You can’t do it

Impossible expectations and standards…

So often I hear from - especially mums - that they are sooooo useless because:

They can’t live up to the crazy mad standards they’ve set for themselves.

Like they’ve ditched the healthy diet they’ve been cooking for their kids - once

And fed them, I don't know, something SHOCKING, like fish fingers, from Iceland

(OMG)

Because they ran out of time,

Now they feel awful. Over the top awful.

Other mums seem to do it, and with style, and looking like they just stepped out of the salon, with a perfectly tidy house -

And running a small business on the side, seamlessly.

Yet they can’t, and they don’t.

I’m all for setting goals and standards, don't get me wrong.

But make sure they're achieveable.

Look at why you want to do what you want to do:

What’s important is setting a goal or expectation that is realistic, and fun, and you WANT to do it -

Rather than you NEED to do, because if you don’t achieve it you’re terrible, and useless, and stupid.

Sometimes too the best thing you can do is take a break.

Go easy.

You see - I have been so harsh on myself in the past,

And it just doesn’t work.

It doesn’t.

You become grey and joyless.

It isn’t fun and it isn’t effective.

So - slack off a touch.

See your mind and your thoughts and all this stuff around setting all these impossible standards.

WHO are you doing it for?

You?

Really?

Or is it to impress someone - maybe your mum?

Maybe those women at the school gate?

Comparison is a horrible game.

Do you REALLY want to do it?

If you don’t, quit it.

If you do, make sure you keep it enjoyable and go to it.

Don’t take yourself too seriously either.

Kills everything.

Good stuff -

Like to learn how to deal with all of these impossibilities?

Which are your OWN expectations and assumptions and result in SELF induced pressure?

Honestly, the best way I know how is to learn to Ascend,

And then practice the simple, fun, relaxing, rejuvenating and calming techniques,

Take a chill pill AND be more effective.

Awesome!

Here's a bunch of FREE ideas on how to end stress and pressure:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

Go well,

Arjuna

PS.

It’s all about your attitude.

Your attitude can make or break anything.

True.

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

Bottlin’ it up

And I don’t mean bottlin’ as in losing your nerve and running,

I mean holding onto stuff,

Not speaking,

Not saying what you want, what you see.

Bottling it up, holding it in, not talking?

It just doesn’t work does it?

Talking about stuff helps so much.

Letting it out and conveying your truth …

Helps you get calm straight away.

A couple of things -

When somethings stressing or frustrating you, talking to someone helps.

But you want to choose someone who won’t let you go around and around in the story about it.

Because now there’s two of you adrift in misery.

You want someone who will listen, who will understand, yes -

But someone who will help you become more present.

Someone who will help you let go of your frustration,

Help you get out of your head and into the here and now.

Not indulge you in how unfair the whole thing is, and they’re all b@stards anyway …

OK?

The other thing:

Sometimes you need to say things that you know will make your voice shake a little when you do it -

You need to say it sooner rather than later,

Cos later means it comes out all wrong and even more emotional -

Like a beach ball held under water always eventually pops out in a huge explosion.

And you need to do it because it’s about your peace, you saying what you need to say.

It’s actually not even about the other person changing or even understanding.

Weird huh?

It’s about you getting something off your chest.

The thing that stops you is your belief that it’s not important,

Or “who am I to say this anyway?”

You know?

You’re not being bolshy, you’re speaking up in a clear and timely fashion.

A small pressure release now,

A small “ssssssssssst” now,

Rather than a huge explosion later.

Speaking your truth = sanity and calm.

So even if it takes a bit of courage, go ahead and get it done.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

I still don’t like doing this …

I’m not 100% comfortable with it,

But I know when I need to do it,

And I’m doing it for my own peace of mind,

As opposed to bottling it and it keeping me awake with frustration and regret and “I should have…” for weeks later.

So I do it, no matter what.

PPS.

To get that clarity of knowing what you need to say?

To step through the self-doubt and the “I shouldn’t”s?

Being present and mindful and stress free is the place to get to.

Here's how, a free download of 108 ways you can do this in YOUR life:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

I caught my wife doing it

Awful headline huh?

But it got you reading!

Sumati was saying to me she would love some time to exercise and Ascend.

I’m like: sweet!

Of course, I’ll hold the baby,

You go do the stuff you do to nurture and look after yourself.

To recharge, to reorder and reprioritise,

To step away from the to do list,

To get that “Half step back” that means everything is clearer and in perspective,

And means you don’t snap and say something you regret.

Happier, not grumpy, able to deal with one thing at a time.

She knows the importance of this -

But after 5 minutes I don’t hear any workout music,

I go check on her …

And she’s on her computer.

With my very best personal trainer/coach impersonation I tell her -

“I’m not holding the baby for fun - get down stairs and give me 20!”

(don’t worry - it was fun, but I had my “let’s get serious” voice on)

She’s “yeah but I just want to do this one job …”

You know how it is -

Jobs sneak in first, “just this one thing” happens and then you never actually do the looking after self things …

So I drag her down stairs and tell her to get changed.

(I was SO wearing the trousers yesterday - I think she liked it)

5 minutes later no sign -

I walk in and she’s making the bed!

“what the!”

It doesn’t matter she tells me.

The bed needs to be made and so I’ll do it first and then do my exercise and Ascending.

Do you do that too?

See - what actually happens is you do all the little things you think you need to do,

and you think that you’ll do the thing for yourself after -

When the job is done.

EXCEPT -

Time always runs out,

And you RARELY do what will give you the MOST benefit

I know you find it easier to operate when your head is clear of those “I must do that today” jobs,

But don’t let it be at the expense of looking after yourself,

Of doing those things that mean you are recharged and have a good humour.

You actually NEED to put that ^^^ at the top of your to do list.

Learn how to put the rest of the list down.

Then you can thrive and NOT get stressed and struggle and be grumpy and resentful.

Everyone wins when you’re on top form.

And that is NOT about clearing your to do list first.

OK?

Lecture over.

If you’re interested in a practice that is enjoyable and simple and completely rejuvenating -

In only a short amount of time every day,

So you can actually fit it into your busy schedule - 

You’re going to love what I'll show you.

Something completely for YOU.

Head this way to get started with the FREE download:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

Your own oxygen mask goes on first,

Then you can help others,

Then you can do all those need to do jobs.

It's freedom from the oppression of your busy to do list!

Achieve MORE with MORE fun -

Hurrah!

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

Ed Sheeran’s hate

Ed - the singer, songwriter - you know the one …

If you listen to the radio you probably have at least one of his songs stuck in your head without even knowing it’s him,

Well - Ed’s quit twitter.

He’s gone, he’s off …

Too much hate for him.

I’m neither here or there on Ed’s music,

But he’s been subjected to SO much abuse,

He’s been left scratching his head as to why people hate him so much.

That’s hard for anyone, no matter how tough skinned you might be.

You would think fame and fortune would solve a lot of problems wouldn’t you?

Looks like it can create just as many problems as being poor and unknown.

Some of you may say “hold it!”

“I’d rather be rich and hated than poor and loved”

But I think you wouldn’t.

If you’ve ever been bullied at work, or in your sports team or on Facebook or where ever,

If you’ve tried to help your kids through being bullied at school,

You know it sucks big time.

It cripples you, unless you have strong support networks and some serious confidence gonads to get through.

The lesson?

Sometimes you have to quit bad company.

Like Ed, just get up and go.

If you can - get out of there, spend as less time with people who drag you down as poss.

I’m not just talking about out and out bullying,

I’m talking about any negativity actually.

You gotta surround yourself with fun, happy, alive, supportive people.

It’s almost as important as oxygen - but not as well recognised.

Of course, there’s always that relative that you can’t ditch - but you sure can minimise,

So you can look after yourself.

The bottom line ^^^^

Keeping good company is so important.

Seek out those people who are inspired, who laugh a lot, who don’t gossip, who make you feel good just by being around them -

You won’t regret it.

I’m really proud of our community of Ascenders -

They are all of that and more.

We get together regularly face to face, we have a Facebook group with live videos and interaction all the time,

And we thrive.

It’s awesome - and so rare actually.

Like to be a part of something like that?

Start here,

Get this FREE download of how to be more calm and content NO MATTER what's happening around you,

108 ideas on how you can be more present and mindful and stress free

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

I’m like Ed -

I’m not on twitter either.

I don’t know about you but I have enough excuses to look at my mobile already,

No need to add another distraction ay?!

Do you want a clean house or a happy family?

“I’ll just do this one thing …”

“Then I’ll rest, later when it’s finished…”

You know it,

It never happens.

The kids go down to sleep or off to school, you do all the stuff you think you should be doing.

Instead of looking after yourself -

and honestly - just a small amount of time is all you need -

You do housework,

Sort out that cupboard because you’re free …

Or you crack open the gin and start up Netflix and stay up way too late, again

^^^ That is a good idea actually, now and then.

(Now and then - that’s the key, not every single night.)

You see, doing the above over looking after yourself and your energy levels means you get more and more exhausted.

And with it:

More and more snappy -

So your partner, your kids, your loved ones get it:

A grumpy, irritated, resentful, tired bag of blah.

Where did your joy go?

Where did the smiles and the humour and the fun go?

Where did the sense of purpose and meaning go?

Why all the struggle and stress?

Working out what is essential and what is merely “urgent” is a big deal.

Looking after yourself?

Essential.

Doing all those jobs?

Flicking through Facebook, again?

Not so.

You have to learn to protect your core -

What is your core?

Not your abs, no -

Nothing to do with pilates and planks and hollow holds and sit ups, no …

It’s your energy, your peace of mind, your perspective and clarity, your sense of humour.

Remembering your reason for being alive, for doing all this stuff anyhoo.

That there is the baseline of your being and so often put last on your to do list.

It's not selfish!

Without it you’re lost.

And that’s what I do …

Give you what you need so that you can enjoy everything you do.

So you can be awesome and not anxious,

Fun and not frantic.

Have a profound life, not a perplexed one.

Want in?

Head here and you will get a bunch of great ideas on HOW to do this.

For free:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

When you get to the end of your life are you going to wish you had done more housework?

Watched more box sets?

Or lived a profound, loving, fun, truly alive life?

It doesn't have to be an either/or thing.

Prioritise your energy and your peace and you can have it all.

Happening TO you or FOR you?

You ever tipped your head back to the sky, and roared?

“Why is this happening to me?”

Sure you have.

I have - “Why God? Why?” is a classic …

THE classic response when good things happen to bad people.

I’ve got that the wrong way round -

Why bad things happen to good people.

(That’s better)

And it’s such a useless question, you know?

There is no answer.

It just creates such rage, such impotence, such feelings of being alone and unsupported.

Now - what can you do different?

If you can catch it - flip it around.

Ask yourself, not “why is this happening TO me”,

But - “why is this happening FOR me?”

Interesting huh?

Creates a totally different attitude with a totally different foundation for dealing with a problem or a challenge.

Now, you can’t intellectualise it - you just have to do it.

“What can I get from this?”

It makes you more present, more accepting, more like you’re on an adventure of some sort, rather than feeling like life is being done to you.

So - perhaps life IS fair after all … you just don’t know why it’s FOR you just yet.

And it’s a real key to unlock the silver lining to any situation.

The other part of this is you don’t even need to know the WHY.

Just assume it’s happening for you, let go into that experience and go from there.

So much more powerful - in a word - than flapping and punching at the sky in vain.

Give it a crack and see what happens.

And you’re welcome.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

Like more ideas on living a less stressful and more meaningful life, simply?

Here's a free guide, giving you 108 ways:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

-

Exhaustion

You know when you need to pee? And you’re jumping from foot to foot,

Trying to finish off the thing you’re involved in -

Yet failing because you just can’t think straight?

Then you take care of the necessities and everything is easier?

Same same with exhaustion.

Tough night last night in our house you see -

Bubsy was waking every 30 minutes with a sqwaul and a shriek.

Early, early this morning I had a baby thrust at me by a groggy, possibly a touch grumpy, Sumati.

Both of them slept for about 3 hours straight.

When they woke?

Sweetness and light and good humour,

Singing songs in the kitchen as we speak.

Everywhere I go to speak or teach:

It doesn’t matter whether it’s a school or an office or the army -

We start off with a few relaxation exercises and just about every one in the room starts yawning.

The western world is running on exhaustion.

And when things are tough, or even just a bit “sticky”, rest makes everything better.

Easier, lighter, more fun.

It doesn’t remove your problems by any means, it just makes them easier to deal with.

Actually sometimes it does -

Because you stop trying to control the things you have no control over

You stop worrying about the things you can’t influence.

So if you want to make life easier for yourself -

Simpler, more effective, more profound too,

Get some early nights.

Learn how to meditate so you get an awesome power nap throughout the day too.

A reset to your sense of humour and your energy levels.

If you have trouble sleeping?

You’ll need those little breaks during the day.

If you have a baby?

Rest when they rest.

Don’t be all trying to get the jobs done while they’re asleep.

You need rest first.

Awesome.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

I have a free guide to being more present and alive.

If you're interested in getting a copy head this way:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

10 year olds have it tough

Spent this morning speaking with a bunch of 10 year olds - All about stress and anger, worry and anxiety, depression and sorrow.

About not sleeping at night,

About getting so frustrated they can’t think straight.

About putting themselves under impossible pressure.

And I thought the life of a ten year old was free and easy.

No worries, no regrets, nothing to do, no heavy expectations to live up to.

Looks like I had no idea.

I have no idea if life is tougher now that we’re in the future,

But after this morning, and sitting down to write, I now actually remember a similar time as a kid.

I was never more depressed than when I was 11-12.

I thought the world was going to end,

I only had 2 friends,

I found no joy anywhere, nothing but fear and doubt and struggle.

And the only reason I didn’t kill myself was because I didn’t want my family to be hurt.

So I suffered in silence.

At 11 years old.

How crazy is that?

Crazy. Messed up. All that stuff.

I know.

I'm actually glad for it because it made me determined to find a way out, to never go back there

But what I really want to tell you is this:

I do remember being around certain people really helped me.

There were a few teachers, my swimming coach, the mum of one of my friends …

They had a lightness of being, a warm heart it felt like.

They looked me in the eye and made sure I was seen and heard.

It wasn’t what they said or did, but how they made me feel.

I felt like they had all the time in the world for me.

Even though they must have had their challenges,

I felt a solid certainty in this world when I was around them,

An oasis of … okayness … or goodness, I guess …

A kind of force field that meant fear and worry and that feeling of the end couldn’t come in when I was near them.

Those times meant everything because I had a glimpse of what life beyond the chaos of my mind felt like.

Your peace?

Despite all the madness and busy-ness and questions in your life -

You being calm and present and content and alive,

Isn’t just for you.

You touch everyone around you.

Everyone has a chance for sanctuary by just being in your presence.

And if you only stop and give that kid a smile,

Or really listen for just a second …

You might be saving their lives.

Go well, ok? Arjuna

PS.

I’m giving a free talk tonight, over in Guisborough.

Full details here, be great to see you:

https://www.thebrightpath.com/courses/free-talk-freedom-and-thinking-too-much-guisborough-guisborough-2017-06-28 --

Lost your freedom?

Big thing, freedom. Songs, books, speeches all been written about it.

People will fight for it.

Interesting thing too -

When you’re feeling down about something,

It’s usually because you feel like you have no choice, no freedom in a situation.

Some research I saw said just that:

The biggest cause of stress is feeling like you have no choice, no freedom.

From being at work where it feels like you’re a small cog in a huge machine and it matters not what you do,

To a mum who is feeling resentful about their child, feeling pinned down and not able to do the things she wants to do.

So how do you deal with that?

You have to realise that all our external choices involve compromise of some sort.

You get married? You have no freedom to date anyone else.

You take a job? You have no freedom to sleep in anymore.

You quit your job? You don't have the freedom to go on holiday when you want to.

You have kids? You no longer have the freedom to do what you want when you want.

But the cause of your stress and your lack of freedom is all in where you're paying attention.

You’ve got it all wrong -

You’re focussed on the thing you don’t like -

And ignoring ALL the bonuses that come with a choice to do something.

That’s what really causes stress -

Is not lack of freedom, but lack of appreciation.

So if you find yourself in this state of "not free" —

Don’t make it about the thing,

Make it about your choices and what you can focus on.

And that is freeing.

You might even be able to discover what lays beyond thought -

That you aren’t your thoughts, your emotions, your complaints, even your appreciations.

And that is true freedom.

Like to know how?

Get my free guide packed full of good stuff for you:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb Go well! Arjuna

If you Ascend?

I have a whole day for you to realise how free you really are.

Head this way to get a seat:

(Only a handful of days away now)

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/advanced-day/ 

Pooping Poopingham

Anyone who has a young ‘un, Knows the pleasure that comes with a blown nappy.

It’s not only the mess,

But the darn inconvenience.

Always happens right when you need to head out the door,

Or when you’re just about to put your feet up for YOUR well earned rest at the end of the day.

Which is now extended … 

And has the potential to be ONE of the those nights.

I think the key underlying problem is the thought that many -

Especially women, have:

“What about me???????!”

“When do I get time?”

You give and you give and you give …

You bleed yourself dry for your family …

And what do you get?

Sumati and I been talking about that a lot -

So we can avoid resentment of any kind building up.

There’s some days she just feels like baby furniture and feeding machine in one.

Most of the time that is fine for her, she accepts her new role and loves it totally.

It’s just when you get tired, and stressed, that’s when it all goes pear shaped.

We’ve been teaming it as much as we can -

So she has time to go to Zumba and get her nails done for the upcoming holiday,

All those things she loved to do BB (Before Bubba)

But most importantly so she has time to close her eyes and rest and Ascend and meditate.

Without that everything builds up hugely, fast-ly, exponentially.

It’s the recharge that makes everything fun, puts everything in perspective, makes everything manageable - even a blown nappy all down your shirt.

And allows you to give without resentment.

Give to yourself and you’ll find you can give so much more.

Don’t give and you’ll dry up and get all bitter and twisted and snap at people like some kind of human crocodile.

Maybe you have a team mate who can help you -

Maybe you’re going solo (maximum respect to you btw)

But you can always grab 10 minutes just to recharge.

To do NOTHING.

When you do it you realise how crucial it is that you do.

The other top tip to conserve energy and sanity?

I’m going to save until tomorrow.

Just cos I’m a tease.

How to do what I'm talking about above?

Get this and it'll make everything clear for you:

And it's free:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb Go well! Arjuna

PS.

Ascender?

Wanting to know more about how to make freedom from frazzle and freneticism and snappiness more permanent?

Wanting to get rid of some bad habits or avoid getting them?

I have the day for you:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/advanced-day/

Have you ever … ?

Have you ever spent hours thinking about what they might be thinking? And how you might counteract that?

I know.

You say one thing, they make a funny face and you think they think you’re a bit of an idiot,

Or maybe you’ve offended them somehow,

Then you get into thinking how you might make it better,

If you could send them a text with a clarification,

But perhaps that be too obvious?

So maybe you’ll try some other approach …

And it's true:

You ARE such an idiot, why did you have to say that?

I know.

You spend all night thinking about it,

And when you finally see them again they have no idea what you’ve been on about.

I know.

All that nervous energy and for what?

I used to do it a lot.

Needless and endless worry about what other people thought.

The way out is to learn to be able to put those thoughts down.

To let them go, as the popular parlance has it.

To do what you can when you can,

But until that moment, IF that moment happens

Stop stressing about stuff you have no control over.

Like other people's opinions.

Your mind is trying to help -

But it just ends up weighing you down.

Learn to master your mind and everything gets simple.

How might you do that?

Well -

This very short, but info packed and free guide that you can return to,

Time and time again,

Is what you want:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb

Go well! Arjuna

PS.

If you know how to Ascend -

Then this day will be a huge springboard to you being able to let go whenever you want:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/advanced-day/ 

They Were Complaining About Having A Quiet Head

“I have a problem” Said a fellow recently that I’d taught Ascension meditation to earlier in the year.

“I have no thoughts.”

“It’s all just quiet in there”

A lady also piped up and said:

“Me too! It’s just silent and still in my head”

Do YOU ever have that problem?

Would you LIKE to have that problem?

I must admit I guffawed out loud when I heard about their “problem”.

Because -

The people coming to me are coming because they are tired of having a frantic head,

And what that means for their life:

You can’t sleep because of it.

Your “to do” list constantly running in there,

Which means you’re missing out on what’s in front of you.

It’s making you anxious, and grumpy, and snappy.

And not very effective because you’re trying to do 12 things at once.

At home thinking about work, at work thinking about being at home.

Trying to live up to impossible standards that you’ve set for yourself,

Based on comparison with what you THINK you see in the people around you,

Trying to be the perfect parent,

Your head’s giving you grief when you think you’ve failed.

Again.

Giving, giving, giving, bleeding yourself dry for your family because you want to and yet …

“Where’s the time for me?”

It’s tough in there, I know. Brutal sometimes.

Hence me laughing out loud at the "problem" of a “too quiet head”.

Now - Laughing at your people is not “good practice” as a teacher of any kind, is it?

(whoops)

But … you can understand why, can't you?

Wouldn’t it be nice to have THAT problem?

Yes indeed.

Let me help you GET that problem.

Download this, and we'll keep talking more after:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

Go well, Arjuna

You Already On Monday?

What day is it today?

Everyone knows it’s Sunday -

But you may well be on Monday in your head.

It’s what I used to do.

Couldn’t wait for the weekend,

So I could do all the fun stuff I had planned.

Then I actually spent a big chunk of Sunday thinking about all the things Monday would bring.

Wasted my own weekend by being at work in my head.

Future surfing - Don’t do it.

It'll get here soon enough!

Overwhelmed and feeling like there’s too much to do and there’s no time for you?

You have to get out of your own head.

Full enjoyment begins in being completely present.

Stay in the same place as your body.

Otherwise you just miss out on life.

Alrighty?

Go well out there, ok?

Arjuna

PS.

Want some ideas on how to get out of your head, be more mindful and present?

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

Grumpy Buggers Everywhere

I like happy people. They’re fun and easy to be with.

However for some reason this morning has been the day of grumpy buggers.

They are in my face today, oh boy!

All just curt and snappy and “why Arjuna why?” and all the rest.

“What did I do wrong?”

That ^^^ little voice used to eat me alive.

I used to run myself ragged over thinking and falling over myself believing their reaction was ALL my fault.

Trouble is, that voice was more than just about wanting to help people be happy -

Fundamentally it’s about wanting to be liked.

^^^ That is a big one, isn't it? ^^^

Although I still love to make people happy,

And I like to be liked

(who doesn’t?!)

I’ve recognised that I can’t make all of the people happy all of the time.

I’ve done the running around trying to make people like me all of the time too,

And I can’t.

Try as I might.

Which is such an easier place to live from.

I know I’m not perfect and I make mistakes -

If that makes people grumpy then I do try and make it up to them,

But I’ve seen that the only person I can be responsible for is myself.

And that takes a load off my shoulders,

Trying to be responsible for everyone else’s happiness and trying to be liked is a recipe for exhaustion and stress …

And unhappiness.

I know a lot of people do this -

Their own happiness depends on someone else’s response.

It’s hard work. Really tough - impossible actually.

But getting over that?

You have to see that little thought pattern that means you feel responsible for their happiness …

As well as the underlying cause of NEEDING someone to like you.

You have to see when you starting to think about this,

And distract yourself from getting caught up in it -

Get out of your head and get present to this moment.

When I was starting out in this game I used to use my breath a lot -

Taking some deep breaths is a wonderful anchor,

It stops the head building up momentum.

And that’s the key - catching it early.

So being aware of your tendencies is a great thing.

A huge step forward, you know?

Awareness is a great great thing.

Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

It's a HUGE thing, stopping feeding that NEED to be liked.

Huge - because it changes all of your relationships.

It really does.

I have a free guide to getting rid of all this limiting patterns that cause you stress, struggle and unhappiness.

There's 108 ideas - but don't worry - it's not an effortful read.

It's simple enough to scan, deep enough to return to.

Head here if you'd like a copy:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

Questions? Just ask!

Robots Taking Over

Remember when you were young and the future was going to be full of labour saving devices? We’d be sitting around sipping cocktails while robots did everything?

Well … we’re here!

The future is now.

We’ve got some cool stuff, but where’s them robots so I can go kayaking all day long?

And how come we’re busier than ever??

It’s actually the latest badge of honour - 

“How you doing?”

“Oh you know - super busy, like crazy busy …”

Importance and social standing these days in the rat race is based on how frantic you are.

No one has any time any more, especially for “frivolities” like mental health and happiness.

Hmmm … you know, maybe that’s the thing.

Your internal state is treated like an “extra”;

A “when I get around to it” …

A "nice to have" ...

And yet 50% of all sick days are due to stress.

Attention spans are dropping hugely - from 13 seconds in 2000 to 8 seconds by 2013.

(a goldfish's is 9 seconds so they beat you ...

and they're way better at holding their breath under water)

Anxiety, depression, panic attacks - all more and more common. Even in kids!

There’s no focus, no ability to ignore a particular thought pattern - or to hold one -

People just BECOME whatever goes through their heads.

We are busier than before but finding less and less happiness.

Before I became a dad I had the perfect answer to that:

“Prioritise your peace - make time for you”

Now I am a dad I realise that is easy to say and harder to do.

But it’s no less important. It's actually even MORE important for parents.

Because your internal state of being isn’t a “frivolity” …

It’s an essential.

It is the thing that makes the difference between effectiveness, fulfilment and enjoyment …

And stress, struggle and misery ...

The difference between being the struggling you and the great you.

Running on empty? Not good …

You might be able to carry it off for a long long time,

But when something even a touch big comes along?

You are thrown way off,

And it takes a long time to get back on your feet.

Take the time for you to recharge and take stock.

To nurture what you need so you can be full on.

You need to carve out the time -

Even if it’s just 10 minutes a day.

You have to.

You have to.

It’s not selfish.

Alright?

Go well Arjuna

PS.

How?

How - it's easy to say, but how?

Go here, it's a FREE guide that will tell you all:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

The Meaning Of Life At 3am

Do you know what I noticed the other day? At 3am on my early morning nappy call?

Groggy and bleary eyed though I was -

Sometimes you're hit with great clarity at the weirdest times aren’t you?

This was one of those moments.

Bubba, on the nappy table,

Half naked,

NOT caring an inch.

About the time,

About the poo,

About anything.

Nothing.

No self-confidence issues,

No self-doubt, no self-criticism, no perfectionism,

Just hanging out.

She doesn’t get all wrapped up in that.

She just meets the moment as it is.

Quite the little philosopher.

We have chats all the time.

“This is what is happening”, she tells me.

“It is what it is …”

“And I am what I am”.

No hiding, nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to fear,

Just legs in the air

(I only put that in cos it rhymed)

Sure -

You might say she’s not that productive.

She doesn’t DO much.

(But I can tell you she definitely does in the nappy department)

Indeed she has nothing to do -

And that is where the doubt and self-criticism comes in, doesn’t it?

When you’ve got responsibilities and goals and external pressures and stuff like that.

I DO see your point.

The point I want to make back at you -

Is that none of us were born with self-doubt,

Or harsh perfectionism,

Or regret,

Or judgement.

Were we?

I think not.

Somehow it was learned.

If it was learned, it CAN be unlearned - even with your life as it is.

It can.

The first step is wanting to do something about it.

The second step is awareness.

Being mindful of those loops of habit.

Getting full of awareness and presence means you’re not unconsciously supplying momentum to said loops.

They fade away.

They do, I promise.

All from creating another habit,

One that is creating a new type of relationship with your mind.

And that's what we do here.

If you want that?

I think you'll really like my FREE guide.

108 ways to being less self-doubt full and more just you

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/ Makes life so much easier.

Go well! Arjuna

PS. Bubba doesn't REALLY talk to me

She is talented, but not that talented

Just before you have thoughts about stealing her away and forcing her to join your performing genius circus troop

I Really Need To Tell You This ...

If you live in the UK, and many of you do - Important news.

Speeding fines -

I was making a joke about them recently,

How sometimes you get so frazzled and wound up that you drive like a loose cannon.

Not really aware of the speed,

Just wanting to get to where you’re going fast, like yesterday fast.

You can’t do that any more, because if you do?

You’ll get your arsito …

(that is slang Spanish for derriere. Which is French for bum - I believe)

… kicked by the Man.

Speeding fines are now between 50 - 175 PERCENT of weekly wage.

Woo hoo!

That’s a chunk.

I would not want that.

It’s kinda good actually.

I used to live in a small town with a small road running through the middle of it,

And folks speeding to work and back home through my cosy village I did not like.

They really weren’t my cup of tea.

But anyway -

Moral of the story?

I don’t really have one, except slow down a touch there.

It could make the difference between feeding your family and not.

Then there’ll be some grumps around the (non) dinner table won’t there?

Actually - here’s a better moral -

The haste in your head?

Affects the haste in your life.

The haste in your life?

Affects everything.

Even your bank account.

Less haste and more speed (my Nan was a great pontificator of this)

Get present and calm and have more money.

Dude … that's not really a zinger is it?

I’m a bit off today.

Suggestions?

Hope everything is good out there for you all!

Go well! Arjuna

PS.

Workshop? Online… Wanna come? Bring friends and snacks and questions…

Free too

It’s all about busy mums, struggles and how to enjoy your mum-dom (like kingdom but different) without guilt and frazzle and thinking far too much and all that

Thursday 4th May 8pm,

Register here so I can send you the link AND a little homework before it:

https://arjunaishaya.lpages.co/cool-calm-collected/

Whoa There Nelly! Slow Down A Touch

The sun is pouring in my window this morning - I LOVE that! Little bubba is attached to me - we’re giving Sumati a sleep in (She’s been feeding all night long - yikes!)

I’m sipping a coffee.

(Bubba seems pretty happy just chewing on my shirt. Maybe I spilt coffee there?)

Do I sound calm? I feel calm.

This all means I’ve done my Ascension meditation

It’s my morning ritual you see -

Close my eyes, recharge, connect with clarity and calm and presence,

Then make and drink coffee as I get to grips with the day.

This ritual means I can get to work and not be thrown by whatever events come along.

It means I can focus and be clear.

It means I don’t head off and run around like a headless chicken.

I know you know what I mean …

When you get a little stressed, a little busy, a little harassed you try and do things faster

Or more things at the same time.

And the quality of what you do goes down the drain.

Not to mention the levels of peace that you experience.

You start to get frazzled and grouchy and snap at people and get speeding tickets.

And no one likes a speeding ticket. I hate speeding tickets actually.

Now - I KNOW you’re busy.

You have a bunch of things you HAVE to do, and then there’s all the stuff you’d LIKE to do.

But the answer?

You have to realise that time is an experience.

It’s relative.

The faster you go, the less time you have in your head.

You get MORE time when you slow down and take it moment by moment.

Alright?

So - take it easy, slow it up.

Why not even wake a touch earlier so you can start the day with some space?

I don’t mean be insanely early, but 15-20 minutes isn’t going to kill you.

Just set your alarm and get out of bed. Lying there thinking about getting up is just the pits

Some people like to make a hot drink and do nothing, maybe make a few quiet notes to organise their heads

I like to close me eyes and do my practice

(I sent you a link to a simple practice when you signed up, let me know if you need it again?)

Because it’s more effective in giving me unshakeable calm (true!)

If you do this, don't be in a hurry to get up and going again -

Be present. Be alive to this moment.

Step by step, don’t be getting ahead of yourself, alright?

It makes such a difference: you’ll do more and have more time left over.

But the critical thing is your inner state will remain spacious and clear and unruffled.

You’ll smile and joke your way through the day …

Totally worth it.

I recorded a facebook video on the topic of “not enough time” and overwhelm and what to do about it all,

Here it is if you have enough time (see what I did there?):

https://business.facebook.com/MrArjunaIshaya/videos/1459843687392073/

If you want to know more, head this way and I'll give you 108 Ways to be free of overwhelm:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

Need anything? Just ask, I’d love to chat Arjuna

PS.

If you like the idea of more time and less frazzle you might to join us for this practice, right here, I think it is THE answer but I am biased:

PPS.

I’m just sorting out a webinar workshop thing that you are cordially invited to

It’ll be a great chance to go into losing stress and getting balanced in much greater detail

And ask all the questions you need.

Just getting my head around the technology

But will let you know ASAP!

“I WILL Do This One Thing!”

How’s the chocolate hangover going? I must say I did wake with a little dry mouth and head.

I didn’t know you could get that from excessive sugar.

Or maybe I just forgot …

Maybe it contributed to me learning a very important lesson this morning,

And I thought I’d tell you all about it. Just in case you can gleam some wisdom from it, and not make the same mistake as I did.

Bubba - little monkey - showed me something.

She’s proving to be a great little teacher.

So - she’s crying, and I know she settles super quick when I put her in the sling and head out for a walk in the fresh air. I’ll do that.

No worries so far.

But. I then think:

“I’ll just put a wash on before we go”

Bubba starts crying harder and harder, kicking and squirming,

All making getting this short little task almost impossible.

I start throwing things at the general direction of the washing machine, soap is going everywhere,

Both of us are getting more and more unhappy.

She just keeps crying louder and louder. And louder.

I’m going:

“I WILL do this one thing”

Until I realise the absurdity of sticking with my plan in the face of mounting struggle -

I give in, we go outside, she falls asleep in 30 seconds flat and so I return and get my washing on.

In peace.

Without getting more soap on the floor.

Funny how we push and we push and we push, huh?

Giving up is sometimes the most easiest AND effective option.

And yet fighting and struggling through seems to be the only way.

We get blinded by our plans and cause ourselves so much stress and struggle …

Just for an idea, something we have chosen to try and do

That often doesn’t even NEED to be done, not right now.

Funny huh?

At least when you stop it’s funny.

And you know what?

Little monkey is STILL asleep.

Take the easy path,

Learn to make the way simple,

Make all of life straightforward and frazzle free:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/ Go well!

Arjuna

PS.

To me life is all about finding efficiency in action.

What can be done in this moment for the most reward for the least effort.

Fluidity - such a useful skill in that.

Be fluid!

Cos it makes all of life easier.

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/

Jekyll and Hyde - Your 2 Faced Existence

Seeing a brother and sister in a kitchen over the Easter weekend: Snapping, controlling, struggling for dominance …

Both cool people separately, but put them together:

Ooh! Old family patterns coming back with a force.

Is funny to see, isn't it?

At least it’s funny when you see it in someone else.

But how about you?

How do you react around family?

Don't worry - I know.

It's pretty clear you have a “Best You” and a “Bad You”, right?

A Jekyll and a Hyde …

Taking life (and family) with a smile, clear, focussed, calm, fulfilled, fluid, happy …

Or grumpy, confused, stressed, reactive, controlling, regretful …

How do you know which one will come out today?

It’s random isn’t it?

At least I know it seemed random to me.

I’d just get jumped by Bad Me.

Woke up on the wrong side of the bed,

With a huge button in the middle of my chest saying:

“Bait me” -

And so people did - without even knowing it.

There seems to be no control -

Although there is a pattern.

All going well in life?

Smoothly going to plan?

Nothing too unexpected or random firing at you?

No personages who create a little friction with you close by?

Plenty of rest and sleep?

Great - easy to be happy and calm.

But throw in a problem?

Something happens that you don’t want or didn’t expect?

Getting close to people who wind you up?

How does that shape your mood?

Which version of you comes out then?

Uhuh.

It sucks to have your internal mood and corresponding reactions determined by external events or people.

Because you’re like a monkey on a chain, tugged this way and that, with no control, no choice.

Good news -

You can get free of this chain.

You can get control of which part of you comes out.

You can.

It takes a little practice, but the great thing is:

The good you? The best version of you?

It’s right there, just there.

You just need to choose for it, to create the space to be that.

Getting out of your head and learning to be present is an excellent start.

Mastering your mind and your habitual chain reactions changes all of life.

All of life. And all of your reactions and actions.

If you’re interested in that, here’s how to get going on that, so simply:

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/ Keep the peace!

Arjuna

PS.

It changed my entire way of interacting with people and indeed my life.

It meant I could be the boss of my mind and my emotions and not let them be the boss of me.

A huge relief to have freedom of choice and be independent of the ups and downs of the world, you know?

And no longer be embarrassed and regretful when Bad Me fronted up, quicker than quick and did something or said something stupid.

https://arjunaishaya.leadpages.co/sane-fb/