doing both seemed like my only option.

But then I couldn’t find Sumati anywhere to book it for me, no matter how loud I yelled.

People used to accuse me of being out of touch -

“You’re a monk, what would you know about the real world?”

Clearly they have no idea.

In the middle of this epic storm of frazzle,

Of overwhelm actually - because I had so much to do, and no time to do it all …

I had an epiphany …

Or, as I’ve just dictionarized the work -

A realisation of momentous proportions.

And that was this:

The scale of your frazzle and overwhelm …

You know that feeling, right?

When you have so much to do and zero time to do it …?

Has nothing to with the length or even “heaviness”  of your to do list.

BTW: You know when a to do list is heavy?

I mean, it may only be 2 items long, but they are:

1. Move house;

2. Save the world.

All by tomorrow, 9am.

Heavy, man …

In truth, your foreboding sense of overwhelm and panic rising is all related:

To the amount of focus you give it.

How much you hold the "to be done's" in your head.

Overwhelm is therefore related to over-thinking.

Which is a wonderful thing to realise - honestly.

Because sometimes you can’t do much about how busy your days are,

But you CAN do a huge amount of how busy your head is.

And that makes ALL the difference.

It’s all related on future thinking …

“I have this and this and this to do”.

Holding it all in your head is a recipe for panic.

So - get it out of your head.

On paper if you need.

Get present.

Prioritise.

Then get super present and do one thing at a time.

Fully give yourself to this moment.

You CAN only do one thing.

If you do this fully and completely,

All overwhelm and stress and frazzle will go.

Promise.

And you’ll be a nicer person to be around.

You won’t snap at your kids, again.

You'll be more efficient.

You’ll also enjoy yourself a great deal more too.

OK?

So that is the answer to your to do list overwhelm woes.

You’re future surfing!

There’s no time for surf - you’re busy.

Get yourself back in the present moment.

Jolly good!

Go well,

Arjuna

PS.

Of course - a meditation practice helps so much with the ability to “put things down”,

Out of your head so you’re not carrying them.

If you head this way, you can pick up my FREE (capitals!) guide to all the things you can do to make your life more mindful,

And even start to meditate, should you wish.

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

When Man and Bubba Butt Heads

I had a plan this morning.

Bubsy was going to play by herself and I would keep an eye on her and get to do some exercise.

How do you think that worked?

You know it -

She has some some powerful lungs which means my plan went up in smoke.

Reality said “Ah … that’s not going to happen there, sir”

I had a moment of resistance -

“But what about my plan? What about what I want? What about meeeee … ?”

Do you know that ^^^ internal voice?

Fortunately I quickly realised that resistance is futile.

I gave in -

Reality won, I ended up playing with her.

Simple, easy - I even came up with some exercises we could do together.

(I ended up teaching her how to crawl.

Everyone needs a role model, right?

And boy is that is tough - spend 2 minutes crawling and you’ll feel it.

Exercise AND bubba was laughing at me flopped on the ground - so win-win)

Serenity.

Clarity.

Perspective.

They're all benefits of being present and aware -

Noticing when you’re fighting and resisting an undeniable reality,

Stressing yourself out, getting angry and frustrated in the process.

And instead of continuing to insist on your plan, on what “should” be,

You surrender and accept what is actually happening.

You give up - but you get clarity and perspective in return.

“This isn't going to happen … but this is!”

One of the biggest benefits of being mindful is that you don’t cause yourself stress.

You see what you are doing to make yourself upset.

You see where you are banging your own head against an undeniable wall.

So tune into now … not only is it more enjoyable, its more effective too.

A 2 for 1 deal!

You gotta love that.

Of course - resisting, not seeing clearly, NOT being present and mindful -

They're all a habit.

The whole purpose of the Ascension meditation techniques is to remove these “grooves” -

These habits of reacting in ways you wish you hadn’t and/or the habits that mean you're causing yourself pain.

But you can also use them “eyes open” to keep you tuned into this moment.

And then life gets really exciting,

Because life really becomes about your conscious choice,

A deliberate living, and not based in unconscious reaction.

You want to know how?

The lowdown about accepting and getting freedom of choice,

Being free of resisting and stress?

And about discovering what it means to truly be alive?

Here you go:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

Don't miss the PPS...

PPS.

I have a list that give advice, tips, inspiration, know how, funny stories –

All about meditation and mindfulness,

About losing stress and struggle and confusion,

About mastering the mind and getting calm, focussed and happy,

And about discovering what it means to truly be alive.

If you like the idea of that?

Sign up here:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

When Wife Doesn’t do What She Should

So I was holding the bubba -

AKA She who must be obeyed,

Simply because she screams louder than anyone else,

Because we’ve yet to educate her more than we placate her, and …

Through no fault of my own -

I promise there was no jiggling or excessive squashing involved,

The biggest amount of baby vomit I have ever seen gushed ALL over me.

You perhaps know this very well.

Perhaps if you have teenagers who turn up drunk on your doorstep at 3am you’re getting a reminder …?

Anyhoo ...

What did the lovely Sumati do?

1. Laugh - and not ONLY in surprise and with that rather coarse type of humour that comes from enjoying someone’s misfortune,

But in a “how do you like THEM apples?” type way.

2. Tells me not to move because she doesn’t want it spilling on the couch

(which is all fair enough so far, I admit, BUT … )

3. She then ran for her phone, on the other side of the room I may add, to take a photo.

4. After Whats App’ing it to her family and friends …

5. THEN, and only then, once the social media beast was fed, did she offer me assistance in my time of need.

I tell you, it’s hard to find a good wife these days.

But it’s OK because I’ve been practicing what I preach as a meditation teacher.

Everything I say in these emails I practice myself.

I stayed cool and calm, and clearly asked for help without getting too (and perhaps justifiably) upset at being stranded in a puddle of cooling baby cheese.

I laughed at myself, because taking anything seriously is a recipe for self induced misery.

And I stayed present, not referring in my head to the appointment that I had in 5 minutes time, and now had to change clothes for.

I also didn't constantly refer to her perceived short comings,

(Only 3 or 4 times)

All in all, a good result.

But if anyone is after a wife?

I have one for sale.

Needs a touch of training.

I sincerely hope your day is going better!

Go well,

Arjuna

PS.

If you’d like to get a phenomenally great practice for making the small (and not so small) disasters of your day a whole lot easier?

Here’s the best place to start, you’ll love this "how to" guide (and it's FREE):

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

What’s my name again?

My Dad is a wonderful bloke,

I mean, he made me didn’t he?

heh heh

But for a while now he’s been over the top worried about losing his memory.

I laugh (a little, on the inside)

Because one of the things that happens when you detach from worry about the future and regret for the past …

When you get more and more present -

Any other moment becomes further and further away in terms of “reality”.

It seems like ancient history.

Which means sometimes I can hardly recall what I ate for breakfast this morning.

It’s all a bit funny - (and don’t worry, in many ways you have a BETTER memory simply cos there’s not so much stuff fighting for attention in your head)

But he was worried, getting more and more anxious when he can’t remember stuff …

Then I catch up with his sister, my aunty …

And she’s the same.

My cousin explained it all -

The reason for the almost paranoia is that there's a family history of dementia,

And my dad and aunt are looking for signs of it in their own heads,

So no wonder they’re going a little demented just with anxiety.

You know what I mean?

Anxiety - doesn’t help no one.

Least of all the things you want to avoid.

The anxiety about a thing possibly happening is far worse than the actual thing.

You know?

You spend your whole time in your head,

Thinking and planning and counter planning, predicting and counter predicting,

About something that MAY NOT even happen,

All the time unable to enjoy what’s going on right in front of you.

And here’s what I’ve realised:

Very little of what I’ve been worried about in the past has actually happened.

And:

If it did happen, it was never as bad as my mind made it out to be.

There’s a fine line between doing what you can actually do right now,

And letting all the rest go.

Something like dementia?

What can you do?

I’m no expert, but stay active, eat your fish oil, challenge your brain, don’t eat out of aluminium …

Meditate for sure (Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension is my practice)

The rest?

You gotta just stop thinking so much - let it go and enjoy what you do have.

Alright?

Go well

Arjuna

PS.

My suggestion for the greatest thing to do to create the habit of being calm,

Of not being anxious and worried,

Of letting go the stuff you have no control over?

Is right here, and is FREE.

A free guide to being free of anxiety, calm and content.

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

The Question That Ends Stress and Misery

I was tapping into some of my sources of inspiration and “remindering” today -

And besides getting a touch sidetracked -

By footage of Michael Phelps the legend Olympic swimmer racing a shark

(That’s certainly a novelty event, is it not?)

I found a great question that I want to ask you, in a minute.

But first:

Remindering?

It’s not actually a word, no ...

As you may have guessed because likelihood is if you're reading this, you're pretty darn smart,

But it IS the art of putting yourself in the way of remembering what is important.

Part of making sure you keep peace, happiness and contentment as a priority in your day,

Is simply staying reminded.

That “oh yes - that IS important to me”

“The reason I work so hard is basically so I can be happy.”

“Let’s see if I can choose to be happy first and then I won’t NEED to work so hard … but may well WANT to”

“But I definitely won’t get so stressed trying to secure happiness only by getting something”

You see how it goes?

We live our lives in such a blur of activity, we lose track of life as it is, right now.

Our minds whisk us away to uncertain futures,

To happiness being caused and not chosen for, independent of external circumstances.

And those things cause us stress.

SO - in my remindering this morning,

I found a wonderful question you can ask yourself when you’re in the middle of that,

If you can get presence of mind enough to ask yourself it.

Especially before it all gets too blown up.

If you’re lucky, and you have someone who can ask you it when they notice you’re slipping into stress?

All the better.

It’s from a guy called Dax Moy who I’ve just found and seems to be very good if you’re a coach/teacher/mentor/parent of any sort.

He says why not ask yourself when you’re getting stressed,

Or know you’re headed to a challenging time:

__________

“How can I enjoy this more?”

__________

How wonderful …

Puts things into perspective, no?

It makes the baseline of this moment more joy.

And that is always a good thing, even in serious moments.

Dax talked about his family using it even at his relative’s funeral.

“How can we enjoy this more?”

A conscious and aware creation of each and every moment of your life, all wrapped up around more joy.

So - give it a go,

And go well!

Arjuna

PS.

Want a free guide to meditation and mindfulness?

A great place to start on practicing remindering yourself

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

or, even better:

A free coaching session with me on being stress free and joyful super quick?

Head this way:

www.arjunaishaya.com/contact/